(Picture her speaking in a really ditzy, teeny-bopper voice)
"So are you, like, currently working in the field of psychology?"
"No, I'm a mom. I have kids." (Five actually, but who's counting?)
"Oh! Um, okay! A stay at home mom." (Wow, thanks for the validation...) "Well, have you EVER worked in the Psychology field?"
"No." (Not unless you count parenting FIVE CHILDREN day in and day out, including two who came home with some trauma issues. But whatever.)
"Ummm, okaaaaaay. So have you been back to visit Cal Poly since you graduated?"
"No." (Didn't have the heart to break the news that I didn't, in fact, actually graduate...that sometimes God has other plans that far surpass your own. I also refrained from asking her if it's NORMAL to go lurking around your alma mater when you're in your late 20s. Because at best that seems desperate, and at worst, creepy.)
"Okay, well, like, I wanted to invite you to Open House this year. Do you think you can come?"
"No." (Really? She knows I live in Colorado. What on EARTH would I be doing at Open House?)
"Um, um, okay. So like here's the other reason for my call." (Riggggghht. NOW we get to the REAL reason this college student, who by this time I'm certain MUST be either a cheerleader or in a sorority of some sort, possibly both, is calling me.) "Things have been, like, really hard with the budget cuts. Things have been, like, so hard this year. Like getting classes, and stuff with education, and, like the cuts..."
At this point she droned on and on (making less and less sense, but I patiently sat and let her finish.) FINALLy she stopped and awkwardly asked, "Um, like, so can you make a donation?"
"No thank you." (Sorry, our charitable giving is generally reserved for relief organizations, the kids we sponsor in Ethiopia and Uganda, our church, and the girl scouts when it's cookie time. I ALMOST asked if she'd caught the news lately or heard of a place called Haiti, and whether she REALLY thought things had been so hard for her at college, but of course I didn't.)
"Well, if you enjoyed your time at Cal Poly at all, you really should consider making a donation." (Hmmm, not really a fan of school. At all. I went to college to get a work permit, but ended up scoring a husband instead. The Psychology program was good and I did well, but I have zero CP green and gold mustang pride. Sorry folks.)
"No thank you."
So yeah, she was rude on top of it all. Unable to hide her bitterness that I didn't shell out some money for the suffering college students in San Luis Obispo, CA. I was polite, but I sure couldn't match her enthusiasm. (Must have been the Red Bull or something.)
The thing is, I DO have some fond memories of the PSY department. I had some great professors and all that. But I REFUSE to be guilted into donating, and so long as they have these sorority sisters calling me and acting like I owe the university something, I won't be. Not saying it's not a worthy cause, but REALLY. The way she was talking you'd have thought she was trying to raise money for St. Jude's.
Hate to be snarky, but it is what it is.
Except that, like, maybe it's a little fun sometimes.