We are currently in the process of attempting to make some decisions. Sorry to be so vague (aka annoying, it's just like that kid at youth group who would always say they had an "unspoken" prayer request during prayertime!), but I'm not ready to share until we've arrived at an answer, either way. I promise I'll let you know once we do--I think we may be getting close. :)
I believe this happy little crossroads we're at is actually one of the toughest places I've been in, at least in recent history. NOT because our decision necessarily involves something bad, but because it's weighty. We have been spending time in prayer, conversation, the Bible, and seeking wisdom from others...all in an attempt to discern what the Lord is telling us.
Quite frankly, this whole matter of discernment has been exhausting! I actually feel tired, emotionally and spiritually. I look back on various big decisions in my life...choosing which college to attend...getting married...adopting our sons...and I have to admit that this has been the hardest to make by far. Mostly because the whole thing surprised us. Not what we were expecting to "hear" from God.
Imagine that, God busting out of the box that I constructed for Him.
Either way I think I'll look back on this as a faith-building time. I'm learning that sometimes having faith means moving forward with baby steps (or even standing still), as God directs, but that He won't always hold your hand the way He did, say, five years ago. I'm seeing too the things that hold me back: fear of the unknown, my need for control, and what others may think of me. I'm also quite aware of my own impatience...I want to know RIGHT NOW what we are supposed to do...but sometimes God says, "wait."
At this point we feel like things are coming into focus and that we are maybe ready to take the next baby step. I still don't know for sure what the outcome will be, but I do know God is not letting up. I am so humbled by this process. And I look forward to eventually sharing more of it with you!
I wonder--what are some of the hardest decisions you've had to make, or things you've had to discern?