Friday, April 23, 2010

Adoption update

So we are currently working through our homestudy. We've been fingerprinted, had our physicals, and are waiting on some forms from our pediatrician regarding our current children. The bulk of what's left is stuff that needs to be notarized (Kevin has a coworker who has graciously offered to do this for us!), an insurance letter...I think that's it.

Meanwhile we finished up watching some Bryan Post training on DVD and have to answer some questions for our placing agency, mail some stuff in to them, and then we'll move on to dossier prep. Whew!

In Colorado you're required to attend several hours of face-to-face training. We went to one session already, and it was great! I loved the presenter--not only was she one of the directors of the agency and very knowledgable, but also an adoptive mom herself. We also met some wonderful people.

At the homestudy training we attended, I was a little surprised to see that everyone there was settling in for a long wait for a healthy infant. I couldn't help but think of the many waiting children, ready to be adopted! SO very many precious children needing families today, right now. No lines, no wait for adoptive parents.

I know that adopting a child with medical needs may initially sound difficult...or frightening...but I can assure you that if you meet any formerly waiting children or their families, you'll see that it's just a child, and just a family. Truly. I know amazing families with HIV+ children, children with cerebral palsy, FAS, etc. etc. These families are happy, thriving, and loving. On the one hand they are amazing, inspiring people. On the other hand, they're just regular people like you and me. That is NOT to say that it's easy. But, no matter HOW you go about adopting, it can be really hard. Lots of unknowns, past trauma, things that can affect an otherwise healthy child.

It is truly exciting that so many are opening their hearts...and yet I'm desperately hoping that viewpoints start to change and we start thinking differently about adoption.

Anyway, that's where we're at! It's a little hard to feel too excited at this point because it seems like just a lot of paperwork...but anytime I allow myself to dream about the outcome of all of it...yeah, I get excited. And nervous. But really, really excited!


Rogers Camp said...

I am so stoked you are in the adoption process! Just tonight my hubby and I were talking about the possibility of us doing foster-care and making a difference in a child's life. It's definitely something we will be praying about:)

Emily said...

I just wanted to tell you what an inspiration you are to me! I'm 27, with three small children in my home (and an amazing one at home with Jesus, too) and we have such a burden for adoption. Your family reminds me of God's power and ability to make the impossible quite possible and I hold fast to that! :)

Janee said...

It's amusing to me that we are pretty much right at the same point in our process as you, except we haven't done our training yet. =( It'll be fun to keep following along with you. What's your travel time frame looking like?

Kristen said...

I'm sure it's hard to say, but do you have a rough estimate of when you might be bringing your precious one home with you?? (Or are you guys hoping for a sibling group? I forgot what you had decided on.) So exciting!!

The Fearnsides said...

Yay! Each piece of paper work is a step closer.

I, too, wish more people would be open to a 'special needs' adoption. The name itself can sound intimidating since some s.n. are very mild or can be medically corrected. However, I could understand someone struggeling with infertility wanting to experience all the stages of babyhood.

Maybe one day we'll be blessed with the opportunity to adopt as well.

Can't wait to hear more.


Anonymous said...

I so appreciate your honesty and your desire for more waiting children to find a home, but I don't think you should take away from another families desire to have an infant. You have no idea what their situation is or what their own personal loss has been. Would I love to see everyone open thier homes up to an older child? Certainly. But I would never begrudge another couple for wanting to experience raising a child from the youngest age possible.

Sugar Plum Invitations said...

So excited for you.. paperwork is forever a pain.. but one step closer to traveling!! Does any of your old dossier help with your current one??

Regarding Anonymous... every family has to decide what they are called to. God works all things together for good, and is transforming all our hearts. Walking with Him is often surprising, but always good. No one is "better" or "braver" than another. If your passion is for a newborn, than go for it.. I just know that's not my passion.

Lizzard said...

Yay for your family! It is all very exciting to get going in the adoption process again. We have been through the adoption process twice (so far) and have 3 children who were formerly 'waiting kids'. They are so incredibly awesome in every way!! I am a huge advocate of adopting waiting kids. [And yes, in our case the adoptions were fast, and amazingly our children were young too: 10 months, 18 months, and 32 months when we brought them home (even though in our case we had requested children who were quite a bit older...) so you can never tell who is meant to be in your family! I think that the most important thing is open and accepting of what is 'meant to be'. Liz

Brianna Heldt said...

Adoption is about receiving a child, but it's also about meeting the needs of orphaned children. Is something wrong with the way we conceptualize adoption when the vast majority of us sit and wait for over a year when there are orphans already waiting?

And yes, young, healthy children need families too. But the demand FAR exceeds the supply in many countries (leading to a lot of unethical practices), while orphanages (and our foster care system) are filled with waiting children. Something is wrong.

It's worth looking at. That's all I'm saying. :)

Anonymous said...

Keep in mind that a lot of families who are adopting have gone through infertility and it is hard for many first time parents to give up the dream of having a newborn baby. I think it may be easier to adopt an older child when you are already a parent in that respect. I'm not saying it is right or wrong, but that is the reason that *some* families are seeking an infant to adopt.

Brianna Heldt said...

expecting, that is actually what i was trying to say: i believe something is wrong when adoption is first and foremost seen as a solution to a person's desire to parent a child, or meet a parent's needs. a demand is created, expectations are built, as the result unethical practices creep in and countries close down (or children languish in our own foster care system)--preventing waiting children from ever finding families.

in my opinion adoption ought to serve as a way to meet the needs of a child needing a home. and of course anyone wanting to adopt ought to want to parent those children. both needs are met.

many, many people imagine adoption as bringing a healthy, chubby, tiny baby into your family and picture those as the children needing homes. and those are often the children who grace the covers of adoption publications and websites. but that is not an accurate picture of who is actually needing homes at any given moment.

this is a controversial topic for sure. i don't think everyone ought to adopt and certainly not everyone is equipped for a medical needs adoption. but ANYone adopting a child, no matter how healthy the child is perceived to be, is adopting a child who has come from trauma and that parent should expect some challenges. MY observation is simply that it is a tragedy that children are routinely overlooked and left behind because they are older or are living with treatable illnesses while parents wait in line for healthy babies. and meanwhile when a child turns out NOT to be perfectly healthy, parents are getting upset and not wanting to parent the child any longer.

something is WRONG when people have come to believe that waiting for months (years?) to be a NORMAL part of an adoption process. someone may choose to do that, but ideally it would be an exception to the rule. that's all. :)


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