Finally some good news

Okay we finally found an agency willing to do the interstate compact thing. They seem to know their stuff and I feel good about using them. Looks like they'll be signing an interagency contract with our original homestudy/post-placement agency so that they can still provide us the post-placement visits (which makes me happy because I did really like the social worker we had.) Unfortunately, this interstate compact in addition to the post-placement is ending up costing over double what just the normal post-placement would have been. But we don't really have time to "shop around" anymore and I don't know that we could find anyone else anyway.

So that's the update. Looks like we'll be leaving as scheduled. I don't feel like we're totally out of the woods yet but AAI thinks we should still be leaving on time. Now I need to switch gears and start thinking about little Anna's birthday party!

Hopefully a resolution

Well that "promising" lead I mentioned yesterday looks like it will work out--I don't know for sure yet but I am pretty positive. They should be talking to AAI this morning. I will post something definitive when I know more.

Picked up our prescriptions last night. Today I need to make some returns/buy some things and continue getting ready for Anna's party Friday night. Unfortunately I have no clue who is coming because due to the Goleta postal shooting (that's where our mail goes to be sorted), the mail was delayed so some people are just now getting the invitations that I mailed over two weeks ago! I am so bummed; I don't want to have to call everyone but I might have to. And then who knows if they'll be able to come since it's such short notice. Oh well.......

Latest adoption fiasco

Okay just when you think everything is fine and dandy, something else happens...

I received a call yesterday from our homestudy/post-placement agency Across the World Adoptions (ATWA.) They did our homestudy and we had contracted with them (a long time ago) to do our post-placement visits (contract required before travel.) Way back in December, when we received this unusual referral, our agency (AAI) contacted them to verify that they are licensed to do our post-placement because now it is an interstate issue (since AAI, located in Washington state, had those other adoptive parents relinquish the boys to them. So instead of being an international adoption, we are now "technically" adopting the boys from our agency in Washington. I know, it's confusing and I still don't get it.) So ATWA said yes, they can still do the post-placement.

Back to the phone call. Apparently whoever at ATWA told AAI that they were licensed to do the interstate adoption was wrong. They are in fact NOT able to do that. ATWA dropped this in my lap one week from when we're supposed to be traveling. AAI has some forms ready to FEDEX overnight to whatever agency we go with for the post-placement.

So it is NOT EASY trying to find someone who can do this, who even knows anything about what interstate adoption issues are...I've been on the phone for two days straight, nothing definitive, and while AAI won't come out and say it directly, I think they will delay our travel if this isn't in order. Which I don't know that it will be even if we figure out an agency tomorrow. Because they would have to return these forms to AAI before we could leave.

We had a lead that fell through today (some agency COULD do it but they won't do anything to do with African adoptions--I have no clue why), and then another promising one that I hope will work out. An agency just told ATWA they could do this (and were going to call AAI right away to make sure they know the situation. Unfortunately Ethiopia staff at AAI leave for the day at 2:30, which I have decided is really frustrating!) I hope they pan out. This is just so annoying. I am running around trying to get things in order to leave, trying to clean the house and get ready for Anna's birthday party Friday night and order our prescriptions (which our doctor dropped the ball on once; hopefully he won't again!) and trying to take care of Anna...sheesh!

I'll post an update once we find something out!

Yosef and Biniam's room

Here are some pics of the boys' room. Unfortunately, we don't have anything to put up on the walls yet but that will come eventually. :)

The room doesn't really have a theme, although their bedding is this really cute jungle print. It was on total clearance at Toys R Us so we kind of stumbled upon it. It's pretty cute (plus the price was right) and ended up going so well with the color we painted the room. I was bummed that they were going to have the exact same bedding, but it was just so cute and a great price and I couldn't find anything else I liked. Then the other night when I took it out of the package I discovered that they randomly had different bedskirts! Yay! So they are not EXACTLY the same.

We also have a dresser in there (wasn't in the room yet when I took these pictures) as well as a changing table. How we were able to fit everything in that room I do not know. Also I believe we decided to rearrange the cribs to make better use of space but that gives an idea!

Changes at the Heldt house

So last night was Anna's first night in her big-girl bed! (We haven't actually put the bed together yet, so it was just the twin mattress on the floor.) She did great! I turned all the lights off and laid with her on the bed, until she fell asleep. I left the room and she didn't wake up until her normal time the next morning!!! I have to admit I felt a little emotional seeing her in a real bed and not in her crib anymore, where she's slept for the past nearly-two-years.

We spent last night (and into the wee hours of the morning unfortunately) preparing the boys' room! Kevin surprised me when I got home from our church retreat late Saturday afternoon by having the whole boys' room painted! I was so happy when I walked into the house and it smelled like paint (AND let it be known that he somehow managed to do this with Anna underfoot, with no paint incidents.) That night we hit up Target and WalMart for some more stuff: socks for the boys, a couple of shirts for them, a set of twin sheets for Anna's new bed, and a great four-drawer cart thingy for Anna's closet (to put diapers and wipes, her shoes and socks, and some other things in since her changing table has now gone to the boys as well.) Still haven't found her a dresser.

Anyway, we got the boys' room pretty much done last night!!! It looks so happy and cheery; we're both pretty pleased with it. While we were working on clearing out Anna's room she was in the boys' room jumping up and down on one of their crib mattresses that was laying there, yelling "Brothers! Brothers!" She is really, really excited about her brothers coming! Then today we were reading a Winnie the Pooh book together and got to a page where Christopher Robin and Pooh are sitting together. She pointed and said, "Brothers." It was so great! I think she's starting to understand a little what a brother is, and definitely knows that she's going to have some. (If I ask her, "Who are Mommy and Daddy gonna go get?" she answers without missing a beat, "Brothers!" And if I ask where she's going to be while we're doing that, she'll say "Grandma and Grandpa's!")

Things are slowly falling into place. Today I'm going to try to make a list of all the things we need to buy before leaving and attempt to get some of them today. I also need to call the doctor to get two prescriptions that we will hopefully NOT need to take for something called "traveler's diarrhea." (Last night I told Kevin maybe we should take bets on which of us will get sick. He predicts we both will! I sure hope he's wrong!!! As a preventative measure we will be popping Pepto Bismol tablets every day, sick or not. Maybe it won't do anything, but hey, at least we'll feel like we're keeping ourselves healthy!)

I am actually super excited about the food we'll get to eat there. From everything I've read and heard they eat some really yummy things! I am always up for trying new and interesting food and nothing beats getting to eat authentic stuff. While I've been wanting to make a trip down to Los Angeles to go to an Ethiopian restaurant, I'm happy my first Ethiopian food will be from Ethiopia! (I also plan to start cooking some Ethiopian dishes and making it a regular part of what we eat. Though something tells me it will take some practice!)

Leaving on a jetplane...

We bought our tickets today! We are flying out of Los Angeles the morning of February 13 and arriving in Addis Ababa the evening of February 14 (local time, as they are several hours ahead of us.) Then we're coming back February 20 (leaving from Ethiopia at midnight, arriving in Los Angeles in the afternoon. Hooray!

I got the boys' room all taped today, ready to be painted (by Kevin.) We'll be getting some more big girl furniture for Anna this weekend (a dresser, as her current one will go to the boys.) Some wonderful friends are letting us borrow a cute twin bed for her until their little baby needs it, and we'll be picking it up Sunday. Things are slowly falling into place I think!

We have already bought two more carseats and two baby bjorns. Next stop is high chairs. I cannot WAIT to meet our little boys! I am so anxious! Two different people who adopted from our agency and were in Addis picking up their own children in December have emailed me saying they met Yosef and Biniam while they were there, and that they were really sweet and cute! It makes the wait seem so much more bearable getting to hear about our boys.

I'm also really excited because tonight and then tomorrow is our church's womens' retreat! It's my first time going and I'm really looking forward to it. It's being held at our church (so not an overnighter or anything.) Tonight is a dessert. Should be fun and a good diversion from all the preparation!

On our way!

Well I am so, so thrilled to finally be able to post this: we are going to Ethiopia!!! Sometime late next week! Yayyy!

Kevin got the "call" (or email, as it was) today. The phone rang here, I said hello, and he asked if I was ready to go on a trip. I was thinking, what on earth is he talking about? I thought maybe it was some cute (though cryptic!) way of him asking if I wanted to play this online minesweeper game thing with him on his lunch break (okay maybe it sounds nerdy but I can assure you it's a lot of fun. You can get it through MSN games and it's two-way minesweeper. I rarely win but I have a good time losing!) So I said, "huh?" And he repeated, "Are you ready to go on a trip?" THEN I'm thinking, did he win some trip through work or something? So I said, "No, I'm not ready, what trip?" And then he told me that we're headed to Ethiopia!

What a shock! I wasn't expecting things so soon! We are cleared to go Wednesday at the very soonest; however Anna's two-year birthday party is scheduled for Friday evening, February 10th, plus it'd be nice to have a LITTLE more time to prepare. So we are looking at leaving a day or two after that.

Our lives have just gotten a lot busier! Super exciting, super scary, all at the same time! Kevin and I were talking today on the phone about how much little Anna's life will change, now having two brothers in the family! I know she will adore them, but of course it will be a huge adjustment. I hope the transition goes smoothly as possible.

So that's the latest! We'll keep you posted as our travel plans shape up!

Oh and check out our spiffy new suitcases we got for the trip!

Attachment Parenting

As we're still waiting to get our boys, I am thinking more about how things will be once they are here and about how that transition will go. It will be such an adjustment for them and the sooner they are able to bond to us, the better.

I don't know a whole lot about the Attachment Parenting movement. I guess that term was coined by Dr. Sears (who I really like, from the small amount I've heard from him), and I know some of the main tenets are breastfeeding, baby carrying, and co-sleeping. I'd like to learn more; it seems like baby carrying and co-sleeping would be a big help in promoting attachment with these little guys. I looked online and there seems to be no shortage of books on the subject.

SO, my question to anyone out there is, if you have done the attachment parenting thing, what books have been helpful to you? Also since the boys are about one year old (and adopted), are there any attachment parenting books specifically for this type of situation? It would seem that many of the books are either targeted to parents of newborns and focus a lot on nursing, or they are designed for parents of kids with attachment problems (which I don't know that these boys have.) I am wondering too for any adoptive parents if you feel attachment parenting really helped them attach sooner/better, or if anyone out there has any ideas they have used/plan to use. Basically any info from anybody would be appreciated!

I passed!

I got this math test from one of my favorite blogs, Mary's Owlhaven, and I got a 9/10 right! Yippee! I think that's a far better score than I ever got in my 8th grade honors math class! I've never liked math all that much I have to admit...give me an essay to write any day. We have talked about wanting to homeschool our children once they reach school age, and suffice it to say that Kevin will be the "go-to guy" for their math. It just hurts my brain too much! Now go follow the link and take the test yourself!

You Passed 8th Grade Math

Congratulations, you got 9/10 correct!

Could You Pass 8th Grade Math?

Happy Birthday Yosef and Biniam!

Today is Yosef and Biniam's birthday (though in Ethiopia it was yesterday as they are several hours ahead of us.) It is sad not being with them for their first birthday (especially since they aren't for sure "ours" yet), but hopefully it won't be much longer. HAPPY BIRTHDAY YOSEF AND BINIAM! We love you and hope to bring you home very, very soon!

(I just heard from our agency today. They received a call from the "father" of the family earlier this week assuring them he did want to get things settled quickly and that the agency's lawyer would be hearing from the family's lawyer soon, but hasn't happened yet. (Personally I think they missed getting things "settled quickly" awhile back...) SO we took this to at least mean that yes this family is still wanting to relinquish the boys, it's just a matter of time. And let's hope it happens soon!!!)

Tagged!

I got tagged! By Mary, from http://owhlhaven.blogspot.com. I love these sorts of things! (And somehow the formatting got messed up but oh well, I have no clue how to fix it.)

Four jobs you have had in your life:

-Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory
-Taco Bell (hey only for 3 months!)
-Office Manager for Assemblyman Abel Madonado
-Nanny (for 5 kids 10 and under!)

Four movies you'd watch over and over:

-When Harry Met Sally
-You've Got Mail
-Cheaper By the Dozen
-Either of the Father of the Bride movies

Four places you've lived:

-Creston, CA
-San Luis Obispo, CA
-Santa Barbara, CA
-Santa Maria, CA

Four TV shows you love to watch:

-Seinfeld
-Friends
-The Apprentice
-Days of Our Lives (no, I'm not embarrassed to admit it and no, I don't watch every day!)

Four websites I visit daily:

-My own blog

-Our pastor's blog -Hotmail -Yahoo Ethiopian adoption group

Four favorite foods:

-Seafood -Steak -Salad -Chinese food

Four places I'd love to be now: -Ethiopia (picking up our boys!!!) -Hawaii (never been but it sounds good!) -Hanging out anywhere with Kevin -East Coast

Four bloggers I am tagging:

-Shelley, http://thewalatkafamily.blogspot.com

And, sadly, that is really the only other blogger I know, aside from the blogger who tagged me, but if I recall, no "tag-backs" allowed....:)

Small update

Don't you love my unoriginal post titles???

Well, Kevin wrote a long email to the head of our agency today, very honest but respectful about how we're feeling, what this is like for us and sharing that we are frustrated at having no real information about any of what is going on (and that it feels like it's pulling teeth to get any info.) We received a reply within about 20 minutes, and were able to find out what exactly is going on. The basic gist that I will share here is that this family is upset with our agency and is therefore dragging their feet with getting these papers signed, and has now brought their lawyer into it. We are shocked that someone could do this to two precious, beautiful baby boys who now continue to sit in Ethiopia, day after day.

Please pray for these kids!!! And that their "parents" would just sign the papers so we can get these kids home!

On the positive side of things the interaction with our agency was great, we found out why they'd been hesitant to share the specifics before, and found out that they are just as upset as we are about what is happening. They even told us to feel free to vent to them because they're doing the same thing over there. We both felt really validated, and that they truly do care about these kids (the most important thing afterall!) and about us. They also admitted that in hindsight, they would have done some things differently. Basically I was pretty impressed with them and the way they handled things. They really haven't been sitting on this not pursuing it. It sounds like a lot of unfortunate things have been going on behind the scenes. We both feel much better about our choice of agencies.

So that's that. For now we'll just keep praying and waiting.

Still waiting for news

Got an email from AAI today, saying they're going to call the "dad" of this other family today. I have to admit I feel a bit (oh okay, VERY) frustrated that it has taken them this long to pick up the phone and call these people when it's been a MONTH since they sent that paperwork out. I also get the distinct impression that this is not a huge priority to them and not only that, there was even a rather (in my opinion) insensitive comment in the email saying that even if this doesn't work out, we're on the list for twins so we will get our babies eventually.

Ummmmm....they seriously do not "get it." They call us with a referral, say congratulations, tell us to get a hold of the travel agent to make plans, etc., etc., then let a month go by from the time they sent out the paperwork with no contact with this family.

I know adoptive parents often get impatient, wonder why it's taking so long, etc. but this is very different. They've got two boys sitting over there cleared to leave, they congratulate us and tell us they're ours, then let a whole month pass by...and then come in with a really insensitive comment? Ouch.

I'll post more when I know something. Just wanted to give the latest (embittering) update.

Some things about me

Thirteen Things about Brianna Thirteen Things that Make Me Smile 1. My daughter's laughter 2. Beating Kevin at Parcheesi 3. White mocha's 4. Remembering all of the funny things my best friend and I did in high school 5. Having a clean house 6. Making a nice dinner 7. Getting Chinese take-out with Kevin 8. Watching Seinfeld while eating Chinese take-out 9. Cooking for my family 10. Talking about adoption 11. A clean, full refrigerator 12. Lazy Sunday afternoons at home 13. Bedtime prayers with our little girl Links to other Thursday Thirteens! 1. (leave your link in comments, I’ll add you here!) Mary's Owlhaven

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This morning I had an email in my inbox from the head of our agency. Said she contacted the family's social worker yesterday, and didn't hear back. If she doesn't hear back today she will be calling the family directly (thank goodness!) tomorrow. She also said (I had asked in an email why they are only talking through this third-party social worker) that the social worker had wanted to be an intermediary. Pretty weird, and from that I am thinking that this family doesn't want to deal with AAI at all. The lady also mentioned that at this point she has no idea what is going on with the family, etc...well that makes two of us! She also said she really does believe this will work out eventually. Will keep you posted...