Always watching...

My youngest and my oldest.

Nearly six years apart but head-over-heels in love with one another.

Anna can get Mary laughing like nobody else.

And her patience is unending with her sweet baby sister.

I can't help but think that Anna is getting some great mama-training, having a baby in the house--I imagine that children soak up a lot of life experience based on what's going on in the home.  My older kids--each one of them--is learning about patience, sacrifice, and the sheer joy of adding a little one to the family.  Those are good life skills to have.

Just the other day, as we trekked into WalMart, Kaitlyn looked around and aggressively earnestly asked, "Can we get some more kids?  Because this is all the kids we have" (gesturing around at the baby snug agaisnt my chest in the Ergo, and the three big kids swirling around my cart.  Oh and at herself of course.)  I burst out laughing, finding the irony in her nothing-if-not-direct question.  More kids?  We already have more kids than probably 80% of US couples.  Apparently she thinks the more, the merrier.  And that is good to hear, considering the fact that she was the one dethroned as the "baby" when Mary Lu came along.  She didn't seem to mind losing that status, and welcomed her new sister with open arms. 

More and more I'm realizing that children are like sponges, and they begin absorbing your values and attitudes very early on.  What's another sibling added to the mix?  More fun and more love, basically.  That's what my kids think (even though I've never, ever explicitly taught them this) and it's what we think, too.

Sometimes I wonder if people think I see the world through rose-colored lenses, if I'm a glutton for punishment, or if I belong on that show about hoarders.  Hopefully the actual answer to each of those questions is "no".  :)  Raising children is hard work.  Some days I want to stay in bed with the covers pulled up over my head.  And ignore all the demands requests and questions and meal prep and housework.  Occasionally I daydream about the simple, quiet life where my house doesn't get messy in under thirty seconds and where I don't need a special kind of car to transport my family around.

But if you couldn't tell, I don't really think that's what my life is supposed to be about.  (As nice and luxurious as it all sounds.)  I can say that because all you have to do is look at someone's life, and see what they're doing, to get a small idea of what they value and what they aspire to and how they believe they ought to be living.  So me saying that isn't big news at all.  I'm stating the obvious.    

It would seem that my children too are picking up on some themes in our life and internalizing those.  They may not always hold those values, but for now, they do.  They love their siblings, they love the addition of new siblings, and they assume that moms stay home with kids, and dads go to work and empty the dishwasher and do blessings at bed-time.  It's funny (and a little scary) to think of how our kids are being shaped by our homes.  Without us saying a word.  I recently had to explain to my children what daycare is when they heard about it in a movie.  I've had to tell them that not all families have adopted children.  I've also had to tell them that not all families have four or five children, and that it's rude to ask people "Why do you only have _____ kids?"  I generally have a live and let live attitude, but my kids still take their greatest cues from what they see in our family.  Anything outside of what we do is a foreign concept to them.  It's interesting.  And a bit unnerving, because our family is far from perfect.  Not to mention, there is no one-size-fits all formula to follow.

Funny thing is, my kids don't make value judgements about other people.  When they ask why so-and-so doesn't have any Ethiopian children, they're simply genuinely curious.  If you DON'T have adopted children, YOUR children may one day ask why our family has kids from across the globe--or why we have so MANY kids.  (Don't worry, I won't be the least bit offended.  But please don't tell them that I see the world through rose-colored lenses, that I'm a glutton for punishment, or that I'm a hoarder.  :) )

While sometimes this stuff can make for awkward moments, mostly I love that my kids are learning from our family's dynamic and lifestyle.  Truly.  I think it's how it's supposed to be.  When I see my growing-up-ever-so-quickly eldest daughter holding her baby sister, cooing and making her laugh and entertaining her, when she feeds her baby food or changes the occasional diaper or patiently waits for something or other while I try to get a fussy baby calmed down, I think about what a great mama she will make one day.  God is forming her heart and shaping her values and teaching her a whole lot about baby care, right here in her own home.

It's beautiful to watch.

And I love my front row seat.

What I'm thinking about: the gift of time

I'm loving this post today.  Love, love, loving it.

Because it's thought-provoking.  And real.

My sons came home from Ethiopia at 16-months-old.  They'd been institutionalized for all but a month and a half of that (when they were still with their birth mother.)  So, most of their lives had been spent in various orphanages.

Yosef had met all of his developmental milestones so far, pretty much, in spite of his environment.

Biniam had not.

Biniam was not walking.  Neither boy was talking.  Biniam had low muscle tone.  We would occasionally wonder if something more was "wrong."

People would often recommend that I get them into speech therapy...have Biniam evaluated...get some early intervention...get them caught up.

But something in me said, "wait".

Something in me said that what my sons needed was a mother, and a father, and a big sister. 

Something in me said that my sons needed love, and to learn what it means to live in a family, and to be able to truly depend on someone.

I believed the talking could wait.

The walking could wait.

We DID immediately take the necessary steps to fight off parasites, lice, and a double ear infection.  To get the boys healthy.  (Here is where I shall insert my disclaimer that it IS VERY, VERY IMPORTANT to address certain medical needs RIGHT AWAY.  I'm not saying that it's ever okay to ignore things that really need to be dealt with.)

But I was in no rush to stick my sweet little boys in multiple therapies...yet another revolving door of adults casually traipsing in and out of their lives.  They were 16 months old.  They'd only been exposed to limited English in the first place...so why SHOULD they be speaking it yet?

I would often tell people that we were waiting.  That I would give my sons time.  Part of me wondered if they thought I was a bad mom for not signing my kids up for various therapies, but the other part of me didn't care if people thought that.  :)

The thing was, I made the choice not to care if my son walked later than your son did.  (And he probably did.  Now the kid won't sit still.  Go figure.)  Or if my kids weren't talking as early as yours were.  My sons' first adoptive family decided they didn't want to parent my boys based on the fact that they weren't "where they should be" developmentally.  Well, I'm sorry, but they spent their early life being cared for by nannies, amidst lots of other needy children.  I'm so grateful that they ended up in an orphanage where they were loved and fed, but at the same time, it is not a family--where optimal development happens.

We're watching a documentary right now about a set of twins where one of the little girls was born with a particular special need, and the other was not.  This family didn't have any other children, and were able to devote tons of resources to early intervention.  In spite of her needs, this little girl was doing all sorts of amazing things not much later than a typical child might.  Pretty amazing.  At the same time, the reality is that not all of us have that situation.  We may have (several) other children to care for, bills to pay, places we need to be.  I wonder if we need to guard ourselves from making our child a "project" of sorts...setting our standards so incredibly high, deciding what is NORMAL and devoting every ounce of our strength to bring a child to that level.

I'm processing through these things because we just finished up our homestudy and soon will be able to look at files of waiting children in Ethiopia.  We are currently considering adopting a child/children with  the same need as the sweet girl in the documentary.  This is new territory for us in the sense that I had never imagined us pursuing this type of adoption, until God began speaking (whispering, really) to our hearts over the past several months.  I'm excited.  But nervous.  I've been doing a bit of reading and research about it and it's definitely something where we would potentially have lots of decisions to make in this area.

Don't get me wrong, I believe as a parent it is my responsibility to help my kids reach their God-given potential.  But I wonder what type of potential we should be shooting for?  Sure I could enroll my kids in top-notch gymnastics training programs for eight hours a day and try to help them become really great, world-class gymnasts, but at some point, I think you need to accept the fact that a child is a child.  They need love, a stable home life, attention, time with you and with their siblings.  If I have a child who is not overly gifted in math, or reading, or art, that is okay.  They are gifted in other ways.  I probably won't go overboard trying to get them proficient in calculus by the fifth grade, but I WILL do what I can to ensure they can do the math that they need for college and for life.  Meeting challenges is good.  Trying to force everyone into the same mold, at the cost of relationship and fun and childhood, is not so good in my opinion.

When adopted children come home, they need to feel safe.  They need to adjust.  To attach.  My sons certainly did.  As they began to acclimate to our family and take ownership of their new life, their milestones came naturally.  Had they not, we would have certainly pursued some type of intervention.  But it turns out we didn't have to, and I'm glad we didn't wear ourselves (and our kids) out by doing those things prematurely, when they weren't necessary.  (If you know my boys, you will be surprised that there was ever a time when they weren't talking!)

We will do whatever it takes for ANY of our children to succeed and thrive in life.  For some children, this may involve a bit more work, or intervention, or resources.  I'm prepared for that.  But we need to remember that sometimes, for an adopted child, the best gifts that you can give them are yourself, and time. 

Sometimes I love...

...the sound of an anonymous child crying somehwere in the distance, because I get to think to myself, "THAT'S a crying child that I'M not responsible for!"  Heehee.  (Sorry.  I know that was random.  And totally rude and horrible.  But it's a little bit true.)

Moving on.  Before I divulge any other less-than-stellar character traits to all of you.

 

Right now we're enjoying having my dad here for the week!  (Mom didn't come this trip.)  We haven't seen my parents since Christmastime and, while we talk on the phone regularly, it's just not the same.  My kids are soaking it all in and I am too.  Thankfully my mom and dad are planning to retire here in a year or so, so that makes the distance a little more bearable.  We were only an hour's drive away from them before we left California.  Now we are 18 hours away.  Boo.

Unfortunately my kids are sick with yucky colds.  (Why they decided to get sick right when Grandpa showed up I have no clue.)  They're still having a blast, but they are SO much more emotional and whiny cranky easily upset when they don't feel well.  Add to THAT the "my-grandparents-are-here-and-therefore-I'm-extremely-distracted-and-also-therefore-I-don't-have-to-obey-my-mom" mentality that takes over and, well, you have some major chaos in these here parts.    

I don't like chaos.

 

But I LOVE having my dad here even if my kids are making me angry, and boy am I going to miss him when he goes back home next week.  Still on our to-do list: the zoo and the mountains.  Today was Wal-Mart (where each kid got to choose a new toy or two), lunch with Kevin at Quizno's, and some sight-seeing.  We've also taken a drive to show him where the kids' school program is.  Add to that his creative, funny bedtime stories for the kids (which will include M&Ms as a prop tonight), some classic SNL and Seinfeld watching after the kids go to bed, and great conversation. 

Yes indeed, we're having a great time!

Laughing at "Matt Foley", the "motivational speaker".  Oh my, how we were laughing.  So.very.funny.

Grandpa playing "stuffed animals" with the girls.  He did a great voice.  He is officially WAY better than me at engaging in make-believe.  Love it!

My littles

My three biggest kids will all be at their school-for-homeschooled-kids-program on Thursdays this year.

From 8:30 to 3:30. 

That means that I will have one full day per week with just my two youngest kiddos.

Lots of time with Kaitlyn Jane and Mary Lucille.

I.can't.wait.

There will be ice cream cones.  Meeting Daddy for lunch.  Grabbing coffee with girlfriends.

Wintry days spent at home having tea parties and sipping hot chocolate with two of the sweetest little girls on the planet.

I'm excited.

(And yes, I'm wearing shorts in the above photo.  You just can't see them because of all the cuteness occupying my lap.  But they're there.  And I wanted to let you know, just in case you thought maybe I made a habit of going places without pants.)

Boys to men

We recently attended our neighborhood's annual picnic in the park--live jazz band, free face-painting and balloons for the kids, and free homemade ice cream from Pajama Baking Company (the cutest nearby coffee/ice cream/pastry/sandwich shop--I can walk there from my house!  I sometimes meet a girlfriend there for coffee and scones, although I really think I need to try some of their other food because it looks positively amazing.) 

The above picture cracks me up because it reflects Yosef and Biniam's relationship and respective personalities well.  (The face-paint actually reflects their temperaments too.  Maybe that has something to do with the fact that the face-painter was a psychic.  No joke.  A full-time psychic.  Well, when she's not painting faces, apparently.)

It's hard to believe that my sons are already five years old...nearly SIX years old...and they are just seeming so grown up to me lately.  They unload the groceries from my car and bring them into the house.  They help Kevin move furniture and work on household projects.  They look after their younger sisters.  They do laundry.  They can write their names.  They're about to start Kindergarten.  Sheesh.

It's also hard to believe that my sons were, at one time, living in an orphanage.  Unfathomable, really.  Because they're my sons, and their life in Ethiopia seems a lifetime away.  They're growing up, and growing into some pretty awesome young men.  Having adopted children is such a deep, tangible reminder of God's hand on an individual life, on an individual child's life.  If I stop to think about it, and I do on occasion, I know that who my children are has something to do with me, but not everything.  Not even close, actually.  My boys have kind and compassionate hearts, but I certainly wasn't there to comfort them and love them and teach them to love for those fourteen-plus months that they spent in three different orphanages.  God has brought them so far and has, in so many ways, protected their sweet, tender hearts.  Kept them believing that they deserve love, and that they have love to give.  He gave them hope.

And they are growing up. 

And I am not sure how I feel about the whole matter.

But time won't stand still (even though it feels like it when you're in WalMart buying school supplies, and your tired nine-month-old is screaming and crying while you're frantically searching for a pack of twenty-four number-two pencils that are already sharpened, and your three year old has decided to take off her rainboots that she insisted on wearing on a sunny, 90-degree-day), and I am just so excited about who my boys are becoming.  Someday they'll be men.  Today they're still boys.  But they're growing up.

So I'm savoring the moments and delighting in these last days before Kindergarten begins, and enjoying my helpful, happy, love-filled sons.  I don't fancy myself a great "mom-to-boys" (perhaps another topic for another time?  Do YOU feel like you're better at parenting one gender over another?  Yes, definitely worthy of its own blogpost), but I'm finding such joy these days in raising my young men.  Boys are different than girls, and there are some unique amazing-ness-es (yes that is a word, because I just made it up) to be found in having sons.

Especially when they're as much fun as Yosef and Biniam are. 

And now I need to go indulge in candy and soda some sort of comfort food, because just remembering our day at Walmart has me stressed out all over again.  I DID eventually find the pencils.  I did NOT find some type of pen that I couldn't find last year either.  Hopefully the homeschool program won't notice.  I guess I'll keep looking.  Mary eventually fell asleep in the Ergo and Kaitlyn put her boots back on before we went out to the parking lot--but on the wrong feet. 

Yeah, okay, I'm heading for the fridge.

Lake day (or, four-out-of-five ain't bad)

We recently spent the day at the Chatfield Reservoir with family.  It was so fun!  (Kaitlyn and Biniam seem pretty thrilled at least!)  There was a nice little swim beach where the kids splashed, played, and dug in the sand.  I pretty much sat on the shore and enjoyed the sun and good company.  Oh, and worked to keep needing-a-nap Mary happy.

Speaking of Mary, here she is in her shade tent, all smiles because (as you can see from her messy face) she was eating one of her faves, pureed garbanzo beans + olive oil.  She makes me so, so happy.  I love this little bug!

This is Anna in between her two cousins, Aubrey (on the left) and Ainsley (on the right).  My kids LOVE getting to see their cousins, and it's pretty sweet that we only live forty minutes away from them now (as opposed to 18 hours, back when they lived here and we lived in California.)

I don't know who Biniam thinks he is, but he was sure enjoying the good life when I snapped this photo.  Kicked back in an innertube, floating away, not a care in the world.  Oh, to be a kid again!

For some reason I don't have any pictures of Yosef to share from our day!  (This seems to happen when you have five children.  So if you have one child, and you have photographed him or her meeting every single milestone (and you artfully display them in a big fat baby book filled with lots of memories and anecdotes), you are not allowed to judge.  Four-fifths of my children captured on camera is a definitive success in my book.)  I can assure you that he was there as well, digging lots of holes and filling them with water.  He is an extremely focused child and does great with detail work.  So he got really into those holes.  (He of course also had a ton of fun IN the water, too.)

Have I mentioned I love summertime in Colorado?  :)  I think I maybe have.  My formerly-California-kids, sadly, are no longer fifteen minutes from the ocean, but they seemed blissfully happy at the lake with their cousins.  I love doing fun stuff like this, and knowing that my kids are making memories and building relationships that will last a lifetime!

7 Quick Takes Friday {#7}

I'm taking my cue from my much-more-organized-than-me friend Jennifer, and having an "organization" theme for today's "7 Quick Takes."  (Seriously, go to her blog.  She has such pretty pictures to go with her post!  And her house is so cute.  As in, I've actually been there and know this person in real life, even though I may or may not have met her on the internet first.) 

1.)  This week some sort of organizing-bug hit and I spent yesterday afternoon cleaning out our mess of a bedroom closet and our coat closet.  I got all of Anna's schoolwork she did at the homeschool program she attends, and organized it by subject in a $1, 5 pocket file I picked up at Target.  The day before that I cleaned out what used to be the guestroom, and what will now function as Mary Lu's room, and got my homeschool stuff organized on the bookshelf in our schoolroom.  I also found some over-the-door hooks for the girls' bedroom that now hold bathing suits and a backpack  (for $2.50.  Can you tell I love the dollar section at Target?!)  I am generally too lazy and unmotivated to dig in and organize, but when the fancy strikes, I run with it!

2.)  Now I'm in a dilemna over what to do with kids' shoe storage.  We have a rubbermaid container with drawers in our coat closet, and each child has a drawer for their respective shoes.  The thing is though that this particular container is large, and awkward in that space, and I'm not really a fan.  I'm wondering if it would be better for each child to have their own basket/bin/something-from-the-Target-dollar-section to keep his or her own shoes in, in their bedroom.  Of course THAT leads to the issue of, my kids' rooms are small.  Homes built in 1912, and added onto in the 1970's, don't have big, huge, sprawling bedrooms with lots of space for shoes.  Bedrooms are mostly for sleeping anyhow so I'm really (usually) okay with somewhat cramped quarters.  But the shoes.  Yosef and Biniam have a good-sized closet so I could find space in there.  Anna and Kaitlyn, however, have a shallow closet with not very much room.  They have toy bins under their beds, although I might be able to fit another shoe bin underneath.  How do YOU store your kids' shoes?

3.)  Speaking of under-bed storage, we de-bunked our boys' beds last night and moved their old, rickety dresser that recently fell over on Yosef into the original, un-finished part of our basement.  I can now use that for storage of linens, etc. (YAYYY!!!!) and I've decided to put all of their clothes in shallow bins under their beds (one for shirts, one for pants, etc.).  We've been doing that with PJs for a long time now, and they are able to manage their clothing really well that way.  (They put away their own laundry.)  The dresser however always got too full, and things were just stuffed in there and it fell on top of Yosef...basically they showed themselves a lot more capable of maintaining order with a bin under their bed than with a dresser, so for now, that's what we'll do.

4.)  Our garage STILL needs desperate, desperate attention.  It is a mess.  It looks like a tornado came through and deposited a lot of random stuff all over the place.  We don't park in there (it's detached, and there's no room, because of all of our junk) and we probably won't even when it's cleaned out and organized.  We'd like to use it for storage, but we really need to go through and get everything situated/thrown away/sold on Craigslist.  My main thing is, we have an extra fridge out there that I'd like to plug in and start using.  Kevin doesn't want to do this, but I'm tired of my kitchen fridge being so full of stuff that it's a pain to get to anything.  We buy four (!) gallons of milk at a time, and until two of those gallons are gone, things are pretty tight.  Anytime I have a party and need to chill drinks, it's a nightmare too.  (As if I entertain or throw parties more than about three times a year.  But I can pretend.)  The other day I made a peanut butter chocolate pie that had to be refrigerated, and I was barely able to make room.  SO I really look forward to utilizing that garage refrigerator.  Kevin will come around.  I just know it.  (We have a huge industrial-ish freezer down in our basement that is WONDERFUL.  It was even more wonderful before I accidentally knocked something frozen into the lightbulb and killed the light.)

5.)  One of the hardest things for me to stay on-top-of around here is clothing my kids have outgrown.  We keep it all because we have five children, and Anna's things become Kaitlyn's things which will eventually become Mary's things.  Someday we may have more boys, so we keep Yosef and Biniam's old clothes too.  But it is so hard to maintain order of all this stuff!  We do have some organized bins out in our garage, but I need to do some more sorting and get some more bins.  Darn.  That doesn't sound very fun.  Part of me would LOVE to just donate all the clothes to the ARC, but honestly, this whole hand-me-down thing saves us a lot of money and hassle.  (Well, I suppose I'm trading one hassle for another.)  So I will keep going with it.  Even if it kills me.  And it might.

6.)  I'm also attempting to find a good place to store a large printer/copier/scanner.  This thing is a behemoth.  I'm so glad that we received it free-of-charge from Kevin's aunt, because we really needed one, but where shall I put it?  I'd like to have it actually set up for use, as opposed to just storing it and then having to lug it around when I want to use it.  I'm THINKING maybe I should put it in the guestroom.  Then I can move the laptop in there when I need to print or whatever.  I have an old changing table in that room that it MIGHT actually fit on.  We will see.

7.)  Today I'm hoping to get to Walmart to pick up school supplies and lunch boxes for my soon-to-be-kindergartner-sons!  They're so excited!  I found them backpacks recently but they still need lunchboxes.  (Anna of course still has her backpack and lunchbox from last year.)  Last August when we got school stuff, we made a fun morning of it and then met Kevin for lunch.  Hoping to do the same today, although I still need to make a list of what we need and also, you know, get the five kids fed, ready and out the door.  No small feat.  But if we go out to lunch, I get to have a soda.  So I'm thinking we'll do it!

These two

Kaitlyn and Biniam.
Biniam and Kaitlyn.

They crack.me.up.

For as long as I can remember, they've been super, super close.  Biniam adores Kaitlyn, and she adores him.  They spend a lot of time together, and have all manner of spats.  I won't tell you who wins...but let's just say that it's the three-year-old, NOT the five-year-old.  :)

Anyway, I love these pictures that I took at Costco one afternoon.  Because they capture their relationship and companionship pretty well.  One thing I've observed about growing up in a large-ish family is that there is lots (and lots) of laughter.  Which is good for the soul.  That, and your best friends live with you.  Also good for the soul.

I'll never forget bringing Kaitlyn home from the hospital to one big sister and TWO big brothers.  And seeing the friendships blossom.  Kaitlyn and Biniam have shared a special bond from the time they met.  And it makes this mama very, very happy!  (Even though they fight, and even though Kaitlyn may or may not occasionally push Biniam around, forcing me to intervene.)

Out

We spent Father's Day with family this year and got to swim, too.  Pool-time apparently coincided with nap-time, as Mary Lu fell asleep in this little flotation device not too long after getting in.  So, so sweet.

Naptime at our house is different than it used to be.  When my three oldest kids were younger, I had a glorious, silent two-hour window in the middle of the day.  No one needed me.  I could sleep myself if I wanted to.  Bliss.

Now, Mary is my only daily napper.  We do observe "quiet time", yet I miss the days of yore in certain ways, when everyone in the house was sleeping, except for me.  (Well, sometimes I was too!)

I think we'll probably always try to have some sort of scheduled down-time in the middle of the day, when we're home.  Doesn't matter how old you are, it's nice to have some peace and quiet and time to just "be."  Whether it's spent reading, quietly playing alone, watching a movie, or just resting, I'm a huge fan of a good old-fashioned, mid-afternoon siesta.

Because I figure if it's good for Mary Lu, it must be good for all of us!

7 Quick Takes Friday {#6}

1.)  I got sunburned yesterday at the lake.  (Reservoir, actually, but "lake" just sounds better.)  Big-time.  Especially on my feet and ankles.  Why do I do this to myself every single summer?  For some reason I just assume I WON'T get sunburned, and not for any logical reason, but "just because."  How ridiculous is that?  Other than my painful ankles and feet, we had a lot of fun.  My kids played in the sand and splashed in the water with their sweet little cousins.  I brought a shade tent thingy for Mary Lu and overall, she did really well.  (She did get pretty fussy a few times--the bright sun combined with missed naps did not a happy baby make.  But we managed.)  Colorado, as you can imagine, has some fantastic state parks.  This particular one is actually not terribly far from my house.  I love that I live in the city but can be in the beautiful wilderness within thirty minutes or so.

2.)  We went to Costco on Wednesday and (among other things, most of which were purchased in bulk) I bought a bathroom scale.  Interestingly, we did not own one and I wanted to be able to track Mary's weight on my own over the next few weeks.  This scale has thus far brought much amusement and entertainment to our home.  Who knew that weighing yourself, weighing your baby, weighing yourself before nursing said baby and then weighing yourself afterwards to see how much milk she had, could be so darn fun?  It's hilarious.  We are addicted to using this scale.  All of us.  It's the little things.

3.)  On the same Costco trip I had a coupon for some bottled iced tea.  This seemed like it had the potential to be a good purchase--we do a lot of picnic park days and I thought I could procure a fun drink to bring along.  Yesterday I took one to the lake...and took a drink...and oh my goodness, WHY are they mass-producing this vile stuff?  YUCK!  SO gross!  I'm not a picky eater, I like most things, I love green iced tea (or any iced tea, really)...but this was disgusting.  And I now have a HUGE case of it in my basement.  I am not a wasteful person.  I know myself well enough to know that I probably won't be able to just dump the stuff in the garbage.  Which means I'll have to drink it.  Ew.  Because I can't just offload it onto naive guests who come to my house.  That would just be too, too mean.  It has caffeine in it, so I really can't even pawn it off on my unsuspecting children.  Which is the normal protocol for food we buy that we don't end up liking.  (Yet another benefit to having kids.)  Shoot. 

4.)  This morning I read an article from a British medical journal that declared home births to be "harmful", associated with a much higher incidence of maternal and fetal death.  Hmmm.  I'm thinking this article did not distinguish between midwife-assisted home births, high-risk pregnancies, etc.  Personally I think home births are fantastic.  Not that I've ever had one, but my labors are fast and uncomplicated, and I think I'd maybe like to have a baby at home someday.  I do believe pain is better managed at home, it's a much more restful environment, and it has the potential to be such a meaningful experience.  Not to mention, and this might be the biggest benefit of all, the midwife model of care is preferable to me.  By the time Mary was born, I'd HAD it with the standard "pregnancy is a medical condition that needs careful monitoring and so we're going to scare you at every single turn" paradigm that my OB was operating under.  It was, by far, the most difficult aspect of the pregnancy.  Placenta previa, Trisomy 18, and transverse breech were all things I was "threatened with."  Two out of the three would have necessitated a C-Section, and one of them would have resulted in the baby's death.  Talk about sucking the joy out of something that is supposed to be a happy, NATURAL, momentous process.  Mary Lu was born roughly two or three hours from the start of active labor, no drugs, healthy as can be.  The doctor and nurses joked about how they loved how "easy" I was.  I was also told by my OB that I "do pregnancy very well."  If that is the case, why the scare tactics?  Why were we worrying about where the placenta was when I was just 20 weeks along?  Or about the cysts on Mary's brain when time and time again that has been found to be a typical part of development?  Why worry about the baby's position when it's not time for her to be born yet?  I know why.  Liability issues.  I was even offered an amniocentesis to see if Mary had Trisomy 18.  Really????  She showed no heart defects, no kidney problems, she was growing...and they offered me a risky procedure.  Ugh.  So, yes, I get a little riled up when the powers-that-be try to say that we ladies NEED doctors and hospitals to do something that women the world over have been doing for millenia.  Don't get me wrong, I'm all for being grateful for the medical care we have access to in our fine country (not to mention all three of my babes have been born in hospitals under the care of a doctor), but the C-Section rate in the Western world is HORRIBLE and I think a shift TOWARDS a midwife/homebirth model would be a good thing.  Regardless of what the British say.

5.)  My breakfast selections for my kids are seasonal--is that weird?  They eat oatmeal and fruit every.single.day. Fall through Spring, rain (well, snow) or shine.  In the summer though, we've been doing bagels and cream cheese with our fruit.  I think it's because it's just way too hot--yes, even by breakfast-time--to even THINK about oatmeal.  They also eat eggs a couple of times a week, with whatever else they're having.  But yeah, no oatmeal in the summer.

6.)  I ordered some homeschool materials online weeks ago and they STILL have not showed up at my door.  Every day I get so excited at the prospect of them coming, and still they don't come.  I'm such an impatient person (and, let's face it, I'm excited about what I ordered!  The thing is, I ordered them off of half.com, and so they're shipped "media mail", which can take a bit of time.)  I bought Story of the World Vol. I and then the activity book too.  I really am so excited about these, and about studying ancient history this year with my kiddos.  I have big plans to do a field trip to a Denver museum and see some real mummies when we're studying King Tut.  So fun!  (The museums here have free days for Colorado residents periodically.  Pretty sweet.)  Hard to believe, but I am so looking forward to this upcoming school year!

7.)  I'm also gearing up to buy another annual family pass to the Denver Zoo.  We bought one our first year here, then last year didn't renew it, but I think we'll get it going again this year.  I love the zoo, and my kids love it too.  Such a fun place to go kill time and there are some great animals there.  I wonder how old kids are when they stop liking the zoo?  Do they EVER stop liking it?  I'm an adult, and I like it.  At any rate I think we'll do the zoo again this year.  For our family, the pass pays for itself in about two visits.  :) 

Just dropping in to say hi

Blogging has been light this week.  It seems I've hardly had the time or energy, between park days and swimming at the pool and grocery shopping and going to the movies and organizing some of my kitchen cupboards.

Today we're off to a state park to go swimming at a beach with my sister-in-law and her mom and my nieces.  Summer is so much fun, and so very busy.  A good reprieve from the school-year routine (yes even us homeschoolers have a routine!) but it also makes me appreciate our days spent at home with things to learn and do.  I suppose that is what I love about seasons in general--change, variety, and how they make you appreciate and anticipate each different one.  Oh how we looked forward to Summer when the snow was falling, and now I look forward to Fall and school and all that it will bring.  While still loving Summer, of course--it's hard to beat! 

Hopefully you too are enjoying your months of sunshine and water and otterpops out in the backyard.  We sure are!  And I am planning to get back into the blogging routine ASAP.  More to come soon!

My little peanut

Mary just had her nine month well-check Thursday morning.  Well-checks around here are usually pretty boring.  None of my children currently have any medical conditions, so these appointments usually amount to me chatting with our pediatrician (who's actually a personal friend) while he examines Mary.  He's a great doctor, and super thorough.  

Anyway, I was really nervous going into this well-check because I suspected that Mary has not been gaining much, if any, weight.  She is TINY.  Anna was small too, but Mary is REALLY small.  Anyway, on my way out the door I quickly glanced at her stats from her 6 month checkup, so I'd know right when they weighed her if she'd made any gains.  Thirteen pounds, six ounces.  (I told you she is small.)  I made a mental note and hurried to the car.

I set Mary on the scale in the little room, and watched with complete and utter dismay as the digital numbers settled on...thirteen pounds, six ounces.  The medical assistant actually re-weighed her, just to make sure.  Still it remained.

And so we waited for the doctor to come in.  I fidgeted, and tried not to worry, but my chest felt tight.  What was the doctor going to say?  Was he going to freak out?  Did I wait too long to start solids?  Is my baby girl completely undernourished?  Am I the world's worst mom?  Is my daughter sick?  I picked up a book from the basket with some bugs on the front, titled "Think Big",  for Mary to look at.  As my friend the doctor came through the door, he greeted us and noted the title of the book, and said encouragingly, "That's what you gotta do, Mary!  Think big!"

My fears that the doctor was going to report me to CPS immediately vanished.  I quickly told him that I was concerned, and not sure what was going on, and that maybe she hadn't been getting enough or something, although she hadn't seemed dissatisfied...but he assured me that it wasn't anything I did wrong, and that there are all sorts of potential reasons why she hasn't gained, and said that he wants me to up her caloric intake and that she'll come back in for a weight check in three weeks.  He doesn't expect her to make any huge gains in that time, but even just an ounce or two would show that she's able to put on the weight.  If there ISN'T a change, then he'll order some labwork to see if she has some sort of disorder or developmental issue.

They did check her iron levels at this appointment, and they were excellent.  She's not anemic or anything, and that is good. 

She's meeting developmental milestones.  That is good too.

I know in my head that:

we just recently began solids

Mary began crawling about four months ago

Mary stopped nursing at night within the last three months

and that all of those things could contribute to this.  I ALSO know that Kaitlyn completely fell off her growth curve at six months old as well--she actually LOST twelve ounces (!)--but she was a huge baby so, while it was strange, it wasn't as big a deal.

But my mommy heart worries. 

Over the past several days we've gotten into a routine of solids three times per day, lots of nursing of course, and the consumption of many calories.  The doctor has me adding olive oil and butter to the veggies and legumes that Mary is eating.  She's having yogurt (made from whole milk) and I'm trying to convince her that cottage cheese is a good thing.  She's gobbling it all up and whether she has a disorder or not, I think she was not getting enough calories just from breastmilk as of late.  I'm hoping that's all it is.  If it's not, well, Mary Lu is happy and sweet and truly a gift.  We'll get it figured out.  Nobody wishes for something to be less than pefect with their child, but life is less than perfect, and all I have to do is look at Mary's chubby toes or big ol' lopsided smile to see that she is just as she should be, no matter what.  "Perfect" is relative anyhow.

All of the staff at our pediatrician's office are super sweet.  There's one assistant in particular who is just in love with Mary.  She calls her "peanut" because, well...Mary is roughly the size of a peanut.  :)  This woman is always so over-the-top excited to see Mary Lu.  "Hi peanut!"  she'll say.  And as she was loving on Mary this particular day, I felt comfort knowing that my baby girl is right where she should be.  I don't like having doubts and questions and concerns about my little ones, but it's also a great reality check to remember who is really in control (God), who is the giver of all good things (God), and how much of a blessing a child is no matter what they may face in this life.

Most likely Mary is just fine.  Maybe she's not.  Maybe none of it matters when she's giggling, grabbing for my food, or zipping around on her hands and knees chasing after her siblings.  She's got a whole lot of sweetness packed into her little nine-month-old-self.  And for a mama, that's what counts--because who doesn't love a cute little peanut?

7 Quick Takes Friday {#6}

Better late than never, right?  You can do your own and link up at Conversion Diary!

1.)  I was on an elevator yesterday and immediately knew what my first Quick Take would be for the week.  See here's the thing about me and elevators: when I get on, and the elevator starts going up, or down, and the doors eventually open...I get off.  Doesn't matter if it's not my destination yet and the doors are only opening for someone ELSE to get on or off.  I just leave.  I walk right through those doors.  And of course once I realize my mistake, I'm way too embarrassed to hop right back on with the rest of the people I just left.  So I pretend that I'm actually supposed to be on that floor, and then go back and wait for the elevator to take me where I'm actually supposed to go.  Something is really wrong with me, I know. 

2.)  Yesterday morning I was flipping around the radio stations in the car and landed on one where two DJs on a Christian station were ARGUING.  Yes, arguing!  I guess a song had just played where the lyrics talked about how great God is, and the one DJ said he didn't like it--that it was real arrogant, and taunting people who didn't believe in God.  The OTHER DJ was sooooo flabbergasted by this and immediately began throwing scriptures around, saying the song was Biblical...oh my goodness it was hilARious.  So funny.  The way the one DJ was defending the song lyrics, you'd think he was concerned about the other DJ's salvation.  Maybe he was.  The whole thing just made me chuckle because mainstream evangelical Christian culture is seriously hysterical sometimes.  Really, really funny.  ALSO on the Christian station, they talked about how some publication just reported that some secret drawings of the brain stem were discovered in Michelangelo's work.  THEN the DJ went on to talk about how much of Michelangelo's art is risque, but the station's website had some of his SAFE art to look at, that even the kids could see.  Um...REALLY??!!  It's Michelangelo!  It's classic art!  We all have bodies.  Have we really not moved past, oh, I don't know, 8th grade?  Oh man.  I got a good laugh out of this as well.  (And yes, I do regularly laugh at the K-LOVE DJs.  I am a terrible person.)

3.) I just started reading Donald Miller's A Million Miles in a Thousand Years at the recommendation of a friend.  I'm LOVING it!  It's my first Donald Miller book I've read, though I did skim parts of Blue Like Jazz (which SEEMED perhaps a bit overhyped for what the content was).  Anyway, the book is great so far.  I love the idea of life as a story, of God entrusting each of us with a unique and potentially amazing story to live, but that a good story will involve facing and overcoming great conflict.  And, the author makes me laugh.  He's pretty funny.

4.) My kids didn't attend VBS this summer.  I think I feel a little guilty about it.  But they went last year, and we received some extremely offensive and awkward comments about our family size, and our adopted sons, from the people putting on the VBS, so I didn't want to go back there...and our neighborhood VBS is really expensive.  (Honestly, I think charging money for VBS is ridiculous.  I know materials cost money, but please don't call it "outreach" when it is no less than $20 per child.)  So, no VBS.  I'm moving past the guilt though because my goodness, we can't do it all.  I find that there are just so many opportunities for activities and we really have to cut out what isn't essential for us.  Apparently this summer, that was VBS.  (And swim lessons.  More guilt.)  Maybe next year we can get back into it.

5.)  My kids have been playing happily, looking at books, coloring, and jumping on the trampoline all morning.  It is really nice to have a day at home.  It's been a busy summer--filled with great things--but we seem to all go sideways if we don't have a handful of stay-at-home-days in there too.  Some of this is for my own sanity.  I'm a hermit an introverted homebody and during the winter, I will go days at a time without leaving my house.  This does not bother me in the least.  I have no trouble staying busy with five children to raise, a home to keep, books to read, and a computer to use.  I'm just one of those people who doesn't get bored.  This may be the strangest thing about me--if not, it's definitely up there.  I don't know why exactly I'm like this, but some of it probably has to do with growing up out in the country and not constantly going places.  I never took dance (well that's not ENTIRELY true, I did do a two-week dance program through city rec once and I was awful, but hey I had a good time), or karate, or sports (I'm not athletic at ALL, so this was probably for the best.)  I found other stuff to do, read a lot, spent time with family and friends, came up with imaginative play, and I loved Barbies.  I also swam a lot at the community pool.  All of that to say, I never developed a need to be entertained and I have a low threshold for fun, meaning I am amused quite easily.  This probably helps explain why, when we receive our year-end breakdown of spending on our credit card statement, the "entertainment" category shows pretty much zero dollars.  (I apparently married someone like this too.)

6.)  I was reading through old blogposts today and I have to say, I miss when my kids were smaller.  The days when Anna was 3, and Kaitlyn was a baby, and Yosef and Biniam were 2, oh my goodness those were some crazy and fun times.  I refuse to be that person who claims the past was better, but oh how I miss it all.  Well, I miss MOST of it.  (Three children in diapers wasn't always the most fun.)  And yet, getting to know my kids more and more as they grow and mature is pretty amazing too.  Time just keeps marching on and things change each day, even if it is so gradual that you can't see it.  I have loved each stage of my kids' lives, but there was something really magical about life with three toddlers, and then three toddlers and a baby.

7.)  We were up WAY too late last night watching a {certain} show on DVD from the library.  We are working our way through the series (which is not being made anymore).  No, I'm not telling you what show it is, because I'm afraid someone will spoil it for me.  (Apparently I have trust issues.)  But suffice it to say that we are completely hooked on and addicted to this show!  I'm always thinking about it, and wondering how it will all end, what else we will discover, etc.  So today I'm sleepy, but it was worth it for sure, because Breyer's cookies-and-cream ice cream and watching ______ with my husband makes for a great evening.  (And yes we continue our tradition of not really seeing any current TV shows.  I seriously think most of what is on TV is ridiculous.  Back when I had mono (nearly two years ago) I watched a lot of TV and it killed me how lame most of it was.  It helps pass the time I suppose (especially when you're too weak and tired to do anything else), but I am consistently amazed at how many shows are on and the sheer number of people who watch them.  Especially the random, trashy comedy-type shows.  Or any of the shows on the CW or WB or whatever that station is called now.  All these teen shows about vampires and scantily-clad girls who gossip.  PUH-LEASE.  And YES I am aware that I'm eighty years old at heart.  Grumpy and disapproving of pop culture and all that it stands for.  Oh and we don't pay for cable or satellite, we just have an antennae we set up sometimes.  Yet another reason I'm actually an elderly person in disguise: we don't keep up with new technology!  If you're up for a game of shuffleboard, you should come on by.)   

Kitchen re-do

I wanted to update you on our kitchen cabinet re-do.  I feel funny posting pictures of my home, as if it's so grand and exciting that it needs to be seen.  Because it's really, really not.  That being said, I'm excited about how the cabinets turned out, and I think that if you're looking for an inexpensive alternative to a remodel, painting is a great way to go.  (Note that I did not paint them, Kevin did.  It was my idea though.  While I'm not good at painting, I'm great at coming up with project ideas for my husband.)

So, without further ado,

Before:

After:

We used Behr's "Beluga" from Home Depot, and sanded the cabinets and drawers a bit first.  The project took several hours but I am so, so happy with the results.  Our backsplash and counters look so much better, too, against the black.  (The "before" photo was actually taken before we even BOUGHT this house, so I'd already painted, we obviously have different furniture, and our appliances are stainless steel now.  We also no longer have that flying-saucer-ish light fixture above our dining room table, although now with the popularity of mid-century modern, I'm kinda wishing I'd kept it and spray-painted it a fun color.  Oh well.)

I'm really glad we didn't opt to remodel the entire kitchen (there are much better uses for that much money), or even resurface the cabinets.  I'm also happy that we went with black instead of white, which had been my other idea.  I'm still wanting to paint the kitchen orange (to match the dining area) instead of the bluish gray I originally painted in there.  But for now I'm just so happy to have black cabinets!

Mary Lu and I are quite thrilled here.  Oh okay, I am quite thrilled, and Mary doesn't really care all that much.  Because she's just a baby.  But someday, she too might move into an old house with some quirky issues that need desperate attention.  And then she'll be pleased as punch when, little by little, her diamond in the rough starts living up to its potential.  There's something really neat about making improvements to your home especially when your husband does most of the work.  A big thank you to Kevin for his mad painting skills and for humoring me in yet another "let's do this to our house, and by let's I mean you" endeavor.

Now for the next project: closet doors and window treatments for our bedroom!  No, we do not currently have doors on our closet.  At all.  And no, our current blinds in that room do not work properly and the cords are a tangled mess because they're broken.  And they're horribly ugly.  Yes, we've been living here for 2+ years.  But these things take time, and we have five kids, and we HAVE done a ton of work already.  So we live with random less-than-ideal-nesses.  It's kind of like a brotherhood you're initiated into when you live in Denver.  Everyone is working on SOMEthing in their home.  Home Depot and Lowes are like old friends.  Nobody bats an eye when your basement is in shambles or, in this case, when your closet has no doors. 

But I have my cabinets now.  So it's all good.

True love

I have shared before about my love for soda.  Diet Coke, Root Beer and Dr. Pepper are my favorites.  Yum. 

In the past, soda was a take-it-or-leave-it thing for me.  I actually went a few years without having any, really.  Then I got pregnant with Anna, and craved Root Beer like there was no tomorrow.  Over the years, my little love affair with the carbonated goodness continued, and during my most recent pregnancy, with Mary, things really got kicked up a notch.

Thank goodness for McDonalds, and their $1 large sodas.  I have indulged in this treat many a time in the last several months.  (Soda is soooo much better from a fountain.)  Oh and I know, I know, we're all supposed to hate McDonalds...and their mass marketing of junk food to small, impressionable children...and their adding random meat flavoring to their french fries...and the fact that their food is chemically engineered in a laboratory by scientists.  I get that.  But where else can you get a HUGE fountain drink for $1 while your kids play on an indoor playground?  AND, their sweet tea is super yummy too.  LOVE IT.

See, here I am enjoying some Dr. Pepper on a nice sunny afternoon. 

Look how happy I am!  How can McDonalds be so wrong when it feels so right?

Soda, friends, is not good for you.  It contains copious amounts of sugar, and chemicals, and leaches calcium from your bones.  It dehydrates you and rots your teeth.

But.

{It makes me happy.} 

The thought of an ice-cold fountain drink is enough to get me through the morning when I know I have one waiting for me in the afternoon.  Is this pathetic?  Maybe.  Absolutely.  Whatever.  Sometimes the simplest of pleasures in life are the best.  I really don't have any vices...except for soda.  Which I consume, on average, probably twice per week.

Perhaps one day I'll bid farewell to this particular indulgence in the name of health, but for now, I'm okay with it.  Oh alright, I'm MORE than okay with it.  

I love soda.

And sweet tea.

Love, love, love.

I'm lovin' it.

And I'm putting it out there on my blog for the world to see. 

Because I refuse to be ashamed that, at age 29, I am hopelessly in love with fountain drinks.