Friday, December 02, 2011

Surgery today

Well, she did it.

My girl had open heart surgery today.

She's in the Cardiac ICU now, and doing great.  The surgeon was successful in repairing the hole and valve defects in her heart(!), and no blood transfusion has been needed so far (although that may change, because her red blood cell count is low.)

Kevin's home with our other kiddos now (after spending the day with me at the hospital), so it's just me and (sleeping) Mekdes hanging out.

Today has been a complete and utter whirlwind of activity and emotion.  Hospital days are exhausting in every possible way, especially when the stakes are high.  I'm so, so tired, and trying to process the whole thing, and praying that recovery continues to progress well, and missing my husband and other children, and wanting to see Mekdes' huge smile so very badly.

Yet even through my sleepy haze, I am totally and utterly in awe of God's working in the life of my daughter. 

There's something really profound about having a child who was not born to you, who does not in any way exist because of you.  Who would have been here even if you never were.  So the more I learn about this beautiful little girl, the more amazed I am by her soft, sweet heart and fierce determination.  She is calm in the face of seemingly insurmountable odds.  She smiles even when things are hard or confusing.  She knows what she wants...and refuses to give up.  She never, ever gives up.  She reflects God's beauty in countless new ways.

I talked to Kevin on the phone awhile ago, and he asked me how worried I'd actually been today about something going dreadfully wrong.  The truth is that I WAS worried about that...but I also knew that God is writing an incredible story with her life.  Every new chapter a testimony to God's grace, mercy and love.  That DOESN'T mean things won't go wrong, but it does mean that I can tangibly see God's faithfulness to my daughter, and I trust Him.

Last night, as Mekdes received the Sacrament of the Sick (for the second time in the mere two months she's been with us) and Father Daniel laid his hands on her head, she broke out in a huge smile.  God's provision was so evident in that moment.  A miracle.  And tonight when they took her breathing tube out and she cried, and I cried right along with her because my baby girl was afraid, God's provision was on display yet again.  A miracle.  Because Mekdes lost her first parents--and had nobody--but still God was there, and God did have a plan, and so in spite of her rocky start in life she now has a goofy mom whose eyes well up with tears when the breathing tube comes out.

Tonight my plan is to get some good sleep (thank you Children's Hospital for your window-less, private sleeping rooms) and hopefully be a comfort to Mekdes tomorrow.  Thank you SO MUCH for all of your prayers, and I'll plan to blog a little each day to keep you updated.

But for now, it's time for some much needed sleep.

It's been a big day.


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