So I've been thinking lately about what my identity/role as a person is, and realized that for awhile after we first got married (back in 2002), I first and foremost thought of myself as a wife. This makes sense being that we didn't have any children yet. We lived in this little apartment in Santa Barbara where we knew just about no one. We liked going out to eat, going to the movies, and visiting friends and family up in SLO. Of course that season of our lives ended in a sense when about a year later we bought a house, moved to Santa Maria and got pregnant with Anna. (Well not in that order, I just didn't know I was pregnant yet when we moved.)So anyhow, I've been thinking lately about how doing the daily grind with three kids (and being 7 months pregnant) almost makes you forget that you're a wife to a cool guy. Not that I have literally forgotten I'm married, and not that things play out much differently, but I don't really THINK about it much. And I've decided to make more of a conscious effort to do so because the truth is I LOVE being married!
Kevin and I were pretty young when we got hitched. I was 20 and he was 21. I guess we broke all the rules, because not only were we young but I wasn't done with college yet. In fact, he wasn't due to be done yet either, but ended up finding a way to graduate several months sooner than planned. We just knew we loved each other and that God wanted us to be together. And I couldn't be happier with the way it played out. I loved being married young; I have tons of super fond memories of that first year together.
And now things are even better I think. The kids are in bed at 7:30 every night, and we totally look forward to and value our "us" time. We love playing games (even if they start a fight, which sometimes they do!) like Monopoly or cards or Parcheesi. Sometimes we rent movies or watch Seinfeld or just talk. Or sit there too exhausted to move! I love that I get to feel so comfortable to just be myself with Kevin. It's always been that way, one of the things I've always loved about him. We never had to go out on extravagant dates or to special places to have a great time, which is maybe what makes our current situation (being the parents of three two year olds and a baby on the way) less daunting. We love just being together.
So those are some of my recent reflections on marriage. I love being married to Kevin and I love being a wife. It's a lot of fun and therefore I should think about it more often!
5 comments:
Being knocked up should be a constant reminder that you are married :) And you HAVE NOT gained a considerable ammount of weight, you look fabulous!
I seldom wear my ring anymore because it is a little tight and needs to be resized. But I seem to always be pregnant, breastfeeding, or pregnant again and want to resize it when I am also resized! I try to remember to wear it when I go out so people know that I have a partner in all of this and am not just permiscuous. But yes, the mom stuff seems to trump the wife stuff a lot of the time. It is just a new season of our marriage that will be over before we know it.
I have a tentative plan to go on a weekend trip with a few friends in year or two when we are not pregnant or breastfeeding. That will be a time when I remember that I am a person with needs too.
Great reminder.
And great picture, too!
I hear ya, Brianna. :)
kristen borland
this post hits close to home, our stories are so similar. we too have broken most rules, married young and tons of kids and i TOTALLY agree that i love where god has brought us! thanks for sharing! and i agree, you look great for 7m pregnant!
See, I KNEW Kevin was cool. :)
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