7 Quick Takes Friday {#9}

1.)  I just made an appointment to see a urologist next Tuesday morning.  Ever since my THIRD kidney stone episode nearly two weeks ago, I've had some ongoing, related symptoms and I think that I have not actually fully passed that stone.  Ugh.  I really hope I don't require some sort of  horrible intervention.  My general way of doing things is to wait stuff out and NOT see a doctor (oh how I hate going to the doctor!), but I'm wanting to know what's going on, if I have more stones to pass etc.  It's a little frustrating because I had a CT scan done in the ER and was told I had no more.  Well, obviously THAT was not the case considering the fact that I passed (or at least partially passed) two more in the following days.  Ever since that first time, I have been drinking water like a madwoman.  I average 9-10 glasses per day.  No joke.  I like the idea that I'm being consistently healthy about what I drink, but I DON'T like the resulting many, many trips to the bathroom that result.  :)


2.)  It feels as though I've lost my homeschooling groove.  To be honest, I think it started when I began having my health issues.  We were in a good routine, but then that got disrupted, and I'm having a hard time getting back into it for some reason.  Ultimately I think I, and the kids, have gotten a bit lazy.  It seems the recipe for a great day or week of homeschooling includes getting up and getting going in the morning, having things done by lunchtime at 11:30 or noon.  But I've been dragging and so have the kids.  I'm planning to change this and reinstitute some structure around here, because I don't like how things are going right now.


3.)  Speaking of kids, my son Biniam won an award at school yesterday!  Each week, one child in his Kindergarten class is chosen to receive this award, which can be earned for various things.  His yesterday was for "always trying your best."  He.was.so.ex.ci.ted.  The MOMENT I showed up in the afternoon, he RACED over to tell me he won an award.  Honestly I was so, so proud of him.  I know all the kids will get one over the course of the year, and it's not the Nobel Peace prize or anything, but honestly...it really meant a lot to him, and made me so happy.  He's a great kid, but due to early childhood trauma that has resulted in some ADHD-ish issues, he can be more distractable than the average Kindergartner (if that's possible!)  He's also not particularly academically advanced.  He'll get there, but it's just not his time yet.  So for him to win an award for always trying his best, well, that makes this mama very, very proud.  It's hard to imagine your child winning an award at school for anything better than that.  Isn't that what we want from all of our kids, afterall?  And, it's true.  Biniam's nothing if not enthusiastic and willing to try.  Thinking about how he began his life and how far he's come makes it all the more sweet.  One of the many major blessings of adoption.


4.)  What is the deal with these Silly Bands?  Do your kids have them?  Do they swap them with friends?  My kids are only at school ONE DAY A WEEK and they are crazy for these!  Anna got one from a friend, Yosef did too, Biniam scored TWO (but gave one away to his buddy yesterday)...what is up?  Where do you even buy these?  It's hilarious because I'd read some article recently about Silly Bands being all the rage and then lo and behold, my own kiddos are coming home proudly sporting them on their wrists.  They want to buy a pack, but yeah, I have no idea where you would get them.  I also have no idea if I want to buy them, because I can only imagine that they would get scattered around my house and make a huge mess.


5.)  Yesterday when we were leaving the kids' school, Biniam said goodbye to--and hugged--a classmate.  Who happened to be a girl.  One thing you need to know about this little guy is, he's quite affectionate.  We used to think he had signs of attachment issues, but I think our attachment is actually okay, he's just a hugger.  We've set some boundaries with him and he's happy to oblige.  Anyway, yesterday when he did that, the girls dad joked to his other kids who were standing there, "We'll have to keep our eye on him" or something like that.  I don't know if he didn't realize I was there, or didn't care if I heard, but I was SO embarrassed.  The dad wasn't mad or anything, but he didn't seem accustomed to friendly people like my son.  Biniam likes having friends and giving them hugs.  It has NOTHING to do with gender or romance.  Really.  I try to remind him to ASK FIRST about the hugging, but being the impulsive child that he is, he sometimes forgets.  If someone isn't wanting the hug, he doesn't force it or anything.  He just happily doles them out.  Funny thing is a couple of weeks ago, a mom told me something like, "I think your son is enamored with my daughter."  I almost burst out laughing.  Really.  I just replied, "Yeah, he's really friendly."  It was funny because this is not someone I know very well, therefore she must have noticed Biniam interacting with her child and ASSUMED that he was really into her.  Which I'm sure he was--it's not that he's insincere--but he treats everyone that way.  Boys too.  His "best friend" in his Kindergarten class is a little boy that he talks about all the time and held hands with at the berry farm.  At any rate, it's all pretty innocent and I wanted to tell the dad, "Look, he's FIVE.  He's friendly.  And tactile.  I can assure you that if he could, he'd be giving out hugs like candy."  Instead I slunk away, making a mental note to tell Biniam NOT to hug kids at school.  Lest people get the wrong idea.  About a five year old.  (Incidentally I myself am NOT a huggy, touch-feely sort of gal.  I think Biniam probably SHOULDN'T be hugging kids at school, because not everyone wants to be hugged or touched.  But to imply that it's anything more than friendliness is just silly.)


6.)  Do you have any plans for the weekend?  I do.  An all-day adoption training tomorrow that I momentarily, blissfully forgot about.  I was about to say I DON'T have plans, but I do.  Bummer.  My wonderful, sweet friend has offered to watch my four bigger kids for us so we can attend.  I am soooo grateful!  It's our last training and we positively have to be there.  I have to tell you that I'll be so happy when it's done.  The adoption agency, which overall we have been less than pleased with, actually does a great job putting these on.  The information, which is for first-time adoptive parents, is excellent.  But it creates such a hardship for us because we have FIVE KIDS.  (And we're NOT first-time adopters.  I could be GIVING these presentations.  NOT because I'm so great, but I've read the books, know the research, and don't need practice responding to people when they say, "where are your kids from?")  So we've had to find people to watch them for the various trainings (well, all except Mary, who comes along, even though our social worker at one point tried to say that might be against the rules and suggested we call the office to find out what we "should do".  I refused.  Mary's still nursing, and is not disruptive, so they can deal with it.  :)  )


7.)  I've gotten more vigilant about bathing my kids lately.  No clue why.  I like having freshly bathed little ones, but by the end of the day, I'm so wiped out.  But I've been making myself be better about it and am so happy.  Now it's more a part of our routine and it doesn't feel like "more work" so much anymore.  ***I need to clarify that I WASN'T neglecting their hygiene previous to this new leaf I've turned over, but if I let a couple of days (or three) go by without a bath, I didn't freak out.  Now though I would, because it's every other day for all five of 'em.  If I could, I'd do it every night, but I'm not ready for that yet.  Maybe soon.  Then I'd be a REAL overachiever.  And I'm really looking forward to when my three oldest can bathe themselves--but so far, Anna is just not competent in getting all the soap rinsed out of her hair, so baths are still a mommy job around here.  And by "bath", I guess I mean shower--all my kids get in the tub, I turn the shower on, and bathe them that way. Well, except for Mary, who gets a regular bath so she can splash and play with the toy sharks.  She loves it!


BONUS 8.)  Yesterday I had some soda (for the first time in weeks).  Which contained caffeine.  (Also the first time I've had it in weeks.)  And, as a result, I had a HORRIBLE night's sleep last night, and felt all anxious.  I hate when I do that!  Seemed like a treat at the time, but then I paid for it later.  Really I'm paying for it TODAY, because I'm EXHAUSTED.  Perhaps a nap is in my future?  Oh, how I hope so!  We were thinking about going to the pumpkin patch today with our homeschool group, but that is just not going to happen.  (I'd already decided against it before I had the rough night's sleep.)  We need a day to be home, I think, re-finding our routine and just relaxing.  Hopefully we can still make it to the pumpkin patch sometime this season!



*If you want to do your own "7 Quick Takes Friday", you can link up over at Conversion Diary.  I hope you have a great Friday!

But I have twins too!

Want to know something really, really strange?

Well, I think it's strange, anyway.

Here's the thing.

I have TWIN SONS.  Twin boys.  I've had these boys since they were 16-months-old.  So, awhile.

And yet...I don't think of myself as HAVING twins.

I never refer to them as twins.

I don't think of myself in the same category as parents of twins.

Ever.

There's a mom at church with twins.  She goes to a twins playgroup.

And not only have I NEVER made the connection that we BOTH have twins, and thus share a relatively rare commonality, but I would NEVER have thought about joining a playgroup for twins.  It would never have occurred to me that one might exist.

What do people talk about at these playgroups?

What am I missing?

I have twins, but I'm not in the club!

Am I an abnormal twin-mom?  Am I SUPPOSED to think of Yosef and Biniam as twins first, human beings second? 

Is it weird that my twins are NOTHING alike, personality-wise?  Or looks-wise? Are these the sorts of things twin-moms discuss over coffee while the kids run around two-by-two?

Maybe if they were identical twins, I'd embrace this identity more.

But I just don't ever think about it.

So there it is.  Something strange for your Thursday. A neurotic mom-to-twins who never thinks about how she's a mom-to-twins.

Field day + sports aversion

A week or so ago my kids' school program held their annual Field Day.  (Yosef was amazing at this event by the way.  Some majorly superhuman strength going on there.)

My kids were so, SO excited.  They bounded out of bed in the morning, and spent some time "practicing racing" in the backyard.  Heehee!

The day itself was great.  I thought the parents who put it together did a great job keeping things moving and organized.  (Check out Anna kicking the soccer ball!)

But oh, was I exhausted. 

Running back and forth between the Kindergarten and First Grade classes, trying not to miss my kids in their events, with a three-year-old and baby in tow, was HARD!  I was so tired!  (Biniam was so excited to start the day.)

But it was worth it.  They loved it.

I have to confess that we have not entered the "sports phase" yet with our children.  None of them, not one, has ever played an organized sport.  Sometimes I feel a little guilty, but mostly I just feel happy when Saturday rolls around and it's a free day to do what we want.  :)  (Kaitlyn loved watching her older sister and brothers!)

When I was growing up, I played t-ball for one season, and that was it.  I didn't do sports.  I'm horribly unathletic and never really felt like I was missing out.  I had other interests I suppose--really exciting stuff like reading, and writing poems.  :)

In junior high, I was involved in student council and choir, and 4-H.  (I was the president of our club.  Ah yeah.  It was actually a lot of fun, although I HATED having to wear the green hat and scarf to lead the meetings.  Heehee!)

By high school, I was participating in choir, 4-H, and FFA.  (Yes, I just admitted to that.  It was awesome and a lot of fun.  Someday I will post about my various exploits, complete with photos of me and my prize-winning pigs and sheep.  Something to look forward to, for sure!)

But not sports.

And, that was okay.

Because I preferred just hanging out with friends and going to their houses after school and eating lots of food.  SO much more fun than running around being active!

I'm all about helping my kids to achieve their potential and explore their interests.  But I'm also all about us sitting around the dinner table each night, together, enjoying a meal.  I'm all about being home and not living out of our car.  I like relaxed weekends that, if anything, involve spending time with people we love.

So I'm honestly not sure where sports will fit into our family.  I'm certain this makes me horribly sexist but I think I feel more compelled to get Yosef and Biniam into Little League or something than I am in putting Anna in sports.  Weird, I know.  And I want to say I'm not AGAINST sports, or against spending the weekend at the baseball diamond/soccer field/football field.  AT ALL.  I think it's GREAT, kids love it, it's a great self-esteem booster (unless they are like I was, and horrible at sports, ha!) and surely great family time.  But I don't think it's probably right for OUR family, at least not at this stage in our lives.

I THINK, and this could change, but I THINK, we will start with swimming lessons for the four bigger kids at a rec center.  I'd hoped to do that this fall, but I waited too long to sign up, and the class was filled.  Sniff, sniff.  We have adoption travel sometime in the future and I guess I want to get a better handle on that before I sign them up.  But I think my kids would enjoy it, and it would be good for them.

After that, we'll see.  Money is of course also a factor.  Thankfully Denver Rec offers a TON of sports that are so, so affordable (even though it does add up for multiple kiddos!)

And, yes, I'm also interested in checking out Denver County 4-H when my kids are a little bigger. (Yes, urban areas also have 4-H.) I think it can be a great thing for kids and a wonderful educational experience. I'd love my kids to learn neat skills and get to enter their photography, sewing, baking etc. in local fairs and competitions. I think 4-H is a GREAT avenue for this type of thing because kids can pursue their own interests. So we'll see.

As for right now, my kids, in addition to their one-day-a-week homeschool program, do participate in one "extra-curricular".  On Wednesday nights, they are part of a church program across the street from our house (!)  The boys go to a 4s and 5s class where they color and hear a story.  Anna is part of a GEMS club (Girls Everywhere Meeting the Savior.)  They have snacks and play games and learn Bible verses and do crafts.  I love that she is getting fellowship with other girls her age.  We're still able to have a regular day, have dinner together at home, and then one of us walks the kids over.  Low impact for us, super fun for them.  (And some sweet time for us with our two littlest girls!)

How about you?  How do YOU navigate sports in  your family?  I think if we only had two children this would be a lot simpler, but with a bigger family, it's a bit of a balancing act.  The thought of kids on different teams playing at different fields around the city stresses.me.out.  I DON'T ever seeing us being a die-hard "sports family", if that makes any sense.  Come to think of it I don't know what we'll be.  Hmmmm.  Maybe I should get this figured out!  :)  (In the meantime, I love the relationship between these two sweet girls.  Kaitlyn LOVES Mary.  Loves, loves, loves.  She was great at holding her younger sister and keeping her entertained throughout the day.)

And bonus points to any former 4-Hers out there (I KNOW there are some of you) who can remember the 4-H pledge...

AND, for a final photo of our afternoon, evidence that the kids were having fun and working hard  :) :

Six years

Maybe it's strange to do an "anniversary" post like this, but...

Six years ago today I miscarried what would have been our second baby.

October 5th, 2004.

The date is pretty much forever etched in my memory.

Back in those days, we had one sweet baby girl already and the word miscarriage was so not part of our early-twenties vocabulary.

I'd gotten pregnant quite easily with our oldest daughter, pregnancy and labor were a breeze (haha, well as much as they could be!), and she was healthy and happy. 

Horrible things like miscarriages didn't happen to twenty-three-year-olds with one healthy baby already like me.  Right?

Uh, no.  Not so much.  Because it did happen.  And, it was awful.

Really, really awful.

Emotionally devastating, physically painful and downright terrifying.  I wound up in the ER due to excessive bleeding at 11 pm on October 5th, 2004, with Kevin and baby Anna by my side. 

I'd known for weeks that I was going to miscarry--there was no heartbeat.  I opted to wait it out though and do it naturally because I didn't want a D&C.  And, I DID do it naturally, at home, during a George W. Bush/John Kerry debate (I can still hear the audience shouting "FLIP FLOP, FLIP FLOP!"), but the bleeding wasn't letting up, so off to the hospital I went.

(Naturally by the time we got there it WAS pretty much stopped.  Such is the way of things.)

By October 5th, when I actually miscarried, we'd mostly dealt with the emotional fall-out.  We'd had time to prepare.  So that day it was really just facing the physical pain and ultimately feeling grateful that my body was able to do what it was supposed to do, D&C-free.  

Don't get me wrong, there were tears too. 

But we'd already done most of that.

I know a lot of moms who have lost a baby.  There's nothing like it.  Really.  It stinks.  It's not a club I really want to be a part of, but I know I'm in good company.

Time definitely softens the blow, but when I think back to that time in my life, I can remember the sadness as if it were yesterday.  I remember the ultrasound tech not saying a word as we waited to see the heartbeat on the screen.  I remember having to go into the doctor's waiting room afterwards, surrounded by happy women with big pregnant tummies that I would not get to have.  Because my little baby had already gone to be with Jesus.  It is a horribly helpless feeling...wishing you could change things, wishing you could give life to the precious little one still inside you that you already love with every ounce of your being.  I remember clutching my eight-month-old baby girl ever so tightly, never wanting to let her go, so extra grateful for her sweet smiles and giggles--and vowing never to take the miracle of new life for granted.

I also remember contacting a couple of girlfriends who I knew had already faced this, asking them for input and support.  I would never have wished this on anyone, but it felt good to know I wasn't alone.  That there were many amazing women who'd walked this road before me.  I drew on their wisdom and strength.

And there are funny memories from that time, too, as strange as that sounds.  When we FINALLY found out that the baby had, indeed, died (there were a couple of weeks where they actually weren't sure if it was really too soon to see the heartbeat), I remember we trudged home, so very sad.  We made some phone calls and lay down on the couch.  There was devastation mingled with relief because finally we KNEW, finally we had closure.  Now there was just waiting for my body to deliver the baby.

Later that night, we went out to dinner and then to a furniture store to spend a gift certificate before it expired.  I suppose we wanted to get out of the house.  We're weird like that, apparently.

The restaurant we ate at had huge fish tanks and Anna was in awe of all the brightly colored fish.  It was so sweet.

Then...the furniture store.  (Which is now out of business, by the way.)  When we'd bought our couches and bedroom furniture several months earlier, when our new house was done being built, they messed up and shipped the wrong mirror for the dresser.  To make up for the resulting delay, they gave us a $100 store credit. 

And, as luck would have it, it was literally about to expire that day in late September.  As in, the very next day.  So armed with the news that we were for sure going to lose our baby, like any normal couple in that situation...we headed out to do some shopping.

But we couldn't find ANYthing we wanted that was $100 or less.  The store basically had a lot of overpriced, poorly made furniture.  We kept roaming around the store...Kevin kept suggesting fake plants...I kept telling him I REFUSED to buy any fake plants...and FINALLY we settled on this wall hanging that neither of us really liked.  But it was $100.

Sweet success.

That wall hanging (basically a print of some European-looking things that to this day we have been unable to identify) spent most of its life sitting in our guestroom closet.  A couple of times we attempted to hang it somewhere.  But it never stayed.  Because we both hated it.

Then, eventually, something happened to it and it broke.  So we threw it away.

I don't know why, but the whole furniture-store-saga still makes me smile.  I remember feeling strangely comforted walking the aisles of the store with my husband and baby girl.  No matter WHAT difficult things we were facing, or how sad we were...we were a family.  We would face them together.  Anna was losing a baby sibling, and we were losing a child, but God was working His grace through our lives and we had a united front, of sorts.  And sure it would have been a nice consolation prize to at least leave the store with something we LIKED--but maybe God knew that we would need a good, soul-healing laugh instead.

Come to think of it, I suppose I remember a lot of things about my life six years ago.  It was hard.  God was there.  I still feel sad that I never got to meet my sweet baby, but I believe he/she had a soul and that I will someday.  In the meantime, I like to focus on the idea that  his/her life was a gift from God that I got to enjoy and delight in, if only for a short time.  I am mom to a sweet baby in Heaven.  That too is a gift.

And of course I remember that as of October 5th, 2004, we were the not-so-proud owners of a pretty ugly painting that graced our closet for a time.  Who knew that I would one day come to see a piece of hideous artwork as symbolic of God's provision during a very dark time in our lives? 

Well, apparently God did.  Because He always knows just what we need.  And sometimes it's simply a laugh, by way of a ridiculously overpriced furniture store that sells lame-o art.

So that's what I'm remembering today.  Our sweet baby, the painful loss, and God's hand on our lives throughout it all.  Like any grief, it is bittersweet.  And so important to remember.

Adoption (or, me and my mixed feelings)

Yes, I have mixed feelings.

On many, many things.

And I'm over it.  :)  I've been indecisive and decision-averse my entire life.  So this is nothing new for me. 

'Tis a quirk that I've learned to live with.

Something I REALLY feel conflicted about though is adoption.

Yes, adoption.

And I'm an adoptive mom!

I know lots of other adoptive moms.

I know the sad truth of the global orphan crisis and the limited future that orphans face in a developing country.

But I also know the ethical problems and trafficking allegations and all-around yuckiness that inevitably comes with adoption.

As with most things (religion, life, parenting, everything) I wish there were a super easy, black-and-white, bottom line answer.  An across the board solution.  (If you couldn't tell, I LIKE having things tied up all neatly in a nice little predictable box.  And if you also couldn't tell, God has a fabulous sense of humor because He has blessed me with five small children.)

But there's not.

I think anytime there is a product for which there is also a demand, greed comes to call.  And when it comes to adoption (mostly I'm speaking of Ethiopian adoption, but this is true of many other countries as well), there is a HUGE demand-outweighing-the-supply problem.   HUGE.  Waiting lists for healthy baby girls are unbelievably long, for example.  On the surface, people might be tempted to think that this is a GOOD sign.  Families are lining up to take children needing homes.

But the problem is that there are so very many children needing homes TODAY, right now, this very second.  They are not generally, however, healthy baby girls.  (With the masses waiting in line for them.)  They are teenagers, sibling sets, HIV+, born with Down syndrome, diabetic, hearing-impaired, developmentally delayed.  They have Hep B and cleft palates and Cerebral Palsy.  They have "unknowns."  THEY are the truly waiting children.  THEY are the faces that comprise what we call the global orphan crisis.  Kids waiting (and waiting, and waiting) for families.  Considered unadoptable by most adopting families.

People don't like to talk about this aspect of adoption.  It's uncomfortable.  I think most adoptive families like to believe that not only are they adding a child to the mix, they are also helping a child without a home.  Giving a family to a child in need.  It makes us feel warm and fuzzy inside, and like we're participating in something bigger than ourselves and being part of the solution.  Not everyone is willing to shell out thousands of dollars and travel half-way around the world to make a difference, after all.

 This is what we tell ourselves.

I don't know if you've followed some of the stories of unethical agency practices.  I've watched with dismay as adoption agencies have witheld information, mixed up children (yes this happened to a sweet friend of mine), and participated in "harvesting" (going to rural areas and essentially "recruiting" children, from their birth families, for adoption.)  These aren't just rumors--some of this stuff is well-documented.  Law suits are pending.  Yet people continue using some of these agencies, mostly because I think anytime an agency claims to be "Christian", people assume they MUST be working ethically.

Honestly I think we'd ALL like to believe the very best about the adoption industry.  I know I would.  I don't WANT to think that people are profitting off of vulnerable children, or that they're not using "best practices."  I don't like the idea that some people actually believe that coming to America is always preferable to remaining in a developing country with birth family.  (This particular belief has been used to justify harvesting and who knows what else.)  I want to think--I want to KNOW--that my sons had no other options, that they NEEDED a family.

When we began our first adoption process over five years ago to bring home said sons, we hoped to adopt waiting children.  On that big, horrible, guilt-inducing list (are you willing to adopt a child with HIV?  missing limbs?  just one missing limb?  malformed fingers?  gunshot wounds?  large head circumfrence?) we checked off most things as "willing to consider."  We reviewed the current list of waiting children--most were much older than our biological daughter, and we didn't feel comfortable disrupting birth order by more than a year or so--though there were two little ones who we DID consider.  We reviewed their files but ultimately did not move forward.

It was awful. 

While we did feel open to most medical/special needs, one of the children was completely blind, and the other just had a whole lot of those "unknowns" I mentioned earlier.  Definitely very delayed, possibly autistic and showing signs of brain damage because he'd had Meningitis as an infant.

We really wrestled with that decision.  I hated having to turn down the files.  But we really felt that we were not meant to parent either of those children at that time.  (Both of whom have since found families.)  We just really did not feel God leading us there, or giving us peace about it.

Our agency did not place as many children then as they do now, so we DID end up waiting some number of weeks before the director called me with a unique situation: twin boys who'd already been adopted, but whose adoptive family got to Ethiopia and changed their minds.  They claimed one of the twins was autistic and sick and severely developmentally delayed.  He'd recently presented with an enlarged spleen and been diagnosed with asthma.  The director said she honestly thought he would eventually be fine, but they would have him re-evaluated, and would we be interested in considering these little guys? 

Um, yes please!

We'd hoped to adopt at least one girl, but whatever, these boys needed a family!  Someone to believe in them and take a chance on them.  Kevin and I had already made our decision before their file even arrived via Fedex the next day.

Turns out they'd been living in various orphanages for the past FIFTEEN MONTHS.  Ever since they were  a month old.  That was when their birth mother relinquished them to the government, because she could no longer care for them.

It also turns out that, yes, one of them was indeed decently developmentally delayed.  And had horribly low muscle tone in his teeny tiny legs.  I think he probably could have earned a Cerebral Palsy diagnosis.  Really. He also had a slew of emotional issues, but upon meeting him, we pretty much ruled out autism.  He was extremely sociable and loved engaging with us, when he wasn't lethargic.

We really never looked back when we made the choice to become Yosef and Biniam's parents.  There were some "unknowns" looming pretty large with Biniam's development, but we just believed that God would equip us for whatever lay ahead.  We felt open to medical/special needs--there ARE no "perfect" children, anyway.  We decided to give them TIME--to adjust and attach and soak up their new lives in a family.  Biniam eventually began walking (by FAR my proudest, and most rewarding, first-steps moment as a mom), and putting on weight.  He worked through his emotional stuff (mostly triggered by food), and today...well, today he's kind and outgoing and funny and loving.  He has some ADHD-ish tendencies which I DO believe are the result of early childhood trauma.  Yosef seemed to come with fewer health/emotional issues, but he has a hard time today with auditory processing and as a result has some learning delays.  None of it is surprising considering their early life experiences.

Where was I going with all of this?  :)  Well, my boys definitely needed a family.  They'd been relinquished independent of our adoption agency, we have all the papers, there was no funny business that we can see.  Overall, in spite of the strange situation with their first adoptive family, the adoption went as it should have.  Kids needing a family, a family meeting the need.  No they were not waiting children when we became eligible to move forward, but we were actively open to whoever God brought along, even if that included some medical needs.  AND, it is downright foolish to assume that ANY child coming from a developing country will be perfectly healthy.  They may seem that way, but years later may struggle with learning delays or ADHD.

Now that we're in process AGAIN, a lot of these same questions have risen to the surface.  What should adoption mean?  How should we be approaching the process?  There's actually a waiting list now for young HIV+ children in Ethiopia.  Which is nothing short of amazing--in a few years' time, these kids are now seen as adoptable.  This was not the case in early 2006 when we visited Ethiopia.

Which means that we have decided NOT to adopt children with HIV.  Anyone in the age range we feel comfortable with (which has gone down considerably due to some circumstances at the orphanage) already has a waitlist of people, ready to adopt them.  This has been a huge paradigm shift for us because, well, we had always wanted to pursue the adoption of HIV+ children.  In 2006 many were waiting for families, and people were, for the most part, not wanting to parent kids with this status.  But things have drastically changed--for the better--and there is no longer a PRESSING need for families to adopt young children living with HIV in Ethiopia.  (Though many older children still wait and are in great need of families!)

So we have ruled this out.

In our commitment to take harder-to-place children, those who truly need a home today, we have had to bid farewell to our expectations, look elsewhere, see where the need is.

And we have seen it.

It is new territory for us.  Both super exciting and terrifying all at once.  NOT what we would ever have expected.  But we believe it will be far better than anything we could have imagined.

And here's the thing: we all have those things we're equipped for.  That God places on our hearts.  This is just my opinion but it doesn't do anyone any favors to take something on that we have no business doing.  And this will vary from person to person. 

But sometimes conventional wisdom is for the birds.

And it SHOULDN'T be used as an excuse.  An excuse to not do great big things that God will equip us for and carry us through.  All the while seeing beauty made from ashes as God weaves His story of redemption through your family's life.

Sometimes I feel the need to qualify the statement, "I am passionate about adoption."  Instead, I suppose I am passionate about waiting child adoption.  Because I have seen the side of international adoption where families are glued to list-movement updates, where you have to fight tooth and nail to be approved for a medical needs adoption, where agencies gather up healthy babies but refuse to house or place children with medical needs--because THOSE kids are harder to find families for, and therefore not as profitable.

It's ugly.

Thus the mixed feelings I have about adoption.  Maybe it's less adoption and more "adoption culture" that gives me pause.  And no, no one likes to talk about it.  Least of all me.  It is convicting because there ARE placements that would not be right for our family at this time.  There IS a place for being wise and realistic about what we can manage.  I was NOT a pioneer in the movement to adopt HIV+ children, for example, though I tried to be an advocate. 

I love what my wise friend has said: that when they were adopting, they would pray that God would line up the biggest need that they could meet with the resources they had to give.  (I comPLETEly butchered her quote--Jennifer, I am so sorry.  It is far more eloquent and inspiring when you say it!)

And I suppose my main reason for sharing this today is that I wonder if we might all benefit from thinking and talking more about the realities behind adoption.  What is it?  What should it be?  How should it look?  I have a wonderful friend who completely changed directions and is adopting from an entirely different country (and pursuing a child with a different medical need) than she'd planned, because she wanted to meet a need and not go on a waitlist.  I am inspired by this.  I'm inspired by two other families I know who are currently each bringing home a pair of older children who've been waiting for a family.  Two of the children are also living with HIV.

If you are thinking about adopting, please be willing to have these difficult conversations.  Even though it's not fun.  Think through the principles behind adoption, supply and demand, and the fact that so very many little ones wait because they were born with medical needs, or are in a less-popular-to-adopt-from country.  (And this has changed over time too.)  You don't have to be a saint to pursue the adoption of a waiting child.  Far from it.  I know many, many families in this situation and they are all regular people raising kids and busy with the usual stuff of life.  But God is there meeting them and making something really beautiful out of it all.  Love it.

As our own process continues to move along (and yes, an update is forthcoming), I can say that I am utterly excited and passionate about waiting child adoption.  We have had these gut-wrenching conversations and have asked God repeatedly what He wants from us, and He has been faithful to answer.  Not on our timetable, because we spent a lot of time wondering what on earth we were going to do and how this process would end.  It was stressful.  Painful at times.  But God knew, and at just the right time--not a moment too soon, and not a moment too late--He spoke to our hearts and aligned the greatest need with our ability to meet that need.  And things are coming together.  In a messy, beautiful, we-are-so-going-to-need-God's-grace sort of way.

So I may have mixed feelings about the adoption culture, but I DON'T have mixed feelings about God's work or about the need for us--the church--to take up the cause of the fatherless.  And that means adoption in many cases.  But let's be wise, and sensitive to the truths--some of them difficult--behind the orphan crisis.  It is not enough to simply have good intentions. 

If we truly want to pursue justice on behalf of these children, we need to have our eyes opened and our hearts softened.  We need to seek out ethical adoption agencies and make sure our hearts are in the right place.  We need to understand our own motives. 

It's hard work. 

But these children are oh so worth it, and God may just surprise you by placing a waiting child, or two, on your heart.

7 Quick Takes Friday {#8}

1.)  I've missed doing this regular Friday post.  I don't know why, but it's fun--though sometimes challenging--coming up with seven random bullet-points at the end of a week.  Anyway, I'm going to try to get back into it.  (Part of me probably likes it because it's a little more "mindless".  I don't have to put TOO much thought into it and I can simply write a very little bit about seven different things.  OR, if I don't HAVE seven things to write about...I can use up one of them saying I don't have anything to say.  :)


2.)  Yesterday while running errands, I bought a fun basket to institute a new organizational system.  Nothing fancy, I assure you.  But a way to keep important papers (the kids' school stuff, adoption forms, coupons etc.) nice and tidy in a handy spot in my kitchen.  I think I'm going to be really happy with it, and it'll be so nice being a little more clutter-free around here.  Baby steps.  Several weeks ago I'd bought some cute (and cheap!) file folders to go inside, and I've already labeled several of them and put them in my basket, along with a jar for pens and pencils, my planner, and a pad of paper.  I got the idea from this friend, who along with this friend, have all sorts of wonderful organizational and home ideas.  I'm horribly uncreative but I get so excited when I see something I like!  Then I promptly attempt to copy it.  :)

3.)  Mary Lu has been SO foul-tempered lately.  I have no clue why.  (The above photo is of her in happier times.  With food on her face.  I couldn't find any pictures of her looking upset--I really need to remedy that.  Maybe tomorrow.)  By lately, I mean the past couple of days.  She's not sleeping as well and wakes up MAD.  And throughout the day, if a situation arises where she's not pleased--and when you're eleven-months-old, these situations DO arise--she is ANGRY.  Screaming and crying.  Loudly.  I've had no caffeine, and haven't been eating anything weird.  She DOES have THREE new teeth coming in, so maybe that's it.  Either way, I hope it's over SOON!  Because as nice as it is having her stay up until 11 pm watching Seinfeld with us, because she doesn't want to go to bed and literally will not scream and cry herself to sleep, I do miss her generally happy and laid back countenance.

4.)  I'm reading this book right now (pardon the blurry cover but I couldn't find a good picture) that the rest of you would probably find boring.  I find it rather fascinating.  One of the chapters however really turned me off, and since reading it, I've felt less inclined to pick up the book.  So lame, because I'm NOT Roman Catholic, and so I shouldn't, and don't, expect to hold all of the author's views.  Still, his personal take on salvation kind of irked me.  I want to finish the book, because it really has been a fascinating peek into an age-old debate that offers insights into the origins of some of the fundamentalists' anti-Catholic rhetoric.  But I think I'm actually a little mad at the author, and am giving him the cold shoulder.  Oh man, I need to get a life.  But not until after my falling out with Karl is resolved.  I need some space, and then hopefully he can enter my good, currently-Protestant-although-not-anti-Catholic graces, again.


5.)  Last night Kevin spoke these words to me: "Maybe if I was a computer screen, I'd get more of your love and attention."  While I was blogging.  It made me laugh, so I'm including it here.  Blogging friends, do your husbands say these sorts of things too?  (Kevin actually really supports my silly little piece of the blogosphere and is an avid reader.  One of the few and the proud.  For some reason it means a lot to me that he reads, and I get so excited to hear what he thinks about my posts.)


6.)  We watched Diary of a Wimpy Kid this week.  HILARIOUS!  Oh my goodness, we laughed and laughed.  Soooo funny.  Some great quotes in there, to be sure.  My kids however didn't see it...I wanted to preview it myself first.  I'm glad that I did because it's maybe a little "edgier" than what my kids (the oldest being six years old) typically watch.  Maybe in a couple of years.  Anyway, if your kids aren't interested in the movie, or are too young for it, watch it yourself anyway.  You won't be sorry!

7.)  I'm completely and utterly admiring-from-afar the joy that is...Fiestaware.  Why have I only recently discovered this happy-cheery goodness?  (Oh that's right, I am so not in the know.  Mostly I really like that.)  Anyway, I love all the bright colors and mix-and-matchy-ness of it.  My favorite colors in general right now are turqoise, orange, and gold-ish-harvest-ish-yellow (that's a color, right?!)  There are lots of fun dishes in those shades that I think would look GREAT on my black Pottery Barn via Craigslist table.  And I know, I just KNOW, that not only would food taste better, but that I would suddenly LOVE to cook and entertain, if only I owned some of these pieces.  Riiiigggghhhhht.  :)  I start to feel uncomfortable when I think about the principles behind consumerism and discontent and materialism.  But those dishes sure are pretty.  So I'm admiring.  From afar.  While feeling uncomfortable.  :)

**********************

I hope you all have a great weekend!  We have a birthday party for a sweet little girl to attend on Saturday afternoon, but other than that, it's wide open.  Which should mean lots of relaxing and fun and maybe even some thrifting, too!

Oh and if YOU want to participate in the 7 Quick Takes Friday, head on over to Conversion Diary and link up.  Be sure to read through Jennifer's blog while you're there--it's one of my favorites!

It goes both ways

Well friends, it did indeed happen.  This past Saturday was the day that I caught Mary and Kaitlyn's tummy flu.

Instead of a much-longed-for weekend day of getting things done and being productive, I spent it on the couch, alternating between fighting tooth-and-nail not to be sick, and being sick.

This after several days of cleaning up after a sweet, sick baby--laundry, more laundry, multiple baths per day. 

And THAT after looking after Kaitlyn when SHE had come down with it.

Whew.

Being a mother has its perks, and its challenges, and I'm learning that sometimes the challenges are perks too.

I count it a great privilege, for example, to care for my little ones when they're sick.  (It really helps that they're so cute!)  I really try to play it up--they get to have a cozy blanket and pillow to rest on the couch, we cuddle, sometimes there is Jello and usually various videos to watch.  (Sometimes on Mommy's bed).  Siblings rally around and express their sympathies.  If a child has to stay home from church, brothers and sisters return bearing treats from that morning's food table.  Cups overflowing with animal crackers and fresh fruit and usually a bagel with too much cream cheese that they ever so carefully smeared on after the service. 

It is so, so, soooo sweet.

Ministering to the sick is something that God cares about and that Jesus clearly did.  Most churches today devote some portion of resources to this act.  I've never given it too much thought, I suppose.  But this is something we moms do on a regular basis.  In our own homes.  And as I think more about it, there is something so incredibly precious about ministering to our little ones through making them comfortable when they're sick.  Really we're serving Jesus.

But there is more.

It dawned on me on Saturday evening, as a dirt-smudge-faced Kaitlyn came over to me (fresh from climbing trees in the backyard), instructed me to sit up, and placed a pillow behind me so I could rest against it, that my children minister to ME when I'M sick, too.  It goes both ways.  Anna offered to read to me earlier in the day, Yosef brought me crackers, and I get lots of "are you feeling better, Mommy?"s.  Sometimes it's as simple as a child rubbing my back asking if I'm okay.

I've never asked for any of these things.  And I'm not a dramatic sick person (nobody ever believes me at the hospital when I say I'm in labor--until they check me and find out I'm in transition.  :)  And I did the kidney stone thing twice without making a big to-do).  But my kids are amazingly empathic and love on me so.very.well. when I'm not 100%.

The fact is that God uses them to bless me beyond measure and they always seem to know when I need encouragement.  My default is to feel anxious when I get sick, because I can tangibly feel the weight of responsibility that raising five kids brings.  Meals to prep, clothes to wash, diapers to change, kisses and hugs to dole out.  On more than one occasion I have wondered, "How am I EVER going to get through this day with five kids and a flu/sinus infection/kidney stone/mono?"  People, upon hearing the number of children we have, will sometimes ask how I manage when I'm sick.  (It's probably one of the questions I get asked the most, actually.  Which makes sense.  It's a daunting thought.)

My answer has usually always been, "By God's grace", or something equally vague that downplays any and all merit on my part.  Because, trust me, I'm generally down for the count when I'm not feeling well.  I don't have a Type A personality, I'm not a high-energy person anyway, so when germs come to call, I pretty much just try and rest.

But I'm seeing that a more specific answer to that question involves the countless ways my children and husband minister to me in sickness.

Instead of my kids being a burden when I'm not doing well, their smiles and love bring so.much.gladness. to my heart.  Yes I still have to nurse Mary, but her big sister Anna is always so happy to bring her to me.  I'm still on for parenting, but my kids play happily or watch videos for hours.

Why am I so surprised by any of this?

It's just God making His grace known to me through my family.

That's what He does.

I remember back in the days when we had just three small children, but they were all ages 2 and under.  Probably our most challenging phase of parenting.  Harder than having five kids ages 6 and under.  Much harder.  Especially when you factor in the major adjustment period of an adoption.

And in those days, my husband commuted over an hour EACH WAY to work.

Every.single.day.

He rode in a van pool so there was no flexibility in terms of leaving for work a little later, running home at lunch, putting in a half-day.

Plenty of people are doing this, especially in California, and we made it work.  He had a pretty positive attitude about it, until it really did just get to be too much.

And then we moved to Denver.  :)

But I saw God's abundant grace in those days too.

He always met me.  Always.

Somewhere along the way though we pick up this idea that family is generally a good thing unless WE'RE the mom. 

Then family is about responsibility and work and "how am I going to get through this day?"

Which, yes, I do ask myself anytime I'm not functioning on all cylinders (or even sometimes when I am!)

But I want to start remembering that, yes, while I DO have five whole children to look after even when I'm not feeling up to it...I also have five whole children to love me and encourage me when I'm not feeling up to it.

Five little ones making me laugh and making my heart melt.

Love it.

So I'm going to challenge myself to start thinking about things this way,  Jesus ministering to me through my kids.  Because it goes both ways.

****And I feel the need to give a huge shout-out to Kevin who, on this particular day I got sick, took over all parenting and household tasks, including meal prep, baths, the boys' haircuts (!), the list goes on.  I think I need to schedule my sick days on weekends more often!  :)

First full day of school, in pictures

Yosef, Anna and Biniam on their first full-day of their homeschool program!

If you couldn't tell, I had three VERY excited kids this year.

They couldn't wait to set off for school with their backpacks and lunch boxes.

They were THRILLED.

I was really excited for them, too.

And it marked a new chapter in Yosef and Biniam's lives: THEY STARTED KINDERGARTEN. 

How did this happen???  How is it possible that the two sweet little boys who I remember meeting for the first time in an Ethiopian orphanage are going off to school?!  This is simply unfathomable to me.  I still can't fully wrap my mind around the idea that my sons are in school now.  When I do drop-offs, THREE kids are piling out of the van to find their classroom, instead of just one.  I give THREE kids a kiss and hug goodbye, I pack THREE lunches the night before and stuff THREE backpacks with snacks and water bottles as we head out to the car.  (Eventually of course my kids will be packing their own lunches, but boy am I glad that as a homeschooling mom, I only have to do all this ONE TIME A WEEK, instead of FIVE.  Good grief, it's a lot of work getting kids all ready and out the door.)

Anna, my big First-Grader.

I am truly in awe of how much my sweet first-born has grown and matured in the past year.  It's amazing.  I still remember her starting Kindergarten one year ago, shy and unsure but of course super excited, too.  Now she pretty much owns the place--or at least she thinks she does.  :)  When I picked her up after school on her first day, the very first thing out of her mouth was that she made a new friend.  There are more girls in her class this year and she is getting to know all of them.

Yosef, the proud Kindergartner.

This kid has been excited about starting school ever since Anna began last year.  Couldn't wait to get a backpack, school supplies, and set off for a new adventure.  And, he's loving it so far.  I think he's still learning the ropes a little bit, but he's having a lot of fun and I think it's going to be a good first year for him!

Biniam, the enthusiastic Kindergartner.

Just like his brother, Biniam has been eagerly anticipating school and all of its trappings this whole past year.  He's making friends, has a "best friend" in his class, and is also still figuring stuff out.  All the while having a fabulous time, of course.

All three of the kids have PE together at the end of the day.

SO.CUTE.

And if you didn't know my boys, and you saw them at school...you'd never know that they're related.  Or even know each other.

They don't hang out together.

Or sit near each other.

Or have lunch at the same table.

This cracks.me.up.

With personalities like night-and-day, it makes sense that they'd want to carve out their own respective, independent niches at school.  But for some reason, it still amuses me to no end.

"Biniam," I'll ask, "did you sit near Yosef at lunch today?"

"No," he'll reply.

"Yosef, did you play with Biniam at school today?"

"Nope."

Ha, ha.

Such is life with twins, I suppose.

At any rate, I really do think the kids are going to have a wonderful year.  Today is Field Day, and tomorrow I'm attending a puppet show that Anna's class is putting on.  So fun!

This school has turned out to be one of my favorite pieces of our life as homeschoolers.  We truly get to enjoy the best of both worlds. 

So yay for a new school year!  I love new beginnings and am so proud of my kiddos!

Kids and chores

This is a subject I'm always interested in.

I enjoy hearing how other families manage their weekly workload and involve their kids in the process.

I really believe in giving children household responsibilities.

And my kids hear me say on a regular basis that being part a family means helping out to make things run smoothly.  They know that Mommy and Daddy have lots of things they need to do--and are happy to do--for our family, but that they need to help out, too.

Right now we don't really use chore charts, or assign specific jobs to specific kids.  My kids know that they are in charge of picking up after themselves (toys, books, clothes, school stuff), taking their dishes to the counter at the end of a meal, loading their own laundry into the washing machine and moving it to the dryer, and putting it away.  They also help out with various other things that the two littlest kids can't do yet--ie, doing and putting away THEIR laundry etc.  They help bring the groceries in after a Costco/Target/Safeway run.

Lately I've been talking--a LOT--about doing things with a GLAD HEART.  I'd noticed that my children had developed some negative attitudes towards chores and I realized that it's simply not enough to just do the job, it should be done as unto the Lord.  Nobody really LIKES doing work, once the novelty wears off anyway.  But it has to get done, and we have seven people in our house, so it REALLY has to get done.  :)

Surprisingly, all of my annoying "Jesus wants us to do our work with a glad heart" talk has actually made a difference!  My kids have been surprisingly receptive to the idea.  If I ask them to do a job, and the whining starts, I remind them and they generally respond by cleaning up the attitude.

The most difficult aspect of chores these days, interestingly, is the picking up after themselves piece.  My kids will occasionally draaaagggggg it out, go soooooo slowly...it is maddening.  They know that they won't receive lunch or dinner until everything is tidied up, but sometimes even that isn't a huge motivator.

To help at least a little with this issue, I recently went through all.of.their.toys--and gave away a whole bunch to the ARC.  We just have way too many.  And the kids were HORRIBLE about keeping stuff organized.  So after donating a few big bag-fulls to the thrift store, I instituted a bit of a more formal organizational system.  And they're sticking to it!  Matchbox cars in one bin, a bin for Polly Pockets and My Little Pony, a place for Little People etc.  Up until this point I just wasn't overly vigilant about how they kept their things because it would have been a NIGHTMARE.  Trust me, I tried, but they just couldn't seem to keep stuff together.  It was a battle I opted no to fight, for my own personal sanity's sake.  Now though they're definitely capable and it makes this mama very, very happy.  

Another method I have used in the past when toy pick-up isn't going so well (and that I need to implement more often) is the divide-and-conquer technique.  Instead of telling all of the kids "go clean up the school room, playroom and your bedrooms before lunch", I'll assign Anna to one room, Biniam to another, and Yosef to another.  (Kaitlyn fills in wherever, and Mary is still exempt.  :) )  This seems to help...they seem to go faster when they're seperated this way. 

I'm also getting to a point where I am thinking about training the older three kids to do some more substantial chores--bathrooms, for example.  I clean our bathrooms once a week (generally either on Monday or Tuesday) and I actually don't really mind this job so much.  I have a system and it goes quickly.  And I'm reticent to pass the torch because I want the job DONE WELL, so we'll see.  But as far as capabilities go, my kids are more than capable of at least cleaning the toilets.  So maybe we'll start there.

Eventually I foresee having chore charts and specific things assigned to specific children, including bathrooms, sweeping/mopping, wiping down the table, emptying/loading the dishwasher, mowing the lawn...ahhhh, yes, that will be NICE.

I'm NOT, however, sure how we'll handle allowance down the road.  Nobody gets one right now, and I don't know how I feel about the whole thing.  Not to mention, with five kids, that could add up real quick.  I do want to teach my kids about financial stewardship and about the yuckiness of both hoarding and gleefully spending their money (both ultimately can have their root in greed).  I want them to learn about the pitfalls of consumerism and that a life simply lived is filled with joy and contentment, and offers a less obscure view of the important stuff.  But I don't know yet about how we'll do that, or the role allowance might play.

In the meantime though we'll continue working on keeping things picked up with a cheerful, glad heart.  More is at stake here than simply jobs being completed.  My children are learning about maintaining a home, caring for one another, and about doing everything--even the mundane, un-fun stuff--for Jesus.  I'm still learning how to do this and I have a feeling it'll be a long time before I feel proficient at it.  I probably never will.

There is a beautiful fulfillment found in completing tasks and keeping a home. 

It's not always fun but oh, how I love a clean, orderly house.

Merely one, of many, benefits of kids doing chores!

Field trip: Berry Patch Farms

Have I mentioned I love homeschooling?

Well, I do.  For many, many reasons.  Which I will probably blather on about here for as long as we are homeschoolers.

One of the best parts of homeschooling is getting to do things as a family, incorporating all the kids into activities regardless of their age.  Field trips for example can be a family affair that include my three-year-old and baby.  Not only is this super convenient, but I have a philosophical issue with age segregation and its general effect on families and sibling dynamics.  A really great book is Hold On to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers.  So, so good.  (And the book itself is not a homeschooling or religious book--it's written by two psychiatrists.)

We are part of a homeschool group and recently went on a field trip to a berry farm.  We met up for a picnic lunch, then took a hayride out to the fields to pick (and eat) raspberries, then went and listened to a presentation on honeybees, then visited the little store where I bought fresh (as in, still warm!) roasted green chiles, and all the farm fresh makings for salsa.  Which I made the other day and it is SO YUMMY!  I used the chiles in a chille relleno type dish that was super good too.

The kids of course loved the farm.  Well, except for the part where they got all muddy...it's a long story...but let's just say that my six year old had a complete meltdown because she sunk in the mud and got stuck and her shoes (as were mine, and Kaitlyn's, and Yosef's, and Biniam's) were a complete disaster.  As frustrating and annoying as it is to have your first grade daughter shrieking and crying, I could honestly relate.  I felt like doing the same thing. 

Because we are such city people.  We really are.  I honestly don't mind if my kids get dirty or whatever, but NOT muddy like they were without a pair of proper boots.

But still it was great.  Kaitlyn loved it and got to hang out with her "best friend", Addie--when she wasn't busy picking a slew of unripe raspberries.  Mary didn't love it quite as much, and cried for a good portion of the time we were in the field.  Oh well.

Not too shabby when your school for the day is hanging out at a farm picking berries and learning about bees, I'd say.  We got home tired and dirty and so excited about our adventures.  And I'm already looking forward to the pumpkin patch trip next month!

Taking it easy

Well after yesterday's flurry of activity with a sick baby in tow, we are STAYING HOME today.  Being lazy.  I'm still in my pjs at 10:30 am (okay this is not unusual for me on any given day, but whatever) and I think we'll spend the day doing some fun read-alouds for homeschool.

Mary's still sick--while she had a good day yesterday (lots of napping and in a mostly happy mood), I was up with her again at 2 am this morning...changing her crib sheet, washing her off etc.  She IS in good spirits, though, chewing on my flip flops crawling around and babbling and laughing at her siblings.

Having a sick kid or two doesn't really stress me out TOO terribly much--I'm used to it, really, and I genuinely LIKE being home--but a baby with a stomach virus results in a lot of laundry and late-night cleaning, and every time I nurse her I say a prayer she'll keep it down.  Not to mention I'm constantly paranoid that I'LL catch it.  (Which, let's face it, I probably will.  But it's worth cuddling sweet Mary Lu Lu.)

And alllllll of this is why I'm so extra thankful that some girlfriends and I have a dinner out planned for tonight.  It could not have come at a better time.  I'll be able to leave Mary home (where she will probably just sleep and be loved on by the rest of the family) and enjoy dinner and drinks with good friends.  I shall take a shower and put on clean clothes (that don't smell like I've been taking care of a sick baby) and feel rejuvenated.

I don't need a lot of time away from my kiddos.  Really.  I honestly don't need a ton of "me time" in that sense--I feel like my evenings, after the kids go to bed (so from 7:30 pm on), belong to me and that is plenty.  My kids are with me all day, every day, but for a lot (most?) of that time they are playing/working/reading/??? independently.  Sometimes my house is really quiet.

But.

After my unfortunate bout with kidney stones, and now two sick kids (and many loads of laundry and Clorox wipes used) within a week, I'm ready for an evening out.  There is sure to be good conversation, lots of laughter, and much empathy to go around--the four of us have nineteen kids between us.  Four, four, five (that's me!) and six.  But tonight it'll just be us moms.  Rather exciting I'd say!

So I'm counting down the hours until my friends pick me up and we head off into the sunset--er, to the restaurant.  I know by the time I get back home I'll be so, so anxious to check on my sleeping babe, and I love that.  It's as it should be, I think.

Okay, so today's gameplan, in review: stay in pjs for as long.as.poss.i.ble.  Read good books.  Bathe sick baby.  Eventually take shower and put on fresh clothes and go out to eat with fabulous friends.  Come home to wonderful husband and cute under-the-weather-baby who I will have wondered about the whole time I was gone.

Not such a bad day.  I rather like taking it easy!