Siblings and friends

One of my biggest fears when we adopted our sons nearly 4 years ago was that my children wouldn't get along with each other. Probably not unusual to worry about that when your 2 year old daughter gains two 16-month-old brothers literally overnight. And it wasn't like they were little babies or anything--Anna's new brothers were her peers.







In reality, anytime you think about the prospect of having several children, you think about their quality of life. Especially when you yourself are an only child and have no concept of siblings, period. When our family went from one to three children, we knew it was what God wanted, yet still I worried about how that would look for our kids. And when Kaitlyn was born, again, I was confident that every child is a gift from God...but how will the bigger kids feel? Then, when Mary came on the scene, I wondered how Kaitlyn would feel? Will life be reduced to mediating squabbles and trying to calm resentful kids who just want their own bedroom?

Happily, the simple answer to that is "no." My kids are friends. Best friends, really. They play together literally all day, every day. From day one really, the older kiddos have included Kaitlyn in their activities. Not because I asked them to, but because they want to. In spite of the fact that she's two and a half years younger than Yosef and Biniam, and three years younger than Anna. And that has translated into her being part of the group, self-confident and terribly in love with her older brothers and sister.

Now there's a new baby, and the only strife that has come from adding #5 has been the occasional argument over who gets to hold her. :) Not a bad problem to have.

Please don't get me wrong. My kids argue, have trouble sharing, and hurt each other's feelings from time to time. (Which drives me nuts.) But in the general day to day life around here, they're friends. I can't predict what the future will hold, or if they'll always be close, and I don't know what the recipe is for getting your kids to get along. I DO know that God calls children "good", and that if you're considering adding a child to your family through birth or adoption, you can feel encouraged. That by God's grace, having a large-ish family doesn't automatically sentence your kids to constant fighting. It DOES, however, mean your children will have the potential to have lots of friends. Hopefully for life.