Anna's family portrait

My oldest daughter Anna came to me several weeks ago.  It was a few days after we'd announced to our children that T. and M. would be joining our family.  She had the above piece of paper in her hand, and said that she'd drawn everyone in our family and that she loves us all so very much.  And I about burst into tears when I saw that both T. and M. were included in Anna's family portrait.

I know that sometimes children are less than thrilled to add another child to the family.  I know that people shake their heads and wonder about kids in larger-than-average families.  Will they still receive enough attention?  Do they even WANT more siblings?  And, what about siblings with medical needs?  Isn't that too much of a burden to place on kids who didn't get to choose? 

We are so blessed to be able to say that (so far) this has never, ever, EVER been an issue for us.  Ev.er.y. time we have added to our family--either through birth OR adoption--ev.er.y. child has been THRILLED.  Over-the-moon excited.  If you ask any of them how many siblings they want, you'll generally get an answer between 100-500.  No joke.  I always tell them that we won't have THAT many children, but it makes my heart so glad that they are so welcoming and excited about new life in our family.  Yes our children will eventually grow up and have all sorts of therapy bills opinions about their family of origin, but I pray that, at the very least, God preserves their openness to life and that they continue to embrace love and relationships and God's values which, if you are a Christian, are markedly different from the world's.  (And if your values and life don't look different from the world's, well, something is probably wrong.)

So.  Once our adoption training and homestudy were complete, and therefore we could move forward with these sweet girls, we sat our kids down and said we had a fun announcement.  We told them about T. and M., and made a big deal about it, as the kids jumped up and down.  We showed them a picture of each of our new daughters, and then later that evening showed them some video of one of our girls. 

I don't remember who it was, but one of our kids had the idea to go kiss their soon-to-be-sister on the TV screen.  Then they all did it. 

We also talked to them, just a little bit, about Down syndrome (which Anna later pronounced "Jerusalem"--SO funny!).  We explained about the extra chromosome and that our new girls will do everything the other kids do, it may just take them a little longer to reach that point.  Or not.  We don't know.

Suffice it to say that the dinner table that night was abuzz with...NOISE.  :)  Talking and laughing and squealing and questions...lots and lots of questions...like where would the girls sleep, and when will they come home, and I can't wait to teach them how to ride a bike so can I do that, Mom?  Anna asked if they'd be home by her (February) birthday, because, "That would be the best birthday present EVER."

I'm not sharing any of this because I think my kids are unique, or because I think we've done anything in particular to instill these values in them.  It's just come naturally.  By God's grace.  They LOVE babies.  They LOVE kids.  They know how to rejoice and delight in relationships.  And so we may try to nurture that, but it's not contrived or forced upon them.  It can't be.

So I feel incredibly blessed that my children already adore their future sisters.  That even though my kids aren't perfect, their default is to love and to welcome children into our home.  Ultimately I believe it is a combination of the work of God, the miracle of life, and God's very design for family. 

And lest you be fooled and think otherwise (aka people who don't know us, because if you do, then you are under no illusions), we are so not the Cleaver family.  Probably closer to the Adams family, actually.  (You should have heard what one of my kids said to one of my other kids in the car last week.  Oh.my.goodness.)  And my kids are still young...they don't understand yet about what having a large-ish family vs. a small-ish family means, or what it's like to have a sibling with developmental and/or cognitive delays. 

But I have big faith in an even bigger God who has begun a good work in each of my children. 

And I know, I know,  that He will carry that on to completion. 

These two...

...are going to get into a lot of trouble together.  A lot.

"Who, us?  Maybe if we look away, Mom won't know."

Yes.  A whole heap of trouble.

And the innocent, unsuspecting man in the picture may just be oblivious to it all, because they have him tightly wrapped around their sticky, chubby fingers.

I don't think he stands a chance.

If people with Down syndrome ruled the world

I love this article.

So, so sweet.

We have some friends right now who are in Ethiopia for their court date. 

We instant-messaged yesterday morning.

They met our girls.

And had such incredibly wonderful things to say about them.

We have close friends living in Ethiopia right now, who have also gone and spent time with our girls.

In fact, I have a photo of their daughter with one of MY daughters.

SO precious.  And surreal.  Really, really surreal.

As parents waiting to meet our children, these updates mean so.much.to.us.

Because while we have not, people dear to us have met our daughters. 

It goes without saying that waiting on a court date is a time of much anticipation. 

I've been really good so far and have not pestered our agency about a timeline.  Not even ONCE.

I know our girlies are in good hands, and our time will come. 

In the meantime, I live for updates from friends...try to enjoy the relative-calm before the certain-to-be chaos...and feel giddy when I read articles with titles like "If People with Down Syndrome Ruled the World".

7 Quick Takes Friday {#13}

1.)  It's COLD!  Brrrrrr!  Winter is on its way, finally.  I love the seasons and yes that includes snowy, wintry weather, but this will take some getting used to.  So, so crazy to drop off the kids at their homeschool program yesterday in jackets and hats.  But I do love it, and I love scarves and coats and all those fun things I rarely wore in my California days.  So, bring it on!


2.)  I'm FINALLY, finally, almost finished with Karl Keating's book.  Remember how I had a falling out with him because of the chapter on salvation?  Well, I'm so glad I ditched the grudge and picked the book back up because it really is interesting, even if he's a little caustic here and there.  (Kevin actually liked the chapter.  Go figure.)  Right now I'm reading the chapter about the Inquisition, which I literally know NOTHING about.  Part of why I'm anxious to finish is so I can dig deeper into Better Late Than Early.


3.)  A couple of days ago I had such a fun chat on the phone with a sweet, dear friend.  It was great.  I should do that more, but I NEVER call people.  I made myself a cup of tea and relaxed and it was wonderful. 


4.)  This latest cold I have is AWFUL!  I always get sick this time of year.  Always.  But once I'm better I hope to be well for a good long while, because it's been one thing after another here lately!  I'm tired of coughing and blowing my nose and feeling crummy.  Yes, I'm whining.  Sorry.


5.)  I keep meaning to do a post about duvet covers.  Yes, duvet covers.  These things make me CRAZY.  And I have officially sworn them off.  For good.  I've tried and I've tried for the past eight years to make them work, but I am DONE.  Tell me I'm not the only one who is literally unable to get the down comforter inside, and who becomes insane when it isn't straight in there, which inevitably happens after about one night of sleeping under it.  Who invented these things???  And WHY?!


6.)  Kevin is the official dishwasher-emptier in our home, and I am the dishwasher-loader.  He HATES to load, and I HATE to empty, so it works perfectly.  I know that emptying the dishwasher, logically, isn't the WORST thing in the world, but I really do detest that job!  It is such a blessing that my husband does it, and it's something I really don't take for granted.


7.)  My kids occasionally fight--yes, fight--over who gets to hold or play with Mary.  And she's been around for over a year.  The novelty has apparently not worn off.  I love that.  The whole drive home from picking up the big kids yesterday, Kaitlyn was making Mary laugh.  SO cute.  I love that siblings bring each other such joy!!!

***

Those really WERE "quick" takes.  Apparently I was so long-winded in earlier posts this week that I had nothing left to say.  :)  If you want to do your OWN 7 Quick Takes, link up over at Conversion Diary!

I missed Orphan Sunday, but I have a wonderful video to show you today

Last Sunday was "Orphan Sunday".

And I mostly forgot.

I didn't do anything special at church, I didn't blog about it, I didn't say a word.

And I feel a little guilty and sad about it.

I guess I have to tell you that sometimes lately I find myself avoiding thinking about the orphan crisis altogether.

Is that weird?

Considering the fact that I'm mom to two adopted children, and currently in the process of adopting two more?

Maybe it is.  But I think my avoidance (which, if you know anything about Psychology, was one of Freud's Defense Mechanisms) is because I care so very much about these children, and yet it HURTS to care so very much about these children.

Does that make sense?

I know first-hand the joys of adoption.  I know some of the sacrifices and some of the difficulties too.  Even though overall, our experience has been smooth and easy.

I know adoption is terribly close to God's heart and I desperately wish more would throw conventional wisdom and savings accounts and confidence-in-the-future to the wind and do something crazy.

Like adopt a waiting child.

I want to encourage people that YES, they too can grow their family through adoption.  Whether they have biological children or not.  Whether they have lots of bedrooms or not.  Whether they've previously thought about adopting or not.

If you haven't gotten this impression yet, Kevin and I are super boring people.  Pretty middle-of-the-road.  Not the sorts to jump on a bandwagon.  Not too hot, not too cold.  We never imagined we'd adopt.  Ever.

But we did.  So now there are two less orphans in the world.

A seriously microscopically-small drop in a seriously infinitely-huge bucket.

It's hard knowing that for the two children who joined your family, millions remain orphans.

Sometimes it feels like you're the only one who cares that:

--There are STILL HIV+ children waiting for families in Ethiopia who were already waiting when we traveled there in 2006.

--There are children waiting in China, ready to be adopted...while families prefer to wait YEARS for a healthy baby from that country.

--There are children waiting in Ukraine and Russia at risk of being put into insane asylums.

So, I guess this is why I sometimes "check out."

It's overwhelming and painful.

But at the same time...

This is where miracles happen.

This is where healing happens.

I think the fight for the hearts and souls of children is where it's at.

I think it's a major battlefield.

And God is drawing us into His story of redemption.

He's inviting us to play a role and embrace LIFE.

Because life is precious.

And it follows then that more life is MORE precious.

Jesus came to give us life, and life abundantly.

He wants to give that to the fatherless child, and He wants to give that to you.

And to me.

Somehow adoption is a two-way street in this sense.

Please don't be fooled.  The global orphan crisis is complicated.  We have to not only be open to adoption, but simultaneously working to help people in sustainable ways so that adoption is not necessary.  Children ought to be able to remain with birth parents who love them.  Extreme poverty, hunger and disease ought not separate otherwise intact families.  In order for adoption to happen, relinquishment must also happen.  And there is nothing happy or exciting about relinquishment.  It's tragic.

BUT, today, right this moment, it is too late for many children.  Their birth parents have long since passed away, or are unable to care for them, and they need a family.  Now.  Right now.

You could, conceivably, start your adoption process and have your child(ren) home within the year.

I really have no desire to use guilt or emotional manipulation to convince people to adopt.  Honestly.  Is adoption for everyone?  Probably not.  I don't think we can actually EVER discern, without question, what other people are supposed to do in this type of scenario. 

So then is adoption a "calling"?  Well, yes...and no.

The Bible says the church is supposed to care for the widow and the orphan.  Adoption is certainly part of that.  So we better take it seriously.  That's the call.  If we're part of the church, we need to figure out how to respond.  The Bible also talks a lot about how children are blessings, and a reward, and that we should fill the Earth and multiply and all that stuff.  So we also know there is precedence for raising multiple children, and that there are inherent blessings in not automatically limiting our family size, and that we are to see children as good gifts from God.

So don't assume you "escaped" the call to adopt because you're not wealthy, or because you have the wrong personality, or because you never considered adoption, or because you don't "feel called" to do it.  Sometimes God "calls" us to things that make little sense to our humanly-finite brains, or to things that don't automatically feel comfortable to us.  Maybe God will "call" you, you'll sail through your paperwork, a bunch of grant money will roll in, and your entire adoption will be paid for.  OR maybe God will "call" you and  you'll have to make major financial sacrifices to do it and your child will struggle greatly with attachment.  Both are equally called, even though one person's process may look effortless and the other person might actually question why it is so difficult and wonder if they'd been "called" in the first place.  And YES, I know people in real life who fit into each of those categories.  And both were "called" to adopt.

I now want to tell you about some AMAZING, wonderful, dear friends of ours in California, Todd and Jill.  This is one of those families that I desperately wish I could transport to Denver because they are so precious to us.  Lots of fun, so kind, and a total inspiration to me.  They have three children, including a son from Ethiopia.  I can't wait to see them on our trip out to California in December!





Ethiopia- Adoption Advocates Int'l from Halle Project on Vimeo.


They produced the above video for our adoption agency to use, and I love it.

WATCH IT.  Please.  So.worth.your.time.  Promise.  This is the orphanage/transition home Yosef and Biniam are from.  It's where our girls are currently.  This is the agency we used before and are using again.

AND...one of my new daughters is on the video!!!! 

I can't watch it without crying for some reason.

That reason might have something to do with a certain sweet girl. 

So while I did nothing for Orphan Sunday, I DO want to share this video with you today.  I want to be an advocate for orphans and for adoption and for waiting children.  I can't help it.  It's a story that needs to be told, and it's an honor to be able to tell it.  I pray the Lord will open up more opportunities for me to share my heart about adoption and about these children.  I want to encourage families and to spread the word that yes indeed, this is a call worth listening to. 

And if little ol' me can be of ANY help to you, please don't hesitate to contact me.  I am MORE than happy to point you to some resources or help you process through some of these decisions.  I love talking about adoption, and I'd love to "meet" you as we work on behalf of the fatherless.  Together.

What I wore Wednesday and revelations from an at-home mom

Just for fun I thought I'd document what I've worn over the past week and link up with my friend Lindsey!

I love clothes, but I love being a cheapskate more and so pretty much all of my things come from the thrift store.

And if I'm spending the day around the house, you'll find me in sweats or yoga pants, and no makeup.

I'm just not one of those people who gets all dressed up to make oatmeal and read Charlotte's Web.

Sorry, but it's true.

And my husband genuinely doesn't care. 

Random tangent and aside: I actually have some strong feelings on the topic because for so long, some areas of the evangelical church have told us women that we need to put a lot of time and money into our appearance, otherwise our husband is going to leave us for that fancy lady at the office.  (My husband is an electrical engineer so this is not TOO likely.  Lucky me.  Maybe this is why I feel so free to wear sweats?)

This line of thinking is seriously flawed, in my opinion, and not at all in keeping with the Bible OR historical Christianity for that matter.  Not to mention, I think it's sexist.  And I don't play that card all too often, but I'll  gladly play it when it comes to this.

While there's nothing WRONG with looking nice and wearing makeup and making an effort, I DON'T think there's a huge case that you HAVE to paint your face or wear a new outfit to be beautiful for your spouse, as if that is a woman's responsibility in marriage.  Don't get me wrong, I'm NOT a tomboy, never have been and never will be.  I like girly things and jewelry and there was a time in my life when I always had acrylic nails with a french manicure.  HA!  That is so laughable now.  And I like that my husband thinks I'm beautiful.  I'd be so bummed out if he didn't.

Okay, stepping off of my soapbox now.

Typically I get all dressed and ready on Tuesdays (small group), Thursdays (kids' school dropoff/pickup/time with girlfriends), and Sundays (church).  If we go somewhere or have people over on Friday or Saturday (or one of those other days), I'll do it then too.  And I don't spend a TON of time on this stuff--just some makeup (Mary Kay leftovers from when my mom was a consultant and would give me free stuff, and cheap drugstore items) and an outfit that I like.  I enjoy looking nice but have no desire to do it seven days a week. 

And my hair is a whole other (neglected) story.  Are you ready for this?  I haven't had it cut or trimmed in over a year.  NO JOKE.  Yes friends, I am serious.  Sometimes I straighten it with a hot iron, but mostly I wear it back.  My hair is SO THICK and a cross between curly and straight--yet sadly NOT curly enough to WEAR it curly and not quite straight enough to look very good straight.  SO, it's usually in a ponytail or bun these days.  Sometimes I'll wear it down.  Debating whether to chop it all off (and have it thinned) on the cheap or let it grow long.  I do think my hair is better suited for short cuts, but I see people with long hair and I decide I want to do that.  Until my hair is growing out and I remember, oh yeah, it's soooooo thick and randomly wavy and not the greatest "long hair" hair.

So if you thought YOU were low-maintenance with your hair, now you know that someone out there is even MORE low-maintenance.  And I really don't think about my hair all that often.  Lately though I have been because I have the urge to get it cut off.  We'll see. 

Still I thought it would be funny to document what I wear because it really is quite laughable a good portion of the time.  So, without further ado...

Wednesday.  Just hanging out at home getting over a cold.  Who knew that upon getting over said cold, I'd catch ANOTHER one.  Grrrrr.

sweater: Gap (three years ago)
sweats: thrift store
slippers: Target (two years ago)

Hee,  hee, hee.  Told ya.  Sweats around the house.

Thursday.  School dropoff, errands, lunch with girlfriends.

cardigan sweater: Target clearance (total splurge for me.)
shirt: thrift store (originally a Target maternity shirt, but I really liked it so I rigged it up with a safety pin in the back, hehehe)
jeans: thrift store
boots: thrift store
necklace: lisa leonard designs

Friday.  We had some people over for Yosef and Biniam's birthday.
Shirt: thrift store
Posy pin: The Pleated Poppy
Jeans: Target clearance
Shoes: Target clearance
Necklace: lisa leonard designs


Saturday.  Forgot to take a picture.  I was in sweats all day because I was coming down with cold #2.  Missed out on fun swimming at Kevin's aunt's house.  Bummer!

Sunday.  Church, lunch at Noodles & Company with friends and their families (we pretty much packed out the restaurant), thrifting with Anna.

camisole: Old Navy (four years ago)
shirt: yard sale in our 'hood
sweater: Target clearance
jeans: Target clearance
shoes: thrift store
necklace: lisa leonard designs

Monday.  Church moms' group in the morning, feeling sick and resting the rest of the day (aka I changed out of these clothes and into pjs the moment I got home.)

sweater: thrift store
jeans: thrift store
shoes: thrift store
necklace: lisa leonard designs

Tuesday.  Rested all day reading Catholic apologetics in a cozy robe and pjs.  Didn't take a picture, unfortunately.  But it would have been awesome.


Well folks, that's it!  Not nearly as entertaining as I'd hoped, because I missed out on TWO photo ops of me in my comfies.  BUT, you DID learn that I wore jeans a lot last week, that I'm a thrift store junkie, that I feel little-to-no pressure to look fancy around the house, AND that I haven't had a haircut in over a year.

I think our relationship has definitely moved to the next level, don't you?  :)

Fall fun

I just wanted to share some of the sweet, festive things we've done so far this season.  It's felt busy, and as I look back, I can see why!  (And this is NOT an exhaustive list by any means.)

My kids had crazy hair day at school and we decided to "go green".  :)

Yosef and Biniam have very short hair, and I wasn't sure what we should do with it.  This turned out perfectly though, and they loved it!

Anna wanted lots of green ponytails.  So fun!

***

We hit up free Scary Face Pancakes at IHOP.



Halloween weekend, we trekked over to IHOP and it was so much fun! The kids got to decorate their own pancakes and seriously had a blast. Just know that if you own a restaurant and offer any sort of free ANYthing, we will show up. All seven of us. Soon there will be nine of us.

***

The kids had black oatmeal with "ghosts" in it for Halloween breakfast.

What cracks me up is, I spontaneously did this for the kids last year.  Thought it would be funny.  And THIS year, DAYS before Halloween, Anna was telling me that I HAD to do the black ghost oatmeal again.  She was adamant.  So, apparently a Heldt family tradition has begun.

***

Kevin bought each of the kids their own small pumpkin.

We didn't do carving this year.  We have YET to carve a pumpkin, actually.  And the day before Halloween, Anna (yet again) was saying we NEEDED to have pumpkins on our porch.  She felt like it wasn't Halloween.

Let me interrupt this story to share that she is SO her mother's daughter.  I would feel so bummed out growing up if things didn't seem "festive" enough.  I wanted the multi-colored, flashing lights on the Christmas tree (poor Mom always obliged, even though she liked the white ones), and I liked leaves and pumpkins and Halloween-ish things in the Fall. 

SO, we told Anna we wouldn't carve a pumpkin this year.  BUT Kevin did buy each child a small pumpkin of their own.  Which they LOVED.

***

I baked Chocolate Pumpkin Shortbread Bars.

Yum.

And I enjoyed them on my 1940s antique saucer (thrifting find) with a glass of (homemade) iced caramel coffee.  I didn't share any with the kids.

***

Mary Lu turned 1.

***

Biniam and Yosef turned 6.

***

Lots of other things too, like completing our adoption training, getting fingerprint appointments, applying for adoption grants, the list goes on.  Fall is one of my very favorite seasons, and it's no wonder: so much celebrating to do!  Happy Fall!

A funny peek into my life

I just KNEW I had to share this on my blog when I saw it.  Partly because it's so darn funny, and partly because I have had this SAME CONVERSATION more times than I could possibly count.  Other adoptive parents will know what I mean.  I could literally have written this script.  In about ten seconds.

Thankfully we belong to a church and a community that generally don't bat an eye when it comes to our family, but before we moved here, it felt like this was the.on.ly.con.ver.sa.tion I would have.  (Why is that?  I have no clue.  Is it because we live in a more liberal, diverse city now as opposed to a more conservative small town?  No idea.)  I really have had times (at the park, playgroups, church) where I've felt that people didn't want to pursue getting to know me because they wrote me off as a crazy nonhuman kid lady (kind of like an old crazy cat lady, but much, much worse).

And yet also thankfully, I've reached a point in my life where I truly don't care.  I am who I am, I have five children, and yes two of them are adopted.  I'm not a saint, or a glutton for punishment, or a humanitarian.  I'm a mom.

So, enjoy.  And if you meet a mom-to-many at a park or a birthday party, don't be afraid to get to know her and please don't act like she has 250 cats.  She is probably pretty awesome and, at the very least, has some entertaining stories to tell!  :)

(I came across this video on a blog I regularly read and always enjoy, Storing Up Treasures.  You should go check it out!  If for no other reason than she makes some fantastic videos on YouTube.)

Cousins

We spent part of last Friday at the zoo with my sister-in-law Rachel and my nieces Aubrey and Ainsley. 

Ainsley and Kaitlyn are roughly the same age.

And they are so.stinking.cute. together.

Rachel got this picture of them "hiding" in some huge rocks.

When they were SUPPOSED to be walking with us so we could leave.

I so love this age that they're at. 

And that they giggle so much with each other.

Did I mention they're really cute???

Mary on a Saturday

I just read this pair of blogposts.  And I really liked them.  Thought they were beautiful.  Such interesting food for thought.

How Mary brought me back to Jesus, part 1

How Mary brought me back to Jesus, part 2

For the past six years or so I've developed an interest in church history.  Partly because I love history, and partly because I was tired of believing things without understanding WHY.  My study Bible says this passage means such and such, but this other denomination/group/scholar says it means THIS...sheesh.  Whatever you believe, you cannot make the argument that any given passage can't be taken a variety of ways.  And people do.

Anyway.

I read a book, Evangelical is Not Enough: The Worship of God Through Liturgy and Sacrament by Thomas Howard.  And LOVED it.  I cannot recommend it enough.  And it's where I developed a love for and interest in the sacraments and liturgy as a means to worship God.  We joined a church that utilizes both--the first time I belonged to a church that did this.  I wouldn't go back the other way now.  I love the fullness of it.

I also developed a great curiosity about the Roman Catholic Church and the Reformation and the "why's" behind all of that.  I discovered that there is a lot--a LOT--of misinformation out there surrounding all of this stuff.  Including the "hero" Martin Luther.  I guess I'm one of those people who thinks the Reformation wasn't all good.  Some good came of it, but I also believe much was lost, and has yet to be recovered.

So a friend pointed me towards these blogposts yesterday, and I enjoyed reading this woman's perspective.  I'm still not sure how I ultimately feel about the Marian doctrines, but I DO think there is much, much more to Mary the mother of Jesus than I have previously believed.  She was blessed among women, afterall.  Chosen to be Jesus' mother.  That in and of itself is astounding. 

Does anyone else ever think about these things?  I partially blame my husband, because he is the one who got me hooked on Catholic theology.  So yeah, it's all his fault. 

7 Quick Takes Friday {#12}

1.)  Dear friends are so good for the soul.  If you've hung around here for any length of time, then you know I am quite introverted.  And I'm a homebody.  So sometimes I am inclined to not go somewhere or to bow out of doing something because I simply want to be at home.  I need that downtime.  But yesterday afternoon I had such precious time with friends--and I didn't realize how much I needed it until I was there, chatting and laughing and suggesting things for my friends to blog about.  (Are you like me?  Do you not love reading what your good friends write?)  I've been fighting this dumb cold for about a week now and considered just spending the afternoon at home.  But I'm so, so glad that I didn't. 


2.)  I'm in the midst of reading three, yes THREE, books right now.  And it's kind of fun.  Currently sitting on my nightstand are: Better Late Than Early, Love and War, and The Lamb's Supper: The Mass as Heaven on Earth.  I know, pretty random titles that seemingly have little in common--except that their contents are sharing space in my mind.  I'm enjoying the books for the most part, although I honestly don't think I'm on the same wavelength as John Eldredge (author of Love and War).  He seems to paint the respective genders with a pretty broad brush, and I'm just not relating to the book.  (I'm going to finish it though.  And I DO appreciate how he emphasizes the spiritual significance of marriage.)  Better Late Than Early is WONDERFUL and fascinating and I will share more about it later I'm sure.  The Lamb's Supper is also super interesting so far.  For the past few years I've been interested in Catholicism and church history as I seek to understand why on earth I believe the things I believe.  A strange quest to be sure (that actually began more or less with nagging questions about the church's historic stance on contraception.  Go figure.)  Anyway, I have since discovered the gold mine that is Catholic scholarship and literature and yes, theology.  All things I ignored lo these many Evangelical Protestant years.  I could probably do an entire blogpost about this, but I don't feel ready yet.  I feel like I'm still in the middle of this journey.  At any rate, this book is about an interpretation of Revelation which describes the Roman Catholic Mass.


3.)  There are all these ethical questions rattling around in my brain right now (also taking up space) in regards to an organization that I would so love to raise funds and awareness for, but I'm just not sure about it.  Do you ever have that happen, where you're SO wanting to get behind something, to support it, but you keep  having twinges of "there are too many things wrong with it?"  Well, that's how I feel.  No answers yet but I'm leaning towards "no."  Bummer.  Because I think some of the work they do is excellent.  See, now I'm feeling undecided again.  Around and around I go...


4.)  I love how God is in the little things.  Yesterday my daughter wore a new shirt to our homeschool co-op that she just wasn't sure about.  Was concerned she looked like a "rock star" and "not a kid" (though I have NO clue why, as the shirt was super cute and there was NOTHING rockstar-ish about it!)  She was worried her friends were going to laugh at her (????!!!!) and I just kept telling her that she looked beautiful and not to worry about what others thought.  WELL, when I picked her up after school, she shyly told me that she'd been wrong, and I was right.  "About what?" I asked.  "My shirt!" she exclaimed.  Turns out my friend's daughter (who is 12 and seriously one of the greatest kids EVER) saw Anna, said hi, and told her she liked her shirt!  Made my kid's day.  So, so sweet.


5.)  I've been eating way too much Halloween candy.  It's awful.  What more can I say?


6.)  Also on the topic of food, when I had kidney stones I stopped drinking soda (so I could drink water and rid my body of those vile calcified objects) and, guess what?  I don't crave soda anymore.  It is INSANE how once you stop, you have no desire for the stuff.  I had some yesterday and it was okay, but so not the treat it used to be.  (Is it weird if I miss enjoying it so much?  Is this how ex-smokers feel?)


7.)  While at the grocery store yesterday, an announcement came over the loudspeaker saying that they were giving FREE samples of PEPPERMINT MOCHAS at the Starbucks counter.  Um, yes please!!!  Kaitlyn, Mary and I made a beeline over there.  Seriously.  We pretty much ran.  Because I was actually paranoid that they'd all be gone by the time I showed up.  But of course they weren't.  And it was so, sooooo good--definitely worth running through the store with my cart and two kids.  Kind of like on that show "Supermarket Sweep."  And probably the most exercise I've had in years!

***

As always, if you want to participate in 7 Quick Takes Friday, go to Conversion Diary and link up!  Happy weekend all!

Adoption and Down syndrome: the background

I am so excited to share with you some more about how we made the decision to move forward with the adoption of  our two little sweeties, each born with an extra chromosome.

First though, I do need to humbly say that this decision has already been made.  If you don't think we should be doing this, I respectfully ask that you please keep that to yourself.  These are our children we're talking about, and the papers have been signed.  The ship has sailed.  Thank you for your understanding.

***

I remember the night I first found Adeye's beautiful blog.  She wrote about what was happening in Ukraine as she worked to bring home two sweet little girls, and I was transfixed.  One thing led to another and I began browsing through the Reece's Rainbow website, wishing I was some sort of adoption superhero so I could adopt each and every one of those sweet babes. 

WARNING:  Don't go there unless you want your heart ripped out of your chest.  Really.  So.much.preciousness (I seriously want to cuddle all of those cute kiddos!) and yet so much sadness, because time is running out for these children.  Who are so desperately loved by God.  Created uniquely by him.  How His heart must ache.

So began our research of Trisomy 21.  We've read books and articles and talked to parents and watched videos.  Our eyes were opened to what is simultaneously one of the most vulnerable and amazing populations in the world.

In terms of making a decision for our family, our questions ultimately boiled down to this practicality: what would daily life look like parenting a child with Down syndrome?  We already have five young children, and I truly believe that each of us is equipped by God to do certain things at any given time, at the exclusion of others.  I also believe this changes over time--someday maybe God WILL call us to adopt older children, or ask us to become foster parents, or send us to China.  We will gladly follow.  But today, as far as I can tell, He is not calling us into those places.

It became apparent though that daily life with a child born with Down syndrome is just that...daily life.  There's a campagin called "More Alike Than Different" and I think that sums it up quite nicely.  Children with Down syndrome play and attend school and have fun and get angry just like the rest of us.  They meet their milestones, but oftentimes later.  They often need special services (speech or physical therapy for example) to help them meet those milestones.  They are mainstreamed in classrooms and graduate high school and attend college and get jobs.  And oftentimes get married.  We became convinced that the rhythms of daily life with a child with Down syndrome are really not much different than what we're already doing.

The future is something we also discussed.  Many adults with Down syndrome live independently, or semi-independently, although some remain at home.  Are we open to the possibility of an adult child living with us?  As we explored this question we came to two conclusions:

1.)  This question is, in this case, largely ridiculous.  :)  Because family is family.  We are parents to our children whether they are one or twenty-one.  I have no--literally NO--desire to completely abandon any and all parenting duties once a child turns 18.  This is seriously a part of the Western mindset that I don't get.  I'm reminded of John Piper's book Don't Waste Your Life, where he talks about how the goal should NOT be an easy retirement on the beach collecting  seashells (or something like that).  I have to say I agree.  I don't ever see myself checking out of life or out of my kids' lives.  I want to serve God with the "reckless abandon" Oswald Chambers talked about.  God called me to motherhood nearly seven years ago and I can either embrace it or merely endure it.  I look forward to enjoying my children when they're adults, being a grandparent, and creating an environment where they know they are always welcome in my home.  (I am an independent woman and I have very independent kids, so I don't have any desire to control the lives of my adult children.  But I DO desire to have good, strong, close relationships with them.)

2.)  I can't predict the future.  Neither can you.  Sure you can plan and hope and work towards goals.  But none of us knows what lies ahead.  Who's to say something won't happen where YOUR child needs to live at home for a time as an adult?  AND, who's to say my children with Down syndrome WILL live at home?  They may want to move out and get roommates, or live in a college dorm, or get married, or simply live by themselves.  To say "no" to a child  because there's the POSSIBILITY that they will remain at home years down the line seems ridiculous.  God made these children and He desires they have families.  I really believe that.  Who are we to tell the Lord that the cost is simply and potentially too high?  Not to mention, these are our CHILDREN we're talking about.  We love our children.  I don't look forward to any of them leaving.  An empty nest seems overrated to me (most days, anyway!) and like too low of a life-goal.  We live for today.  Tomorrow has enough troubles of its own.

Eventually we came to the seemingly-natural conclusion that Down syndrome was indeed something that we were open to.  Not because we're anything special, but because God is incredibly faithful.  He made these children.  They are precious in his sight.  We have the resources (which really just amount to a home equity line of credit, love, and trust in a God so much bigger than any of it) to do something, and, well, we're doing it.  Some days with more trust than others. 

Because like anything else, this is a journey of faith.  And I want to shout from the rooftops that you can do it too.  You can start the adoption process for the relatively-low cost of an application fee, and watch God work mightily.  Your life can be transformed and your world can be opened in new and amazing ways.  You can watch miracles happen and be humbled by the support and encouragement you receive from friends and from strangers.  Yes, strangers.  Your heart can break in a million and one pieces, and yet be strengthened at the same time as you ponder God's goodness and mercy in the life of a precious child who now calls you "mom".

I guess I just really want people to know.  That THERE ARE KIDS NEEDING HOMES RIGHT THIS MOMENT.  We can all do SOMEthing.  We HAVE to do something.  Our girlies happened to land at a transition home where they receive love and food and even some therapies.  And it's run by a quality agency that wants these girls to find a family.  But many of the little ones listed on Reece's Rainbow are not generally so fortunate. 

Won't you pray about the possibility of adoption?  If not, what about financially helping a family in the process of adopting?  How about hosting an online Usborne book show this month?  Where the proceeds go to a family adopting a child with Down syndrome?  I look forward to exploring ways that you can help in the coming weeks.  I want to speak up for these children.  And we can all play a part.

For now I'll simply say that I feel blessed beyond words that my part involves receiving two sweet new daughters.  How lucky am I?

Book show and a few near-misses

Some fun stuff to tell you all about in the upcoming weeks.  Today I'll be talking about a sweet opportunity for you to support a cause while shopping for books.  Total win-win.

Friends, I'm hosting an online Usborne Book Show!

Some dear friends have a nonprofit called Sharing Their Story.

Angela has also recently started her very own Usborne business.

And proceeds from this show go to their organization!

Cool, huh?

SO, head on over and grab some books.  They are shipped directly to you (how convenient is that?!), and if you haven't seen Usborne before, you really should.  They're WONDERFUL!  (I'm even considering signing up as a consultant, they're that great.  And I heart books.  Just in case you didn't know.  :)  )



***
We're all still battling colds over here, trying to get well before Yosef and Biniam's birthday party Friday night.  Yesterday I did make it out of the house to vote, although it seems like my peeps never really win.  (Do you feel that way too?)  I have to tell you (well I don't REALLY have to, but I'm going to anyway) that on my nighttime voting excursion, I may or may not have come within inches of hitting some joggers with my car.  So if that was you running near the University of Denver campus last night, I really am sorry.  Apparently I was distracted thinking about how weird it is that Mayor Hickenlooper's main opponent for governor was a third-party candidate, and by the idea that our church small group was arriving and I still needed to clean up dinner and put all the sheets that I washed back on our bed.  But not to worry dear readers, I didn't ACTUALLY run anybody over, and I immEDiately made up the bed and cleaned up the kitchen the MOMENT I hit the door.  Whew.  Those were some majorly close calls!

Sweet Sunday

On Sunday Anna read the scripture passage right before the sermon.  In front of the entire church.


She was super nervous, but did a great job.  We were so proud of her!


I  love getting to see my kids take part in the church service.  Last year, during advent, they got to serve as candlelighters one week.  I don't know if I've ever seen them concentrate as hard as they did carrying the huge (lighted!) candle lighter thingy all the way up the aisle!  (Needless to say, I'm glad they were concentrating.  :) )

Faith is so real to my children.  I'm not just saying that, it's really true.  They all love Jesus.  They all love church and it is such a safe, happy place for them to be.  Which is as it should be.  They joyfully help with tear-down nearly every Sunday after the service--I honestly don't know how much "help" it actually is, but they at least are able to put a thing or two away.  (We meet at a college campus and don't have our own building.)  Two weeks ago, this may or may not have resulted in a child accidentally spilling wine all over themselves.  But, it's worth it. 


Kids learn a lot about God through church.  For better or worse.  And not necessarily from the lesson, either.  They learn from the prayer times and from the liturgy and from the people.  Maybe especially from the people.  They learn through observing the sacraments and rejoicing in the sweet baby girl's baptism we saw yesterday.  They learn through the confession of sin we do every single week.  I'd say they are learning to love God, but really, they already do.  I suppose instead I'll say that they are learning about what life with God looks like, what it means to worship Him and that you do that in many different ways.


It is so surreal to sit back and watch your children enjoying God.  Surreal in an amazing, wonderful, I-am-so-blessed sort of way.  Seeing my kids get older is so bittersweet, but on days like this one, it was all sweet.

My big girl before church.  She really was smiling, but it looks more like squinting because of the sun.  :)


Kevin and I give a lot of thought to what we teach our kiddos about Jesus, God, faith and the Bible.  I pray my children will continue to have soft hearts for God, and that we as their parents will have wisdom in training them up in the way they should go.  And even though our church is in the midst of some major transition right now (and it pretty much has been ever since we began attending two and a half years ago, which is mildly frustrating), it has been a pretty great place for us to land.  It was just what we needed.  (More on that later, perhaps.)  And the people there have embraced our family in a way that is far beyond what I could have imagined.


Who knows how long we'll be in this particular faith community--no plans to go anywhere, and I don't think going from church to church is really the intention, so I'm just talking out loud--but I do know that it will always hold a pretty special place in my kids' hearts.  A solid piece of their journey to love and know God and "work out their salvation".  I certainly don't think your spiritual life is reduced to what you do at church, by any means, but I do think Jesus intended it to be a pretty big component.  


So it's awesome seeing my kids wholeheartedly embrace this part of their faith in such a beautiful way.  On Sunday, I got to see my daughter reading to our church about creation from God's Word.  Be still my heart.

Halloween 2010

Well another October 31st has come and gone!


We spent the evening trick-or-treating in our neighborhood, and are now the proud owners of between 10 and 15 pounds of candy.  Ew.  (Don't get me wrong, I really kind of love candy...but that MUCH candy is insane.  And I don't think my kids scored any Coconut M&Ms.  Which I would GLADLY eat ten pounds of.  Because a dear sweet friend just gave me some and I can't.stop.thinking. about them.  They are THAT good.  I think I need to blog a homage to these coco-nutty delights.)


I love going door to door around here.  There are leaves EVERYwhere, and lots of people are out and about with their coffee and beer wishing each other a Happy Halloween.  So very festive.  Everyone gets into it, but it's not overly crowded.  Love it.

We had a policeman, pirate, fairy godmother, lion, and "flying Dorothy" (Kaitlyn wanted to be Dorothy from The Wonderful Wizard of Oz, but also wanted to wear her fairy wings.  So, she declared that she was a flying Dorothy.  She loved getting to wear her "ruby shoes.") 

Anna was scolding a ghost or something in the above picture.  Obviously the other three kids were more interested in getting some treats.  :)

After much procuring of candy, we headed home and put on pjs to watch It's the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown.  The kids had a great time last night and it was, as always, downright hilarious for Kevin and I to watch them run from house to house.  It is painfully evident though that the kids don't need us along.  At all.  We go for safety's sake, but they are more than capable of running this operation themselves.  Really.  We may as well have not even been there eating their candy reminding them to say thank you lurking in the shadows.

And yet while I'm currently battling a cold, I would NOT have missed the trick-or-treating for anything.  Kids are small for such a short time and it's seriously one of my favorite things to see them enjoying themselves so much.  Mary was mostly unimpressed, but as always it's so sweet to have her along.


Today though it's back to the usual grind: homeschooling and doing things around the house.  In spite of my cold we have somehow already done math, history, and literature.  Yay!


I hope you too had a fun and memorable day yesterday.  It's November now and while I have no clue what happened to October, I know that it was a lot of fun.


*Today's my final day of linking up to SITS.  Thanks for reading!*