I love you, Kaitlyn, "so, so, so, so much."
{Our family needs this girl. Big time.}
Happy 4th Birthday Katie Jane!
Monday, March 07, 2011
4 years ago today...
I love you, Kaitlyn, "so, so, so, so much."
{Our family needs this girl. Big time.}
Happy 4th Birthday Katie Jane!
Friday, March 04, 2011
7 Quick Takes Friday {#23}
1.) Anna is participating in a science fair at school next week. And I cannot even BEGIN tell you the level of anxiety I am feeling. Everyone in her science class is expected to participate by doing a project and a display. Eek! You can imagine my amusement this morning when I dropped her off at her science class, only to find the sweet teacher outside, surrounded by anxious homeschooling parents, fielding question after question about the fair. SO glad it's not just me! And if you're not a homeschool mom, then maybe you don't know the terror that strikes our hearts when our child is expected to come up with something for a class. But it is downright horrifying. Trust me.
2.) Read this over at Elizabeth Esther's blog this week. LOVE.IT. As in, I have SO much love for this post. As in, it makes me happy, happy, happy. And this may or may not have to do with the fact that I may or may not live in my yoga pants. And the built-in bra with the shirt, plus the hoodie to cover up the, uh, leakage. Mmhm. I've breastfed three babies so far, people, two of them being extended nursers, ONE of them STILL going strong at nearly 17 months old with no end in sight. I love nursing my babies. So I gotta have that hoodie.
3.) Then I read this by Rachel Held Evans. A to the MEN. OH my goodness, I have been bothered for YEARS by this strange idea within evangelicalism that women are supposed to be in full makeup with perfect hair all the time and if a man cheats it's somehow HER fault and we're all supposed to pretend that we didn't birth babies and that our hips and stomachs are the same as before and if they're not and we're not wearing makeup then he will surely cheat and, remember, if he cheats it's HER fault??!! Hello??!! Womens' bodies are designed for birth. For breastfeeding. (That's why you need a hoodie.) And let's be honest ladies: our fabulous bodies are NOT the same afterwards. They're not supposed to be. Birth is a miracle. Thus the post-birth, post-breastfeeding body is a miracle. See it as such. Quite frankly, I wasn't born wearing makeup and, guess what, I have the thickest, most wild and crazy hair that isn't straight OR curly. So I'm generally walking around with it halfway towards being one or the other. If I'm leaving the house I'll pull the flat-iron out, which basically buys me ten minutes of pretty...before it puffs up like a frizzy mushroom again. (My current haircut helps a little bit, at least. The mushroom is slightly more controlled.) But my husband loves me and thinks I'm beautiful, and most importantly my God loves me and thinks I'm beautiful, so I don't really care what random church people have to say about it. (I must say that belonging to an egalitarian-ish church, even if I don't really necessarily consider myself an egalitarian, has been a breath of fresh air in this regard.) Don't believe the myth, people.
4.) I'm really, really trying to figure out Twitter. It's like a weird, obsessive-compulsive goal I've set for myself. And not for any rational reason, I just want to be a part of it. High inclusion needs and all that. I even joined a phone conference the other day to learn more about it. (Apparently that's a complete and utter FAIL when you're yelling at your kids and doing dishes during the call. And don't judge--I had it on "mute." So no one could HEAR me yelling at my kids.) SO, if you're on Twitter, won't you "follow" me and talk to me and stuff? Pretty please?
5.) Sickness has finally left our house. YAY! I'm feeling SO much better, the kiddos are all well, and things are really looking up as a result. We have a fun weekend ahead, including Saturday night dinner at my sister-in-law and brother-in-law's home, and then we're having some new friends to dinner at our home Sunday evening. Fun!
6.) A few days ago we were driving in a nearby suburb. Outside of our own city limits. And we were behind a big truck with multiple pro-gun bumper stickers, a bumper sticker about how "we speak English in the US", and...wait for it...a replica of, um, part of a bull's anatomy hanging from the bumper. OH.MY.GOODNESS. Who IS this person? I was seriously speechless as we sat there in traffic. Well, not totally speechless--I WAS able to point it out to Kevin, who was equally dumbfounded. As if the gun- nut and random English-is-the-best-language-in-the-world-because-we-speak-it stickers weren't enough (and truly, they were), they had to have a pair of plastic bull's (gross word coming up) testicles (I warned you) on their car??!! I guess at least it was entertaining(?) A slice of Americana I rarely see. (A friend of mine thought it would be funny to secretly slap a "Free Tibet" sticker on there. I'm still laughing about that. And I think it's a fabulous idea.)
7.) Why do my children insist on eating PB&J sandwiches open-faced? When I don't serve them that way? Why do they prefer, as a result, having jelly in their hair, on their clothes, on their SOCKS? A question, like so many on this blog, for the ages.
******
Do your own Quick Takes, because it's fun. Then link to Betty Beguiles, who is guest hosting this week!
Thursday, March 03, 2011
Boundaries in marriage and Facebook
Sometimes you gotta take a break from all the adoption drama (you can literally witness my rollercoaster of a day yesterday here and here) and explore something different but equally important.
Like Facebook. :)
I read an article recently that talked about how Facebook is potentially dangerous for marriages. I was immediately interested, because I've long thought Facebook has the potential to be incredibly, um, awkward. Both my husband and I have Facebook accounts, though neither of us are particularly active on there (he less than me for sure, though. I like to read the stuff on my feed, but I don't post statuses all that often. Kevin hardly visits the site at all.)
We have a very transparent marriage to begin with, so nothing is happening in secret. We know each other's various passwords, just because, and we're both quite open about those sorts of things. That DOESN'T mean there's never an "I'm not comfortable with such-and-such" sort of social media moment. We had one of those recently, in fact.
Facebook is extra strange (and this is maybe where the danger lies) because it enables you to have conversations you wouldn't necessarily have with people you wouldn't necessarily be conversing with. In other words, members of the opposite sex, people who don't know your spouse, exes. Hmmmm. Should a wife be instant messaging (so essentially privately emailing) with another man? Should a husband be instant messaging with another woman? Does it matter?
Now neither Kevin nor I are overly concerned about any of this. We trust one another. And I think Facebook is kind of fun. But we've always had decently strong boundaries in our marriage, and maybe that's why it's more or less a non-issue, but something we've had to navigate just the same because all of a sudden we ARE in contact with random people we've known in the past. So I CAN see why and how there are potential "issues" with Facebook. And why the "rules" change a little bit when it's social media vs. "real life". It seems easier and more harmless I suppose for a member of the opposite sex to friend and message you, as opposed to call you on the phone to chat. But it's still communication. And, apparently, a factor in divorce.
So what do you all think about marriage and Facebook and social media boundaries? There's a blogpost here that includes a survey on these issues, and I enjoyed reading the responses. 'Tis a strange world we live in for sure!
Wednesday, March 02, 2011
Update on my update
Breaking news:
A friend of mine who works for our adoption agency just read my post and immediately contacted me to let me know that at least some of the paperwork is in, and the girls have been moved back to our agency's transition home, so it sounds like things are progressing.
Apparently someone was supposed to have told me a week ago, but didn't, hence my pathetic-and-sad-for-no-reason post. (There have been some major communication issues over the past few months. I am quite possibly about to lose my mind--a short trip, but still. :) )
I'm still uncertain about where we're at in terms of court, if all the necessary paperwork is in for both girls, or what it all means. But I will definitely sleep better tonight knowing our girls are back at the transition home with their familiar nannies and things and hopefully welcome bags.
Hang in there, sweet girls. We're doing our best to get you home!!!
A friend of mine who works for our adoption agency just read my post and immediately contacted me to let me know that at least some of the paperwork is in, and the girls have been moved back to our agency's transition home, so it sounds like things are progressing.
Apparently someone was supposed to have told me a week ago, but didn't, hence my pathetic-and-sad-for-no-reason post. (There have been some major communication issues over the past few months. I am quite possibly about to lose my mind--a short trip, but still. :) )
I'm still uncertain about where we're at in terms of court, if all the necessary paperwork is in for both girls, or what it all means. But I will definitely sleep better tonight knowing our girls are back at the transition home with their familiar nannies and things and hopefully welcome bags.
Hang in there, sweet girls. We're doing our best to get you home!!!
With open hands (Ethiopian adoption update)
Truth be told, I've been sitting on this update for a couple of weeks now. To be honest, it's just not fun to talk about. It's discouraging. Frustrating. But you, dear readers, have been so supportive of our family and this process. So even though I have not been in the mood to blog this, I do want to share where we're at.
At the end of January, the two precious little girls we are adopting were moved out of our agency's transition home, where they've lived for the past year and a half. Sent back to the orphanage they first lived in upon coming to Addis, I guess. In hopes of giving this orphanage an incentive to gather the paperwork now required for our case to go to court. See, MONTHS ago our agency requested this paperwork. The orphanage simply hasn't done it yet. So now the girls are living there again, and the idea is that maybe having to feed and clothe them will prompt this place to get their act together and get the paperwork done.
I am honestly a bit heartbroken. It makes me quite sad to think our girls, well-loved and cared for by the nannies at the transition home, were sent away to a place I'm sure they don't remember, and that I've never seen or heard of. More upheaval, more loss, more transition, more broken attachments. Are they confused? Sad? Do they even know we're coming for them? Do they have our welcome bags? Do they have a sweet little nametag above their cribs in the new place? Is someone helping M. with her walking and balance? Does T. get lots of opportunities to work on her crawling and play with her toys? Are they "mainstreamed" with the other children, like they were before? Are they being treated well?
It's just so hard to know that our girls are getting bounced around from place to place, and that our case has been stalled out for months on account of people who just plain refuse to help these kids join a family and receive a future. It's unjust. Not fair. They're stuck in limbo.
So we continue to pray for them to come home to us, but I feel like I'm holding this adoption with open hands...I want to be their mother, I want to bring them home, but it is SO out of our hands. Out of our agency's hands. The landscape of Ethiopian adoption is changing. All the new rules, most imposed by the US Embassy, make it extra difficult to bring home the children most needing families: those who've been waiting. Because it's hard to work backwards to get documentation from all over the country. Sigh.
And this is where I will say that choosing a good agency is crucial. Someone you can, overall, trust. I feel that way about our agency, who's been in Ethiopia longer than pretty much any other and is by most accounts pretty well-respected by both the US Embassy and Ethiopian government. I also wish to say that the new laws and rules are intended to promote ethical adoptions, and if you know me at all then you know that I am ALL for ethical adoptions...doing things the right way...but I don't understand why agencies KNOWN TO BE PRACTICING UNETHICALLY continue to be allowed to operate, while rules and restrictions are tightened up for everyone else, regardless of where your case is in the process, regardless if your child's been waiting so long for a family and very clearly was not "harvested" for profit. Some agencies are not even licensed to be there, but work under a different agency's license. What in the world?
But anyway.
I often find myself walking past the pretty crib bedding I picked up for T., and when I open Mary's closet I see all the hand-me-downs I've set aside for M...and I just can't help but wonder if they'll ever see them. I know in my head that things could pick up and they could be home in a few months. BUT, I also know that adoption is incredibly uncertain. That things are rapidly shifting in Ethiopia. That our girls are caught up in the middle of a broken system and, quite frankly, a broken world.
Yet these precious little ones are survivors. They've beat so very many odds already.
They have Down syndrome.
They have been orphaned in a developing country.
They were on a waiting child list.
They had families come forward to adopt them...
...but those families fell through.
Then God brought us together, and we are fighting like crazy to bring them home, but at seemingly every turn there is some sort of delay that has nothing to do with us.
If nothing else, it's a painful lesson in the idea that our children...our best laid plans...our very lives are in God's hands. The best of intentions and the best of ideas are not completely within our control. We do our part, and we do our best, and we offer ourselves and our homes and hearts up to God to use them...but ultimately, it is He who decides how best to do that. And of course it's also a lesson in the fact that there is injustice, pain and loss nearly everywhere we look. Life won't be easy. Life lived intentionally won't be easy. Destruction and despair are lurking around most corners. There are evil forces at work too. We fool ourselves to believe otherwise.
And yet I look at the dozens of photographs and videos we have of our girls, our only windows into their tender hearts. And I see the smiles on their sweet faces, and can't help but smile myself as I remember that for every one of the world's cruel injustices, there are but a million beautiful moments, countless bits of joy and hope sprinkled throughout that keep us going. That remind us of a merciful, compassionate, loving God who is anything but silent, leaving His fingerprint and very life-giving breath on each piece of beauty, big and small, around us. If only we'll have eyes to see.
So I'm trying to pick myself up, dust myself off and rejoice and delight in the two Ethiopian girls staring back at me from my computer screen and from my living room wall. Not my daughters today, no, not yet, but perhaps soon. They have worked their way quietly, steadily, slowly into my heart. Those eyes, those smiles, the way T. likes playing with her toes and how M. is blowing me kisses on the video. Pure evidence of the joy, peace, love and very heart of Jesus. Necessitating faith, on my part, enough to move mountains and get these girlies home.
Yes there is pain in the waiting. Brokenness in the need for adoption at all. But the most amazing beauty from ashes too.
He is a good God.
He adores my girls.
And He is taking care of them when I cannot.
All I can do is offer up my heart and give this adoption to God, with open hands.
And wait.
At the end of January, the two precious little girls we are adopting were moved out of our agency's transition home, where they've lived for the past year and a half. Sent back to the orphanage they first lived in upon coming to Addis, I guess. In hopes of giving this orphanage an incentive to gather the paperwork now required for our case to go to court. See, MONTHS ago our agency requested this paperwork. The orphanage simply hasn't done it yet. So now the girls are living there again, and the idea is that maybe having to feed and clothe them will prompt this place to get their act together and get the paperwork done.
I am honestly a bit heartbroken. It makes me quite sad to think our girls, well-loved and cared for by the nannies at the transition home, were sent away to a place I'm sure they don't remember, and that I've never seen or heard of. More upheaval, more loss, more transition, more broken attachments. Are they confused? Sad? Do they even know we're coming for them? Do they have our welcome bags? Do they have a sweet little nametag above their cribs in the new place? Is someone helping M. with her walking and balance? Does T. get lots of opportunities to work on her crawling and play with her toys? Are they "mainstreamed" with the other children, like they were before? Are they being treated well?
It's just so hard to know that our girls are getting bounced around from place to place, and that our case has been stalled out for months on account of people who just plain refuse to help these kids join a family and receive a future. It's unjust. Not fair. They're stuck in limbo.
So we continue to pray for them to come home to us, but I feel like I'm holding this adoption with open hands...I want to be their mother, I want to bring them home, but it is SO out of our hands. Out of our agency's hands. The landscape of Ethiopian adoption is changing. All the new rules, most imposed by the US Embassy, make it extra difficult to bring home the children most needing families: those who've been waiting. Because it's hard to work backwards to get documentation from all over the country. Sigh.
And this is where I will say that choosing a good agency is crucial. Someone you can, overall, trust. I feel that way about our agency, who's been in Ethiopia longer than pretty much any other and is by most accounts pretty well-respected by both the US Embassy and Ethiopian government. I also wish to say that the new laws and rules are intended to promote ethical adoptions, and if you know me at all then you know that I am ALL for ethical adoptions...doing things the right way...but I don't understand why agencies KNOWN TO BE PRACTICING UNETHICALLY continue to be allowed to operate, while rules and restrictions are tightened up for everyone else, regardless of where your case is in the process, regardless if your child's been waiting so long for a family and very clearly was not "harvested" for profit. Some agencies are not even licensed to be there, but work under a different agency's license. What in the world?
But anyway.
I often find myself walking past the pretty crib bedding I picked up for T., and when I open Mary's closet I see all the hand-me-downs I've set aside for M...and I just can't help but wonder if they'll ever see them. I know in my head that things could pick up and they could be home in a few months. BUT, I also know that adoption is incredibly uncertain. That things are rapidly shifting in Ethiopia. That our girls are caught up in the middle of a broken system and, quite frankly, a broken world.
Yet these precious little ones are survivors. They've beat so very many odds already.
They have Down syndrome.
They have been orphaned in a developing country.
They were on a waiting child list.
They had families come forward to adopt them...
...but those families fell through.
Then God brought us together, and we are fighting like crazy to bring them home, but at seemingly every turn there is some sort of delay that has nothing to do with us.
If nothing else, it's a painful lesson in the idea that our children...our best laid plans...our very lives are in God's hands. The best of intentions and the best of ideas are not completely within our control. We do our part, and we do our best, and we offer ourselves and our homes and hearts up to God to use them...but ultimately, it is He who decides how best to do that. And of course it's also a lesson in the fact that there is injustice, pain and loss nearly everywhere we look. Life won't be easy. Life lived intentionally won't be easy. Destruction and despair are lurking around most corners. There are evil forces at work too. We fool ourselves to believe otherwise.
And yet I look at the dozens of photographs and videos we have of our girls, our only windows into their tender hearts. And I see the smiles on their sweet faces, and can't help but smile myself as I remember that for every one of the world's cruel injustices, there are but a million beautiful moments, countless bits of joy and hope sprinkled throughout that keep us going. That remind us of a merciful, compassionate, loving God who is anything but silent, leaving His fingerprint and very life-giving breath on each piece of beauty, big and small, around us. If only we'll have eyes to see.
So I'm trying to pick myself up, dust myself off and rejoice and delight in the two Ethiopian girls staring back at me from my computer screen and from my living room wall. Not my daughters today, no, not yet, but perhaps soon. They have worked their way quietly, steadily, slowly into my heart. Those eyes, those smiles, the way T. likes playing with her toes and how M. is blowing me kisses on the video. Pure evidence of the joy, peace, love and very heart of Jesus. Necessitating faith, on my part, enough to move mountains and get these girlies home.
Yes there is pain in the waiting. Brokenness in the need for adoption at all. But the most amazing beauty from ashes too.
He is a good God.
He adores my girls.
And He is taking care of them when I cannot.
All I can do is offer up my heart and give this adoption to God, with open hands.
And wait.
Tuesday, March 01, 2011
Party time
I wanted to share some photos of sweet Anna's 7th birthday party.
It was her first drop-off birthday party--which meant lots of little girls and lots of fun.
We had
This little munchkin was SO excited to attend her big sister's party. So, so sweet.
I love Anna's face in this picture. She adores every single girl that was there that day.
I truly had a blast. See, here I am after the party was over, quite pleased. Because kids are so awesome, and who doesn't love a girly party?! As you know, I nearly had to cancel because of my bronchitis, but I dragged my sick self out to Target the night before the festivities to buy out the Valentine's Day clearance section pick up the party supplies. And as I pretty much collapsed onto the couch upon coming home, and watched Anna and Kaitlyn run around shrieking with excitement about the party the next day, I knew it was all worth it.
We are so, so blessed with amazingly dear friends and family here in Denver. Cousins and friends galore. So grateful for each of these sweet girls and their place in my daughter's life. It's good to be seven, I think!
Friday, February 25, 2011
7 Quick Takes Friday {#22}
1.) Now that we're through with LOST (sniff, sniff), we've begun cycling back through another favorite of ours, Frasier. Oh my goodness, I love this show! We usually watch an episode before going to bed. And, it's hysterical.
2.) I've been wondering lately what evangelical authors wrote about before it became vogue to attack the modern American church. It seems just about every.single.book. out there these days is laying out the problem (materialism, nationalism, greed) and giving the solution (give more, care more). Are people recognizing a valid problem in evangelicalism, or do we attempt to reinvent the wheel with each new generation of evangelicals? Don't get me wrong, I've read some great books in this genre, and I DO think we will ALways need to fight our own greed and inclination to insulate ourselves from the pain and suffering of others, but a particular book I recently read got me thinking. In part because it was written by someone advocating sacrifice and trading in your high paying job for service to the poor, yet this particular person is currently pulling down a 300k-a-year salary. Isn't it easy to point a finger at others and say, "THEY're not giving enough of their money away, or helping the least of these", while we're totally doing the same thing? Let's be honest: what percentage of us are actually selling off all of our posessions (furniture, clothes, IPODs, cell phones, fancy gadgets) and sending the profits to fight Malaria? While I do think a life of intentional poverty is a particular call for some (monasticism for example), I DON'T think the intention is for all of us to live that way. And I DO believe in the virtues of frugality and simplicity, but with all the finger pointing going on, I just really have to wonder how much is cloaked in hypocrisy.
3.) Homeschooling lately has been so discouraging. Partially because I've been so sick and we've gotten out of our routine, but also because I feel stressed out that my sons are not reading fluently yet. I know it's just Kindergarten, but I feel very uneasy about the whole thing. It's hard being a mom sometimes! I really do believe it's still the best option for our family right now, and I know in my head that sticking my kids into a huge classroom full of other kids and distractions isn't going to automatically get them reading, but it's tempting to believe I'm doing it all wrong.
4.) Speaking of homeschooling, I'm reading George Mueller's biography to the kids right now. (Alternating between learning about the saints, and reading missionary biographies that I can get behind. :) ) Anyway, the book is good, but I can't help but feel like George always brushes off his wife's concerns. And this wife doesn't like that! :) I know he's wanting to do all this stuff for God, but he also vowed before God to love and honor his wife. Something I'm liking about his story is his reliance on God--abolishing the practice of pew renting, for example, and trusting God will provide for his needs another way.
5.) Does anyone else get extremely angry when their child makes strategical mistakes while playing a game? Maybe that's just me.
6.) Today for History, we read about the bull-jumpers of Crete. And in the corresponding children's encyclopedia depicting said leaping-over-bulls, the people were not wearing clothes. Um, SERIOUSLY?! No wonder most of them didn't live past the age of 20. Yikes!
7.) A dear, sweet friend is bringing me soup today. I am SO excited. I love me some soup. So I need to go get my shower taken before she gets here. Happy Friday!
*****
Do your own Quick Takes. Link to Conversion Diary.
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Nostalgic night out
I'm prefacing this post by saying that oh my goodness, I am a nerd. I know that. If you didn't, you know now. As you're reading this post, feel free to refer back to this top paragraph, in case you get confused. :)
Several months ago I found out that an old favorite singer of mine from childhood, Kathy Mattea, was coming to Denver. She was going to be playing a mere 12 minutes away from my house. And I knew I just HAD to go. My husband wasn't really interested, plus that would have meant finding a sitter, so I just bought the one ticket.
See, here's the thing about me: I LOVE concerts, and I have no qualms about going to concerts alone. In fact, I've been to many a show by myself, mostly at the California Mid-State Fair , or sometimes at the local university's performing arts center (also in California). If I wanted to see someone, and no one else I knew did, I would go on my own. I figure you go to enjoy the music anyway. There's nothing like sitting peacefully and hearing your favorite songs live, and you certainly don't need a buddy with you to do that.
I've seen Kathy Mattea in concert several times before, the last time being when I was 15. So, it's been fourteen years. I also got to meet her after that particular show. She was seriously the nicest lady ever. Super sweet, down to earth, and extremely witty.
Anyway, the ticketing for the Denver show was general admission, and I wasn't sure how early I needed to get there to score a good seat. SO, armed with a bunch of coughdrops and a roll of toilet paper for my nose (I have bronchitis, remember), I set out, uh, a bit early. And let's just say I got there, and no one else was really there, and I got asked if I was there to work the show. No, I assured the man (who works for the venue, NOT for the artist), I was just there early for the concert (because, let's face it, I'm an idiot).
This is when he fairly assumed I was some weird groupie or something. He wanted to know if I liked country music (a very little bit, I told him, but Kathy Mattea is more folk anyway), if I wanted to meet her because HE had just been tidying up the green room blah blah blah (I can wait until after the show, thanks, and I'm not really that impressed with your job), and then he ended by telling me the good thing is I had plenty of time before the show to "get plastered." (The thought of getting falling-down drunk at a Kathy Mattea show struck me as quite humorous. Too bad he was serious.)
Finally they started seating people, and I did get a great seat, thank-you-very-much. And as people started trickling in, I began to look around, and noticed...I am literally the only person here under 55.
That is not an exaggeration.
I'm not joking.
This is not an incidence of me using hyperbole to make a point on my blog.
Without a doubt, every.single.person.there. was a senior citizen. Except for me. I guess Kathy's demographic has changed, because back in the day when she was a little more commercialized and mainstream, there was a pretty wide variety of ages at her shows. Not so much anymore. Most likely because her latest album, "Coal", was a folk project to bring awareness to the practice of coal mining in Appalachia. Lots of covers of old folk artists' songs. Which clearly attract an older set of fans.
I felt like I was on the set of A Mighty Wind.
And let's face it, I'm perpetually stuck in the '90s with the pop-influenced "Love Travels" and "Walking Away a Winner." Anyway.
Age be darned, I have to confess that as the lights went down and she came out and strapped on her guitar, I was filled with excitement.
When she busted out "18 Wheels and a Dozen Roses", and we all got to sing along, I was in heaven.
And when she was taking requests, and a man behind me kept calling out the name of a song that isn't hers, I wanted to crawl in a hole.
***I also spent the entire two-hour show trying not to cough, and discreetly blowing my nose. My apologies to those sitting around me who will now always associate her music with the scent of cough drops. I'm well aware that when she sang the song "Black Lung", I could have totally gone onstage and demonstrated.
And afterwards, yes, I went and met her like the true getting-there-two-hours-early groupie that I am, and it was super fun getting to tell her I've loved her music since I was a little kid. She really is a very friendly, kind person and it felt like I was seeing an old friend again. I had to ask some people I didn't know to take our picture because, well, I was there by myself. :)
So yes, I had a fabulous time, and I have to say that the venue was AMAZING! She performed in a super old church (over a hundred years old) that was originally a Christian Science church, but now belongs to a nondenominational church who rents it out for shows. It was just gorgeous inside.
Yep, my night out rocked. In spite of my bronchitis, and in spite of my uncomfortable shoes, and in spite of the awkward guy who wanted me to get drunk at the concession stand.
Music is timeless. And next time I'm dragging Kevin along!
(I just tried to find the old picture of Kathy and I, but couldn't. Darn. And I may or may not have fallen down in the garage looking for them. I DID however find photos of me chugging Mountain Dew at the grocery store, stuffing my face with ice cream in Kansas City, and posing with my various 4-H and FFA projects. I'm thinking I need to do some "blast from the past" posts soon! That, and I need to work on my balance.)
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Responsibility vs. extended adolescence
And found it positively fascinating.
It's about men, but there could surely be an analagous article about women.
The whole extended adolescence thing never appealed to me (in myself or in others.) I enjoyed my childhood, but readily embraced marriage and motherhood at ages 20 and 22, respectively.
No, I don't think that was too young. In fact, it is one of the best decisions I ever made. I don't feel I missed out on anything (barhopping? roommate drama? fleeting career success?), and I believe my life has had great meaning at every stage. I married my first boyfriend, the first man I ever loved.
Certainly not everyone is meant to marry before they can legally drink, but something seems amiss when a large portion of adults are more or less dating around and completely uninterested in any sort of serious commitment. Life is about fun and hooking up and partying and maybe being in a relationship, but not a relationship that is actually GOing anywhere.
Some people are freaked out by the idea of marriage, but I was more afraid of the scene I just described.
When Kevin and I started dating, it was really more of a courtship. I was 19, and he was 20, and we started pursuing a relationship to see if we should get married. Once Kevin decided we should, he took my parents out to dinner (unbeknownst to me) and asked for my hand. Maybe that seems ridiculously serious or even desperate for two kids in college, but it was quite the opposite. Both of us were independent people, but we felt we were at a place where we could consider such things, and thought that we'd found something pretty great in each other. And partly because of our commitment to chastity, we would not have dated/courted if we weren't within striking distance of wanting to marry.
Nearly nine years of marriage in, I'd say that yes, we found something incredibly priceless. I'm especially glad that we found it when we did. I think people have this idea that it's objectively best to wait as long as possible to marry, but I'm not so sure about that when you consider the fact that the divorce rate has gone up right along with the average age of marriage. Neither of us set out to marry young, but when we met, we discovered that it was time.
Where do we all end up in life, anyway? Most of us--not all, but most--wind up married and raising children. I think it would behoove us to prepare our children for that very thing, for the responsibilities that go along with it, and encourage them to pursue the virtues they'll need to be a good spouse/parent. That doesn't mean they'll marry super young, or at all, but it's good training just the same. Mostly I think it's about living life with purpose, intentionally, and becoming the person of virtue that God wants you to be. The vocation of marriage (which includes parenthood) is the crucible God designed for many of us, through which to make us holy.
Don't get me wrong: I DON'T think anyone should "rush" into marriage OR take it lightly (I certainly didn't), but I do think we should perhaps examine our priorities and how we're raising our kids. Good food for thought, no?
Monday, February 21, 2011
From my couch
I just wanted to let you all know that I'm still here.
And still fighting for the health of my poor, sad bronchial tubes. :)
By God's grace I was somehow able to rally and throw my daughter a birthday party on Saturday. I was dragging, but it was so totally worth it.
By God's grace I was somehow able to rally and throw my daughter a birthday party on Saturday. I was dragging, but it was so totally worth it.
Then that night I also may have, um, gone to a concert. Yes, I know, brilliant when you're fighting off a nasty illness. But I'd bought my ticket months ago, the show was less than 15 minutes away from my house, and I knew I'd regret not going...even if it set me back a little. (Which, coupled with the party earlier in the day, surely did. Because yesterday I felt like death. Whatevs. It was worth it.)
But I've since resumed my position on the couch, I snuck TWO naps in today, and my cough is better than it's been in awhile. SO I'm hopefully back to making progress.
Sadly I've been neglecting my poor blog, I guess because I've been short on inspiration. (I know, you're just DYING to hear all about my wracking cough, and my favorite type of chicken noodle soup, and about how I slather vaseline on my nose at night to keep it from getting too sore from all the blowing.) All it takes is being sick for awhile to discover that the internet is a horribly dull and boring place, TV is completely and utterly worthless, and it's depressing being isolated from civilization for weeks at a time. I am a textbook introverted-homebody, but OH my goodness, this is getting a bit ridiculous.
It reminds me of when I had mono in 2008, although the nice thing about that was, we lived in a new town in a new state, we didn't know too many people, and we really had no commitments. But now I feel like I'm constantly missing out on things, which I am, and we DO have commitments, which I'm either blowing off or attempting to fulfill in my sorry state. Yesterday for example three of our kids were invited to two different birthday parties. So we divided and conquered and I actually took a shower and got ready, because I hate disappointing my sweet kiddos.
I truly do believe God gives us the grace we need for the task at hand. I'm so happy I got to have a celebration for my daughter's seventh birthday, and that I dragged myself out of the house for the concert--which was wonderful even if I was the only person there under 55--I will share more about soon. I'm glad my kids got to attend birthday parties for their friends yesterday. I've been so frustrated that I'm basically spending February as a partial invalid (I say partial because, let's face it, on the couch or not I still have five kids to wrangle), but when I think about it, there have been some bright spots too!
The best part of today, for example, was teaching Mary Lu how to play peekaboo. Picture her saying "Ahhhhhhhhhhhh ahhhhhhhhhhhh!" really loud while covering her MOUTH, not her eyes, with her sweet little hands. Precious.
Anyway, I hope you're having a wonderful, bronchitis-free week so far...and if not, I HIGHLY recommend the fresh, hot chicken noodle soup from Whole Foods.
It's ALmost worth being sick just to have it.
Really.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
I have bronchitis.
The frequent cough.
The hoarse voice.
The exhaustion.
So.not.fun.
I also have a little girl who is supposed to be having her seventh birthday party on Saturday. Her very first drop-off party. With sweet friends and family.
Not sure if that's happening now.
I'm resting like crazy, trying to kick this thing.
I'm much better today than I was yesterday or two days ago, but I'm definitely not 100%.
Then there are some new friends we've been trying to get together with for dinner. Who I've already had to cancel with on account of sickness. Who now I'll have to put off indefinitely. Awkward.
I had to blow off my volunteer commitment to lunch duty today at the kids' school. We all stayed home. I know I put the school in a bad position (even though I let them know yesterday), but I couldn't find a replacement, and I literally couldn't go. I've been stressed out about that all day long. (I'm a hopeless people pleaser.)
And my boys missed singing their Spanish song onstage today. That makes me so, so sad.
I don't like being sick, especially indefinitely. I don't like having to cancel commitments, I don't like not showing up to stuff, and I don't like having to make a decision about whether or not to go through with my kid's birthday party they've been looking forward to.
Basically I'm a big huge whiner today. You'd think that having five kids, I'd be a little more capable of rolling with life's random punches. In the grand scheme of things this is SO not a big deal. At all. But still I'm bummed. I think primarily because I don't like disappointing other people. Ugh, I have issues! :)
Anyway, if you hear faint coughing in the distance, it's probably me, and you can say a prayer that I beat this thing in the next 24 hours. Totally realistic, right? :)
The hoarse voice.
The exhaustion.
So.not.fun.
I also have a little girl who is supposed to be having her seventh birthday party on Saturday. Her very first drop-off party. With sweet friends and family.
Not sure if that's happening now.
I'm resting like crazy, trying to kick this thing.
I'm much better today than I was yesterday or two days ago, but I'm definitely not 100%.
Then there are some new friends we've been trying to get together with for dinner. Who I've already had to cancel with on account of sickness. Who now I'll have to put off indefinitely. Awkward.
I had to blow off my volunteer commitment to lunch duty today at the kids' school. We all stayed home. I know I put the school in a bad position (even though I let them know yesterday), but I couldn't find a replacement, and I literally couldn't go. I've been stressed out about that all day long. (I'm a hopeless people pleaser.)
And my boys missed singing their Spanish song onstage today. That makes me so, so sad.
I don't like being sick, especially indefinitely. I don't like having to cancel commitments, I don't like not showing up to stuff, and I don't like having to make a decision about whether or not to go through with my kid's birthday party they've been looking forward to.
Basically I'm a big huge whiner today. You'd think that having five kids, I'd be a little more capable of rolling with life's random punches. In the grand scheme of things this is SO not a big deal. At all. But still I'm bummed. I think primarily because I don't like disappointing other people. Ugh, I have issues! :)
Anyway, if you hear faint coughing in the distance, it's probably me, and you can say a prayer that I beat this thing in the next 24 hours. Totally realistic, right? :)
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
5 years ago today
Yes, that is me in 2006 meeting my little boys for the very first time!
And here they are now.
Yosef and Biniam are athletic, smart, silly, kind, handsome boys.
As different as night and day, but twins just the same.
So proud to know them, much less be their mama.
And I met them five years ago today.
Monday, February 14, 2011
Me and my Valentine: through the years
Today marks my eleventh Valentines Day celebrated with Kevin, our ninth being married.
I love being married!
There is no one, NO one, I'd rather be with. Not even close. We're best friends, and our relationship has only grown over the past several years.
I pretty much knew when we started dating that we would get married.
When I look back on those days, I have such fond memories of joint trips to the grocery store, the occasional dinner out, walking downtown, laughing hysterically, seeing each other at church.
Now our days are spent raising kids and going to work, respectively, but we still do plenty of laughing. I thought it would be fun to re-visit each of our Valentines Days with a photo of us from that time period. It's always fun to look back!
2001. Our first Valentines Day that we were dating, Kevin surprised me by going in to my work long before I got there to leave me a pretty plant on my desk and scatter lots of chocolates around etc. He also bought and filled out an entire box of Winnie the Pooh valentine cards and scattered them all over my desk and my car too. That night he made me dinner and dessert, and sang me a sweet song he'd written for me. (This photo was taken a few months after VDay that year, but it's from the same era, so we'll call it good. :) Look how young! And how curly my hair was. Yes, it's naturally that way. No, I never really do it curly anymore. But I should. It's fun!)
2002. Our second shared Valentines Day is one I'll ALways remember. We were engaged, and two days BEFORE Valentines Day I got to my car after class to find Kevin standing there with a dozen red roses. I was so confused! Basically, he had class late ON Valentines Day so had thought we'd celebrate early. Hmmm, part of me didn't like that as much (who wants to sit home on the actual February 14th when you have an eligible date?) so we went out twice. Ha! Chinese food on February 12th (Golden China, to this day the best Chinese restaurant I've ever been to), and then an Italian restaurant (right next to the Palm Theater, can't remember the name) on V-Day. Again, above photo NOT taken on Valentines Day, it was from a couple of months before.
2003. Our third Valentines Day we were married, and Kevin got us reservations at The Harbor restaurant in Santa Barbara...yum!!! I ordered the macadamia nut-crusted halibut with the coconut cream sauce and felt super fancy. (Photo from our actual wedding day.)
2004. Our fourth Valentines Day we spent at HOME with our precious newborn little girl, born just four days earlier! I think we took a walk around the block, her first trip in the stroller. I remember being new parents and being paranoid that something was going to happen to our precious baby outside. That was our best Valentines Day yet, for sure. (This picture was taken a week before Anna was born, so a week or so before V-Day.)
2005. The fifth Valentines Day I don't remember as well. I am sure that we ordered food in and enjoyed a cozy night together at home, once we put the baby down. Love that. (This photo is from a cruise we took to Mexico around that time--well, technically seven months later, but who's counting? We were literally the only sober people on the ship. And my eyes were bright red because of all the cigarrette smoke. I guess we didn't get the memo that we were supposed to be partying like it's 1999.)
2006. Our sixth Valentines Day we were in Rome. Yes, Rome. Sitting in a re-fueling airplane. While Italian employees went up and down the aisles vacuuming and calling out "rubbish? rubbish?" I told Kevin as we sat on the runway that we'd always be able to say we spent Valentines Day 2006 in Rome, and we laughed. Then the plane took off again. We were headed to Ethiopia. To pick up our sons. Another incredibly memorable February 14th.
2007. The seventh Valentines Day I was quite pregnant with Kaitlyn, and I remember taking our three little kids over to the neighborhood park. I'm sure that night we did our standard take-out food after the kids' bedtime. One of our favorite dates for sure.
2008. Our eighth Valentines Day together we all got fast food. Simple, but that's how we roll sometimes. Oh okay, that's how we roll MOST of the time. :)
2009. The ninth Valentines Day Kevin bought me a pound of Sees Chocolates, YUM!, and we all went out to dinner as a family. Love. (I was actually pregnant in this photo, with the baby we lost.)
2010. Our tenth Valentines Day, last year, we went out for Chinese food after church and spent the day together, relaxing at home.
2011. This year, we're all still recovering from our nasty colds and so the day will be low key. But I get to spend it with my Valentine (well, once he gets home from work), and it doesn't get much better than that!
Happy Valentines Day to my special Valentine, Kevin! We've enjoyed some amazing years! I love you!
I love being married!
There is no one, NO one, I'd rather be with. Not even close. We're best friends, and our relationship has only grown over the past several years.
I pretty much knew when we started dating that we would get married.
When I look back on those days, I have such fond memories of joint trips to the grocery store, the occasional dinner out, walking downtown, laughing hysterically, seeing each other at church.
Now our days are spent raising kids and going to work, respectively, but we still do plenty of laughing. I thought it would be fun to re-visit each of our Valentines Days with a photo of us from that time period. It's always fun to look back!
Happy Valentines Day to my special Valentine, Kevin! We've enjoyed some amazing years! I love you!
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