Bad haircuts are the worst!

So I decided to attempt to give Anna bangs today. Have you ever tried cutting a 23-month-old's hair? She wouldn't hold still, I cut some of it too short...I am so irritated!!! It's probably not the WORST haircut in the toddler world, but definitely not the best. I've also decided that she looks better without bangs anyway, so I probably will let them grow back out, at least for now. My thinking was, this way she could wear her hair down and not just back, in a clip, etc. WELLLLL, the bangs don't really look good enough to just have all of them down anyway...so much for that...

Quick adoption update (really a non-update): since my last post, AAI did get ahold of this family's social worker...and the social worker had no idea why this family had not returned the paperwork. The social worker said they would contact the family and then contact AAI with more info. (I have no idea why AAI won't just call the family themselves as opposed to going through a third-party.) That was late Thursday afternoon and I haven't heard anything since. Bummer.

STILL No News

Just wanted to share that we are STILL waiting for word that the relinquishment documents have been signed. I received an email yesterday from Merrily saying that she has no clue why the papers haven't come, why they haven't heard from the family, etc. and has a call in to their social worker to find out what is going on.

We were supposed to be leaving for Africa by now, but instead we are here waiting anxiously. I worry that this family has randomly changed their minds yet again (although if they did I have no clue why they are not contacting AAI so they can get the boys home.) It has been an extremely stressful last several days, to say the least.

Please pray for the situation, for the boys, and for strength for us to deal with all of it. Yosef and Biniam have made their way into our hearts and we'd like nothing more than to be their mom and dad. I will post something when there is some definitive news!

The Michelin Man

(While we've been doing this as an adoption blog specifically, I figured we may as well just make it a Heldt family blog. There'll be more to post about that way! And so I thought I'd share a funny Anna story, just because!)

We bought Anna Beth a new jacket recently, and while it's a great jacket, it is seriously puffy (which of course is hard to determine shopping online, plus it's still a little big for her.) It makes her arms kinda stick out, like Randy's in "The Christmas Story."

The day it arrived in the mail, I put it on her when Kevin got home to show him. She ran proudly from room to room, arms sticking out and looking just like the Michelin Man, while Kevin and I laughed hysterically.

But for some reason she just loves wearing it. This particular night in December, it was seriously freezing outside (for Santa Maria anyway), but Anna wanted to go look at the moon, as usual. So we bundled her up and set her loose. Suffice it to say, she had a ball.

Yosef

Biniam

Latest News

I haven't posted in forever (sorry Jeannett! :) ), even though a lot has been happening. Part of why I haven't posted is because we've been so busy, and part is because I'd wanted to wait until our news was "official." However I'm tired of having one of those lame blogs that's never updated :), so I will post about everything that's going on, even though it's not technically official.

December 14th, we got a phone call from Merrily, the head of our agency (AAI) and received a referral for twin 11 month old boys! She said that another couple had already adopted the boys, flew to Ethiopia to pick them up, and decided that they didn't want to adopt afterall, that it was too overwhelming (they have two little girls at home.) They got the boys their exit visas at the embassy, but left them there in Ethiopia and returned to the US. The boys legally belong to these people, who are supposed to be signing (or have possibly already signed) relinquishment documents, which AAI will file with the court. This has never happened before, in all the many years AAI has been doing adoptions, so it is a strange situation.

As soon as AAI receives these relinquishment documents and submits them to the court, we can sign our acceptance paperwork and travel to Ethiopia to get them! So we could be going in the next couple of weeks! Normally there is at least a two month lead time between when you receive a referral and when you travel, but the twins are already cleared to leave so there should be a really short lead time.

SO the last couple of weeks have been a blur...we got our travel shots, had our passports expedited, have combined our guest room and office to have a room for the boys, bought another crib, two more carseats and two baby carriers...the list goes on! Kevin says this was his least relaxing Christmas vacation ever. :) We're also in the process of purchasing some things for Anna since she will pass her crib and dresser on to the twins (and will graduate to a "big girl" bed.)

We are super excited to love these boys and make them our sons. We feel pretty anxious about the whole thing, and worry that maybe this couple will change their minds yet again and decide to adopt the boys afterall...our agency assures us that won't happen, but part of me wonders if it's more of a risk than they think or let on. Please pray that they'll receive the relinquishment papers soon so that we can move on and (finally!) get these kids home.

Oh their names are Yosef and Biniam. And they are super cute! Check out their pics above.

Two month mark

Today it has been two months that we have been waiting for a referral. We are number one on the list, but no word yet. I know of several people behind us on the list who have received referrals for single infant babies (seems like referrals have just been rolling in lately, except of course for young siblings!)

So no news, nothing to report. We're still just waiting anxiously. I feel like I love these kids already--God has already given me so much love for them in my heart.

In the meantime, while we're waiting, I'm trying to get things around our house more organized because once we have three kids I'm not going to have the time I do now and I'm sure being extra organized will be a huge help (more like a huge necessity!) I'd say most things are somewhat organized, but a lot of things could use some improvement.

World AIDS Day

I don't have any adoption news to share, so I wanted to do something in honor of World AIDS Day. (Ideally I would have done this post yesterday, as December 1st was World AIDS Day.) In the process of adopting from Ethiopia and then in learning more about the world we live in, my eyes have been opened to this devastating disease that is ravaging much of our world, and the effect it is having on millions upon millions of people. (My eyes have also been opened to the fact that much of the western world is largely oblivious to the seriousness and urgency of the matter. People just don't care. Sadly, I didn't either up until several months ago.)

World Vision says that worldwide, each day, 6,000 children are orphaned by this disease...6,000! Every day! That's 6,000 new kids each day without parents to care for them or provide for them. By 2010, they say there will be more than 25 million AIDS orphans around the world.

So what can we do? Lots of things! Here are just a few:

• First off, there is an AWESOME organization, AHOPE, that has an orphanage in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia, solely dedicated to caring for orphaned children who are themselves infected with HIV/AIDS. Sponsorship of a child is $30 per month. These children are receiving an education, are fed and cared for and are, as of recently, receiving the ARV medications (what we treat AIDS with here, it slows down the disease. Being treated with these drugs gives these kids a future.) This is a great, great way to help out and I guarantee you won't miss that $30 a month. Not only have these kids lost their parents, they are living with a horrible disease. They have a wesite, www.ahopeforchildren.org.
• Adoption! It's not the whole solution, but it's part of the solution. Like I mentioned above, 6,000 kids are being orphaned daily because of this disease. That's a lot of kids who need loving homes. Sometimes we make things so complicated, but opening our homes and hearts to a child without a home is absolutely necessary and important. What else will they do?
• Go sign up with the One Campaign. Go to www.one.org. It's "the campaign to make poverty history." Maybe you've seen the t-shirts or the white wristbands (I wear mine all the time.) Basically it's a ton of people from all over banding together as "one" to make a difference. It's celebrities, regular people, and relief organizations. The One Campaign is calling on our leaders to do more to help combat AIDS and poverty globally. They don't want your money, just your voice. Go to the site and check out the different stuff you can do to make a difference!

So that's my World AIDS Day post (a day late.) If you're politically conservative when it comes to social issues, please don't let the politicization (is that even a word? It is now! :) ) of AIDS in our country keep you from reaching out. (I myself never thought I'd ever "band together" with Susan Sarandon on ANYTHING--but she's part of the One Campaign...go figure! God must be broadening my horizons!) I found this article written by Richard E. Stearns, the president of World Vision, that I'll close with...please share what you think about it. I will do the same later.(I apologize, it's maybe a bit long for a blog but in my opinion it's really worth the read!)

Samaritans in the AIDS Crisis

A biblical parable offers important lessons about how Christians should respond to the global AIDS epidemic.
By Richard E. Stearns

Two thousand years after Jesus gave the church the parable of the Good Samaritan, we are still asking the question, "Who is my neighbor?" And we’re still getting the answer wrong.

Jesus used this parable to challenge the religious establishment of His day. Today, the parable compels us to challenge our own community of faith, an American Church that is only belatedly responding to the AIDS pandemic, which last year alone killed 3 million people. Most of them were in Africa.

The lesson, which begins in Luke 10:25, answers one of the most profound questions in all of Scripture, asked in the story by an expert in the law: "Who is my neighbor?"

We find Jesus' answer in the actions of the four main characters: the victim, the priest, the Levite and the Samaritan.

The only thing we know for certain about the victim is that he was in dire need: beaten, wounded, bleeding, and possibly dying. We don't know why he was beaten. He may have been an "innocent" victim, unjustly attacked. He may have been a robber, beaten by fellow thieves. Jesus did not feel that it was relevant whether the man who had been beaten was at fault.

Today, as many as 46 million people are infected with the AIDS virus. In southern Africa, one in five adults is infected. If Jesus, in the parable of the Good Samaritan, did not distinguish between those who became victims because of sinful behavior and those who were innocent victims, should we? In truth, we are bound by Scripture to respond to all those beaten and left by the side of the road by this devastating virus.

Scripture makes clear who has the right and the responsibility to judge: It is God, not us. Yet we judge people with AIDS. We conveniently forget that we all would be dead if we faced such a certain death for any of our sins – including indifference to those who are suffering.

That sin, of course, is the only one Jesus condemns in the story of the Good Samaritan, and is embodied by the next two characters in the drama: the priest
and the Levite. They represent the religious establishment of the day. We are told that they saw the man and yet they passed by on the other side of the road, unwilling to help. They knew what was right, but failed to act.

In 2002, World Vision commissioned a study through the Barna Research Group to determine the willingness of the Christian community to get involved in fighting the AIDS epidemic. When evangelical Christians were asked whether they would be willing to donate money to help children orphaned by AIDS, only 3 percent answered that they definitely would. More than half said that they probably or definitely would not help. The survey found that by many measures, non-Christians were more inclined to help.

How should the Christian community respond to those affected by AIDS? The fourth character of Jesus' parable shows us.

The Samaritans were often despised by the Jews, and considered them heretical and unclean. Nevertheless, this Samaritan saw the man at the side of the road “and took pity on him." He bandaged his wounds and poured oil and wine upon them as a salve. He put the man on his own donkey, transported him to an inn, and left money for his care. And he promised to return to check up on the man again. It was not a minimal response. It was a complete engagement.

The Samaritans of the AIDS crisis seem just as unlikely to today's religious establishment: the homosexual community, Hollywood, political liberals, the U.S. government, the United Nations, secular humanitarian organizations, and even a rock star. Bono, lead singer of the group U2, has been a prophetic voice on AIDS. When addressing a group of Christians in Washington, Bono asked, "Will American Christians stand by as an entire continent dies for 'small money'?"

Years from now, the AIDS pandemic will be judged as one of those rare crossroads in human history, where everything that comes after it will be seen through its lens. Every generation struggles with events and crises that ultimately define it. Every generation has its sins – of commission and omission. The lens of history can be brutally honest in its judgment.

How could American pioneers justify their treatment of Native Americans? How could pre-Civil-War America have tolerated slavery? How could churches in America have turned a blind eye to racial discrimination in the '40s and '50s? And how can the American church, with all its resources and influence, fail to respond proportionally to the greatest problem facing the world?

I am certain that God expects His people to act, not remain silent. I am certain that God sees these widows and orphans as our neighbors, lying beaten and bleeding on the side of the road, helpless and needing our help. And I am certain that He calls us to stop, show compassion, comfort them, bind up their wounds and see that they and their children are cared for.

How? By advocating for right theology in our churches and right policies by our
government. By praying for people with AIDS, for the children they leave behind, and for their caregivers. By volunteering with local organizations serving people affected by HIV/AIDS. And by supporting our brothers and sisters in Africa and elsewhere in their efforts to stop this epidemic and care for those whose lives already have been shattered.

Jesus ends the Parable of the Good Samaritan with a powerful challenge. When He asked the expert in the law which of the three men had been a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of robbers, he answers with a new understanding: "The one who had mercy on him."

Jesus then looks at this man and concludes what is perhaps the most powerful moral teaching in all of history with a command of just four words. "Go and do likewise."

CIS Approval!

Yesterday in the mail we received Form I-171H, our CIS approval letter!!! This is a big thing; basically it means that we can legally bring two orphans into our country! (It also will allow our children to get visas to leave their country.) We've been waiting and waiting (we were fingerprinted in August) and it finally came. It also verified that our advance processing application has been forwarded to the American embassy in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia. At any rate, this is one more thing that is done and one step closer. We're so thankful there weren't any problems with our prints, etc. and that as far as our government is concerned, we're cleared to go!

Weekly update

No news to report, unfortunately. Except that the stroller came and it's awesome! We got it out of the box and pushed Anna around the house in it. It's great. Now we just need to fill it!

I also just sold something on ebay! My first time. We bought (well Kevin bought) this DVD of Ellen's standup comedy at Costco a couple of months ago. We watched it and it wasn't all that great, and we knew we wouldn't want to watch it again. SO I sold it on ebay! Hee, hee! I have to ship it out today (gotta get that positive feedback.....) Ebay is the embodiment of the expression "one man's junk is another man's treasure" or something like that.

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and we're spending it at Grandma and Grandpa Perruzzi's house (my parents). Last night as we were tucking Anna in, I asked Anna if she wanted to see "Moses", "Rose", (my parents' cats) and Grandma and Grandpa the next day. She immediately started saying "Momees" and trying to climb out of her bed, and then started to cry! Poor kid! I apparently got her all excited about the cats and Grandma and Grandpa and she wanted to see them right then! She cried herself to sleep! Too much Thanksgiving excitement I guess...

The List

Well Kevin called our agency AAI this morning to pay a fee we owed them, and spoke to the head of the agency. He asked where we were at on the "waiting list" so to speak, and found out that we are FIRST on the list of families wanting siblings!! We are number four overall although the three families ahead of us have all received referrals (for single babies), they just haven't formally accepted them yet. SO that is very, very good news!

She said that the orphanages they work with in Ethiopia know that AAI has a family ready to go for twins--meaning us! Very exciting. Even though it could still be awhile, it's good to know that we aren't behind someone else waiting for the same thing, and that all of the orphanages know that there is a family waiting to take twins.

One thing we are praying about is that the referral will include a little girl--we would really, really love Anna Beth to have a sister. So please be praying for that and that we won't have to wait too terribly long. This waiting stuff is hard!

First purchase!

I just had to post and say that today we made our very first purchase for our babies from Ethiopia: a double stroller! For some reason this makes me really excited, I think because it makes it seem so much more real! We found a good deal online on the Peg Perego Aria 5 Twin MT Stroller in black. It's pretty stylin'--check it out!

Even though we don't even have a referral yet, we bought it anyway. :) Can't hurt to be prepared!

Quick update

I just heard today that things in Addis Ababa seem to have calmed down. The medical clinic has reopened, most of the taxis are running, the courts are reopening, and families have gotten new travel dates to collect their children. So for now, things seem to be getting back to normal. Let's pray they stay that way!

Political unrest in Ethiopia

Just wanted to share a little about what is currently going on in Ethiopia. Back in May elections were held and starting in June, the opposition party began saying that the election was rigged, corrupt, etc. These people have been staging protests. The police have been shooting and killing many of these protestors (prime minister Meles Zenawi and his government are responsible for having the police do this.) Meles' government is said to have little tolerance for opposition. At any rate, these violent demonstrations primarily took place in Ethiopia's capital, Addis Ababa (where our agency's facility, as well as most of the NGO's, are located, as well as the American embassy, medical clinics, etc.)

The last couple of days have been peaceful, with no shootings. However the entire city has shut down due to the opposition party "organizing" a taxi strike (taxis are the main transportation there), in other words anyone operating their taxi or going somewhere in a car is risking being hurt by the opposition party.

What does this mean for adoption? Sadly, many of our agency's parents were scheduled to pick up their children this month, but that has been postponed for two weeks at least, because due to the fact that no one in Addis is going out of their home to go to work, the American embassy isn't able to offer travel visas to these kids and the kids are unable to go to the medical clinic to get their final medical (required for them to get the visa to leave.) Also, because the town is essentially shut down, that means that no deliveries are happening (to stores, etc.) so grocery stores that are open hardly have any food and our agency's facility is running low. No one knows yet what the next day will bring. Please pray that these political issues can be sorted out peacefully with no more lives lost and that life can return to normal for those living in Ethiopia.

I don't know if any of this affects us directly, but obviously it could affect our eventual travel to Ethiopia. Interestingly, just as quickly as these things crop up, they can calm down, at least for awhile (as evidenced by the last two days being extremely peaceful, and the fact that since June until now things have been calm.) Travel would be a long way off for us anyway being that we don't have a referral yet, but we are thankful that Ethiopia would allow us to just have the children escorted home, if unrest is still a problem then.

I find myself so thankful to live in a country where we (for the most part) have the freedom to disagree, voice our dissent, and walk down the street without fear of being arrested or killed. I know I take that for granted but have been reminded of our amazing freedoms these last few days.

FAQ's

Since beginning this adoption, we've noticed that people are pretty curious about what we're doing, why we're doing it, and when we're doing it. So I've decided to compile some of the more "frequently asked questions" and our answers to them.

• Why are you adopting when you can have "your own" children? I think that many, many people associate adoption with infertility and are genuinely surprised when someone chooses to adopt that is able to have biological children. The simple answer to this question is, "because we really want to!":) The fact is that there are millions upon millions of orphaned children in the world. The Bible tells us in James that "true religion" is caring for the widows and the orphans. When God spoke these things to us through James I believe He meant more than simply giving them money occasionally. We have a roof over our heads and plenty of food, and we believe that is meant to be shared. God has given us hearts for growing our family and hearts for the "least of these" as the Bible says. With so many Christians world-wide I think it is tragic that so many orphans languish in these orphanages year after year. And finally, these children WILL be "our own." That is the amazing, beautiful thing about adoption.

• Why are you adopting from Ethiopia when there are plenty of orphans here? A child orphaned in the United States of America, the most prosperous nation in the world, still has much more opportunity than a child orphaned in Ethiopia. Many kids in the foster system in our country also come from abusive homes with a lot of psychological damage, which we don't currently feel equipped to handle at this time. AND, there are currently 20 couples waiting to adopt for every infant born here, so there is not really a need for adoptive parents of infants in the U.S. right now. Some people are perhaps of the opinion that we should "take care of our own" first, however John 3:16 says "For God so loved the world...", and therefore so should we. Our government has systems in place to care for "our own," while many children orphaned in Africa live on the streets. Africa has a huge orphan crisis, the result of poverty, AIDS, and other poverty-related illnesses, and I believe that God is calling on us who have more than we need, wanting to use us to help those who are in need. We can be part of His plan if we let Him work through us.

• Why Ethiopia? I guess the simple answer would be that God has drawn us to Africa. Ethiopia is a beautiful country with an amazing history and amazing, hard-working, beautiful people. We are also eligible to adopt from Ethiopia even though only one of us is 25 (many countries require both parents to be 25, some 30.)

• What age/sex child are you getting? Our only age specification is that they would be younger than Anna (although we're approved for up to age 3.) We are waiting for a sibling set of two, which will most likely be twins, with at least one girl.

• When will you get them? I have no idea. :) Right now we're waiting for a referral and all of our documents are in Ethiopia. We could get a referral tomorrow, or it could be another few months. (A referral means that they contact you with children meeting what you had specified.) We have been waiting four weeks and a day so far. :)

• Do you have to travel to get them? No, but we're going to! Ethiopia is one of the few countries that allows a child to be escorted to the United States, but we look forward to traveling to Ethiopia and seeing their homeland and culture.

• Isn't it like you're buying children? Nope. We pay certain fees but they are all for paperwork processing, our agency, legal fees for your case to go to court, travel/escort fees, etc. You do not pay any sort of fee for the child. It's a pretty complex process involving a lot of different people, governments, and languages!

• Will they be healthy? Most likely, by third-world standards. That means that sometimes they will have things like lice, scabies, ringworm, etc. which are all treatable. We are approved for moderate special-needs but most likely our referral will be for healthy children. Sadly, most children born with special-needs in Africa don't survive due to lack of medical care. All children are tested for HIV, TB, and Hepatitus upon coming into care at the orphanage.