Wednesday, April 04, 2007

My boys

I'll be honest and say I never envisioned myself being the mother of boys! Before having kids (and even after Anna was born) I always pictured my children as little girls, and even now I can't picture myself with an itty bitty newborn boy.

And as you know, I am the mother of not one but TWO boys! They are sure a lot different from girls--they're less emotional, they love to roughhouse and yell, they love playing in the dirt. (Of course they also enjoy wearing Anna's purses and dress-up shoes...go figure.)

Monday I took the kids (yes, all four!) to the park. It was lunchtime at the neighboring jr. high school and the basketball courts were crazy with activity; every single hoop was in use and it occurred to me that someday MY two boys are going to be teenagers shooting hoops with their friends. This really made me nervous!

I want my sons to grow into courageous, compassionate, responsible, respectful men. How do I impart these values to Yosef and Biniam? Maybe the father plays the primary role in this, and if so, what is there for me, the mother, to leave with my sons? I guess I'll figure this out as I go!


In the meantime, I can't wait for the day when I'm cheering at their football or little league games, or for the day when they listen to really loud, annoying music and try to be "cool."

9 comments:

Nohe 5 said...

As the mom of two boys, soon the mom of three, I try to remind myself that I am not raising boys, I am raising men. The men they become will depend on how I raise the boys they are today.

Kristen Borland said...

i think daddies do play a huge role in this, but the mommies are very important too. because i have boys, i'm constantly reminded myself (and mike reminds me too!) to let them be boys, to relax a bit, let it be loud and crazy sometimes, and to not be overly cautious about everything. boys need to let their testosterone out. don't supress that. discipline is so very important, so there's a balance to how much you let them be boys and how much you control their behavoir (a difficult balance!). boys are awesome! and yours are way too cute (as are ours). you'll have to watch out for the ladies later on!

by the way, are these pictures in a NEW vehicle??? are pigs flying??

Brianna Heldt said...

Kristen HA!!!! No, no pigs flying yet. (These pics are actually from December.) But maybe soon...

And yeah it is tough to know the balance, what to control and what not to control! I find it's been much easier to find that balance with Anna.

Lara said...

I can't believe I remember this, but somewhere in our psychology classes they taught us that for boys their dads are really essential for them from ages 3-8 when they are learning what it means to be male, then from ages 9-13 their moms are essential to them because they are learning what to look for in a mate and how to treat that woman. Obviously that is flipped for the girls, so Anna will epecially need her daddy at age 9.
Anyway, the point is that you have a very important role to play for a long time still.
I don't know if you remember this story, but when Cory Wilson was a boy his dad would give him money and have him take his mom on dates. Cory would pay and open the doors for his mom and learn all the important gentlemanly things to do. I always thought that was a cool idea.

Solomon & Malachi said...

Ooooo! Have you read Bring up Boys by Dr. Dobson? I'm so glad I read it. It's one of those books that makes you parent differently. I would have done things a lot differently with raising my sons had I not read it. It really gives confidence and eases fears for Moms like us who were going to have just girls :)

Solomon & Malachi said...

Oooops, it's called Bringing Up Boys, not Bring Up Boys. As you can tell, it's been a long day doing just that...

S. said...

Your boys are just beautiful. I am sure you will do a great job!

gracie :) said...

Your boys (and your girls!) are absolutely adorable. Having recently become a foster mom to a little black boy which we could potentially adopt, I find myself asking many questions about having what it takes. I have five brothers, so surely I've learned some about boys along the way. But this parenting thing is really intimidating! It helps so much to have a supportive husband who is really there for your children...I've been blessed with that, and it sounds like you have too.

Kristen Borland said...

okay, so now i'm curious. is this like your parents' car? man, i'm nosey!

lara, love that story about cory! what a fun idea!

 

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