Thursday, July 15, 2010

Latest passion

No, it's not taking pictures of my kids in mundane, unexpected places like Costco (although I did do that this week.)

Nope, not scheming up a way to raise the funds to go to this conference in October (but I assure you I'm definitely thinking about it.)

Nah, not eagerly checking the mail each day in order to see if my Story of the World books have come (though you can bet I'm doing that too.)

What is it, you ask?  What is plaguing my thoughts and churning in my heart and captivating my spirit these days? 

Reece's Rainbow.  An organization devoted to the adoption of waiting children with Down Syndrome in other countries (and a few other special needs too.)  I honestly don't know how or when I first discovered them, but I have not been able to get the whole matter out of my mind.  (Reading Simply Surrender has not helped either.)

Adoption is, without question, a strange journey.  Just sooooo much to think about.  Foster adoption...healthy vs. special many variables.  Well, for us anyhow.  Because we don't really have a plan anymore.  Our plan was to adopt two specific children (with medical needs) who had been waiting quite some time for a family.  Nearly five years, to be exact.  And while we're not doing that now, we still want to do some sort of special needs/medical needs adoption.  NO clue what that will look like.  We're pretty much open to whatever.  (Apparently we're flexible like that.)  Though we are committed to Ethiopia, because we've already invested a bit of money into the program.

As we explore our options and consider what we believe we can handle and what God wants from and for our family, I am compelled by the children represented by Reece's Rainbow.  Sweet, precious little ones who need families more than ever both because of their present needs, and because of their lack of a future as developmentally disabled children living in an institution.  The world, our nation, even the church...everyone says with either words or actions (sometimes both) that these children just.plain.don't.matter.  (An entire blogpost of its own could, and should, be devoted to this, when you consider the fact that over 90% of babies with Down Syndrome are aborted in the United States.  This is so horribly tragic, I just cannot imagine how God must weep when He sees the sorry state of the world that He made.  When He considers the sweet little ones cast aside each day.  Another blogpost for another time, for sure.)

Today I'm meeting some girlfriends for lunch (always such a treat, because I have really amazing friends!) and I'm looking forward to talking through some of these things.  One of these friends is in a similar position, wondering where God might be leading her and her family in their own adoption-process-that-may-turn-out-differently-than-they'd-expected.  I'm anxious to hear her heart and what she is thinking.  How God is moving.

Deep down I'm so grateful that God continues to challenge my assumptions and plans and lead me to unexpected, hard places.  Even if it's tough, and even when I complain like a selfish, spoiled brat.  I feel really "adrift" in this doubt about it...and yet I know that God is working and has something in mind for our family.  (It's really not about me anyway!)  There is, presumably, a precious little one who needs a home that we are equipped to provide.  So incredibly humbling.  A little scary.  Pretty exciting too.

Mostly though, I'm just thinking and dreaming of these sweet little ones, so very precious and just waiting for a mama and daddy to scoop them up and love and kiss them to pieces. 


The Fearnsides said...

Brianna, you always say so eloquently what my heart is thinking as well.

Thanks a lot for giving me one more photo listing to stalk. ;)

Excited to see where God guides you guys. It's exciting to be able to hear all you are going through.


The Fearnsides said...

P.S. I would LOVE to go to that conference too!

Anonymous said...

Lunch was great today. So nice to talk to people who actually get where you're coming from and don't either a) Look at you like you're a moron and say "have you ever heard of attachment disorders?" or b) Smile sweetly and tell you how much they admire you.

Thanks for your encouragement.

Lizzard said...

Ya, I am kind of obsessed with RR too...
We can't adopt again until 1 year after the placement of our latest child (so, Dec 2010), and even then we are *probably* done, but... still I look and still my heart breaks for the children left behind...


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