Helping Haiti necklace!

My dear friend's kids, Mia and Noah, are making and selling these gorgeous necklaces here. They're $10, and all the proceeds go to relief efforts in Haiti! I just ordered mine, so hop on over there and get yours!

And encouraged

So after my last blogpost, I just had to share that Mary has been napping, IN HER BASSINET, for hours. Hours, people! The longest nap she's ever taken. By far. What a gift!

I think I've used the time wisely. I:

relaxed and read blogs
vacuumed the entire downstairs
got two loads of laundry going
cleaned both bathrooms
enjoyed listening to my older four kids playing Barbies together

Tonight we're having leftovers for dinner, Kevin's on his way home, and this has sure shaped up to be a great afternoon.

Even if Kaitlyn just gleefully announced that she threw up. Now she's gleefully cleaning it up. Herself.

Life as a mom is an adventure. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. And throw up or no throw up, my baby has been napping all afternoon, so I remain encouraged!

S t r e t c h e d

I so don't want to whine on my blog.

But the last couple of weeks have been hard!

We're settling back in after having been gone for 2+ weeks. Mary's awake a lot more during the day, and lately is really only happy when I'm holding her. This is difficult when you have four additional children, are trying to homeschool, and maintain a clean home. Not to mention I've been fighting off some sort of sinus infection. And taking care of Anna, who has a bad cold. I guess I just feel a little discouraged.

And stretched. Not like I have too much on my plate or anything, because I really don't. But stretched in the sense of feeling like I have very limited freedom to do the few things I need to do. I spend a lot of time sitting on the couch with Mary--yes, it's quite nice, but it's also hard because other things aren't getting done. It's actually revealing because I'm learning things about myself, most of which are not so great. :)

Like, I'm impatient. (Okay I already knew that about myself!) And I've internalized far too much of our culture's value system. There are probably others. Such as a crummy attitude, and a proclivity to doubt myself or decisions I've made (homeschooling for example--wouldn't it just be so much easier if my kids were away during the day?)

But the thing is, I really do want to give myself, all of me, away to Jesus. I don't want to withhold my life, my resources, time or affections from God, or from building His kingdom. I read about what's happening in Haiti and I'm reminded that I can't AFFORD to hold back, there is so much to be done. That includes meeting the needs of my sweet 3 month old.

Some days you just grit your teeth and hang on for dear life. Instead of hating those days, I'm trying to find ways to embrace them. Maybe I wouldn't CHOOSE them, but God can redeem them. We serve an amazing, huge, powerful God and unfortunately I forget so often why He created me and what my purpose is. Motherhood is not for the faint of heart. Neither is following Jesus.

So what does my day look like today? In a minute I'm going to get a cup of coffee. I'll take a shower, do my daily Bible-in-90-days reading, get the kids lunch, make Anna some jello...and try get rid of my ridiculous litmus tests for what a "good" day looks like. Productivity is not the be-all, end-all. Some days, my job is to simply sit and love and serve. Not such a bad gig, if you think about it.

Nighty night

I love pictures of sleeping babies. This was Mary Lu taking a nap in her favorite spot (my lap) on Thanksgiving weekend.

Nothing really to share. Kids are tucked in. I'm about to watch Beetlejuice with Kevin. Ice cream forthcoming.

No matter what kind of day I have, nighttime is most definitely always sweet. I love the time I get to spend with my husband, and it never, ever gets old.

Why now? (And, why NOT now?)

Something I'm thinking about today is all the attention focused on Haiti since the earthquake happened. Lots of time and money and prayers invested, thinking about these precious men, women and children...we've been shaken from our usual complacency. That's a good thing. Maybe.

See Haiti wasn't really on most people's radar screens before this earthquake happened. But it was hurting. And incredibly impoverished. Countless orphans waiting for families. People dying of what should be preventable causes. Many hungry and starving. God sees these things all the time, but we only see them when we want to. Or when the media tells us to look. (I will again recommend Tracy Kidder's Mountains Beyond Mountains. It's awesome.)

If we care about the vulnerable children of Haiti, let's really DO something. After we send our money to Red Cross, let's pursue an adoption of a waiting child somewhere in the world. Or become a foster parent. Or give away a bunch of money to build a well somewhere. Or commit to permanently downsizing something in our life in order to continue giving to Haiti, even after CNN has stopped talking about it.

I'm wondering if our hearts start becoming numb to people and tragedies, if we simply endure one media frenzy after another, give a few bucks, and then go right back to our lattes and iphones and "reality" TV shows?

Sorry if I sound cynical. I'm thankful that the world is focused on Haiti right now. I feel so sad for Haiti, but some of that sadness is over the fact that it's taken their capital city getting obliterated for the world to take notice of their situation. (Of course I know that any time there is a major natural disaster, attention will shift there, and that IS a good thing.)

Guess I just wanted to remind everyone, including myself, that there are kids sitting around all over the world today waiting for families. There are hungry women unable to feed their babies, there are families struggling to survive in refugee camps. Instead of despairing or just wringing our hands, we can do something. And we should.

A challenge

Our church is doing this thing right now called Read the Bible in 90 days. Oh yes. The whole Bible. It averages to something like twelve chapters per day, and I'm really trying to do it.

I'm a pretty fast reader, but even so, it's daunting. I'm excited because our Community Group is pretty into it, and it was so fun last night to talk about the various stories in Genesis, what we thought about them, etc.

Overall we're really liking our church. We've met some wonderful people and I love love love the emphasis on liturgy and sacrament, which is something I had not fully experienced in church before. A really great book about this by the way is Thomas Howard's Evangelical is Not Enough: Worship of God in Liturgy and Sacrament. (Don't be scared by the title--even if you don't agree with his particular end conclusion, it's not a preachy book, just his observations and experience.)

So, yeah, I'm attempting to read the Bible cover-to-cover in 90 days. Yikes. (Don't think I won't be skimming the various geneologies and temple requirements though. Even if Kevin says that's cheating.)

Where my thoughts are today

Right now I really ought to be cleaning my kitchen and putting a load of laundry into the washer. Instead I'm reading articles and praying and now blogging.

About Haiti.

As if things aren't difficult enough there...and now this.

Just a couple of resources for anyone interested. I've read this blog off and on for years. It's the Livesay family living in Haiti. They're amazing. Today I'm hanging on every word, because it's like having a bird's eye view of what's happening.

Then, I read this interesting article--the title caught my eye. I LOVE this quote from St. Jerome that the author included:

"I cannot help them all, but I grieve and weep with them, and am completely absorbed in the duties that charity imposes on me. Today we must translate the precepts of the Scriptures into deeds. Instead of speaking saintly words, we must act them."

Please remember the people of Haiti in your prayers today, and consider making a donation. You can donate through Compassion, World Vision, Red Cross, and at the end of the article I linked to, there are three additional organizations. (I'm sure there are many more as well.) And if you're interested in learning more about Haiti, I definitely recommend the book Mountains Beyond Mountains by Tracy Kidder. I started it a few weeks ago and it's excellent.

Not sure how to wrap up this scattered post. As I go about my daily routine, hopefully I'll remember to pray for Haiti, and to thank God for the blessings He gives me that I inevitably take for granted.

Siblings and friends

One of my biggest fears when we adopted our sons nearly 4 years ago was that my children wouldn't get along with each other. Probably not unusual to worry about that when your 2 year old daughter gains two 16-month-old brothers literally overnight. And it wasn't like they were little babies or anything--Anna's new brothers were her peers.







In reality, anytime you think about the prospect of having several children, you think about their quality of life. Especially when you yourself are an only child and have no concept of siblings, period. When our family went from one to three children, we knew it was what God wanted, yet still I worried about how that would look for our kids. And when Kaitlyn was born, again, I was confident that every child is a gift from God...but how will the bigger kids feel? Then, when Mary came on the scene, I wondered how Kaitlyn would feel? Will life be reduced to mediating squabbles and trying to calm resentful kids who just want their own bedroom?

Happily, the simple answer to that is "no." My kids are friends. Best friends, really. They play together literally all day, every day. From day one really, the older kiddos have included Kaitlyn in their activities. Not because I asked them to, but because they want to. In spite of the fact that she's two and a half years younger than Yosef and Biniam, and three years younger than Anna. And that has translated into her being part of the group, self-confident and terribly in love with her older brothers and sister.

Now there's a new baby, and the only strife that has come from adding #5 has been the occasional argument over who gets to hold her. :) Not a bad problem to have.

Please don't get me wrong. My kids argue, have trouble sharing, and hurt each other's feelings from time to time. (Which drives me nuts.) But in the general day to day life around here, they're friends. I can't predict what the future will hold, or if they'll always be close, and I don't know what the recipe is for getting your kids to get along. I DO know that God calls children "good", and that if you're considering adding a child to your family through birth or adoption, you can feel encouraged. That by God's grace, having a large-ish family doesn't automatically sentence your kids to constant fighting. It DOES, however, mean your children will have the potential to have lots of friends. Hopefully for life.

A first time for everything

Unmotivated

(I cannot hear the word "motivated" without thinking about a scene in the original British version of The Office where Ricky Gervais' character is talking about him getting people "all motivated." Because he's "an entertainer." Heehee!)

So I am having a HORRIBLE time settling back in after our trip! There's no shortage of housework to do, things to put away, meals to plan, or groceries to buy...but I'm just plain unmotivated. I'm not sure why it's so difficult this time around--maybe because we came back on a weekday, Kevin returned to work right away, and there was no down-time? I have no clue. I DO know that my poor kids desperately need a bath, and I MUST get to the store in the next couple of days.

I think I at least have a meal plan for tonight (which will hopefully include homemade baked beans, which I have been dying to make but never think of in time, since it's an hours-long process), which is a huge load off my mind. Is there anything worse than not knowing what to make for dinner? I think not.

What I AM motivated to do is sit around in my pjs and read. I just started No Greater Love by Mother Teresa, which is a.ma.zing. So far I've just read the first part, on prayer, and there is so much to think about...I am always so challenged by her wisdom and her faith.

Now it's time to stop blogging, retrieve my crying baby already awake from her (brief) nap, and get some stuff done. OR maybe I'll sit down with my book...

The honest truth

I recently received this award from my friend Kristen! And so, without further ado, here are ten honest things about me:

1.) I love being home. As in, I'm a total homebody. I can go days without going to the store or whatever and be perfectly content.

2.) I'm a tourist at heart. I love visiting historical or famous places. I've even been known to take a detour if I see something interesting on a roadtrip, while Kevin is napping in the passenger seat. Shhhh.

3.) I am terrified of flying. Yes I still fly when I need to, because I refuse to let irrational fear rule my life, but I hate it. The entire flight I'm sitting there paranoid that the plane is going to crash. Or be hijacked by terrorists. SO STUPID, but it is what it is.

4.) My husband and I don't use contraception. Years ago we came to some convictions about it, and then more recently were inspired and challenged by a book called Covenanted Happiness. (The book is written by a Roman Catholic and, among other things, explores the traditional church teaching on contraception throughout the centuries. Did you know that Protestants and Catholics were united on this until the 1940s or so?)

5.) I have no desire to own a pet. I'm so not into them. And I must admit to feeling a little annoyed when people refer to said pets as their "kids." Um, no. Kids are kids, and pets are, well, animals.

6.) I could very easily become a vegetarian. Meat is really not my thing, in general. I'm that person who thinks the various side-dishes are the best part of Thanksgiving, I prefer spinach in my lasagna and veggies on my pizza, and I could basically live on salad. Oh how I love me a big salad!

7.) I enjoy watching strange things on TV, like surgeries and specials with titles like "The World's Fattest Man." You can have your Heroes and So You Think You Can Dance (neither of which I have ever seen), but as for me, I would rather watch educational programming where I get to learn interesting facts--kangaroos have three vaginas, for example. (We don't have cable, or satellite, so I don't tend to catch these things too often.)

8.) I think most magazines are ridiculous. Cosmo, Glamour, People, etc. Give me a break!

9.) I think the movie A Mighty Wind is hil.ar.i.ous. I quote it all the time. Best in Show is great too...Basically, I think Christopher Guest is a genius.

10.) Kevin was my first real boyfriend. We met in college. I had lots of good friends in high school, but never dated. It just seemed like a waste of time if you weren't in a place to be looking for a husband. (Apparently I'm all about efficiency.) And when Kevin and I started going out, we mutually decided that it was a process to decide if we would marry or not--in fact, his asking me to be his girlfriend came on the heels of what can only be described as a business meeting. Because we're cool like that. And clearly it all worked out. We've been married nearly 8 years and I'm so, so happy to be the wife of such a great, Godly, funny guy.

So there you have it. Ten assorted, random truths about me. If you're reading this, you can consider yourself "tagged"!

Home

After a whirlwind two-week trip to both Northern and Southern California, we are back in Denver.

We had amazing times with dear friends, some of the best people I know.

There were people we wanted to see, but ran out of time. Hopefully next year.

Christmas is always ten times sweeter when it's your baby's first.

One year ago on December 31st, I lost my baby. This year on December 31st, I got to watch Mary Lu nap in her grandpa's arms. God is gracious in ways I will never understand.

And it's good to be back in Denver. I do feel lonely for our old life in California, but thrilled about our current life in Colorado. I suppose it's a blessing to love where you come from AND where you are now.

I'm hoping to do a bit more blogging going forward. I cherish this way of remaining connected to friends near and far. Right now, though, it's time to hold Mary. Finish making dinner. Put some more laundry away.

It's good to be home.

I'm over here!

Come on over to my friend Lisa's blog. That's where I'm blogging today!

Gifts with a purpose

I'm checking in amidst the holiday busy-ness to let all you crazy, super-last-minute gift buyers (like me) know about some cool gift ideas over here at From HIV to Home. Check it out! (The necklace is amazing. I have one and wear it all.the.time. And for all you SLO gals, it's designed by Lisa Leonard!) But you gotta act fast, 'cause Christmas is almost here. :)

5 for 5 Day 3

Do you have an extra $5?

December 1st was World AIDS Day.

And marked the beginning of the Five for Five campaign.

You can give just $5 per day, for five days, and support five different projects around the world that are caring for children who are HIV+.

Today's project is Lola Children's Home in Ethiopia. Please visit From HIV to Home to participate! And then help spread the word!