Friday, August 20, 2010

Not what I wanted to hear

Yesterday Mary Lu had her weight check.

To see if she had gained any weight since her last visit.

And...she weighed LESS.  She LOST weight.


I feel so sad and frustrated.

My ten-month-old weighs less than she did at SIX months.

So we ended up over at Children's Hospital here in Denver to run some tests.  Some of the results I should have today, but unfortunately we weren't able to get a good urine sample so I'll have to go BACK to the hospital so they can try again.

Obviously I was hoping for better news.  I was hoping to see that she'd gained some weight, even if only an ounce or two.  But, no.

To be honest I feel a bit defeated.  I was so tired after yesterday's medical appointments--I didn't leave the hospital until 5:45 pm...and stopped for greasy pizza on my way home.  'Cause it was that kind of day.  (And don't think that I didn't have several pieces of pizza PLUS two sticks of crazy bread AND a can of soda.  I enjoyed it immensely.  Didn't feel the least bit guilty.  Or care that I ate more than my husband.)

I guess at this point I just want closure.  I want to know why my baby can't seem to maintain her weight.  Most of the time I'm pretty laid back when it comes to this sort of thing (I am so not that person that freaks out if my kid's not on the growth chart, or if they have a fever), but right now I admit I'm a little worried.

There's a condition the doctor suspects she may have (an issue with her kidneys where there's too much acid in her blood, and which she would eventually outgrow), and he's also testing her thyroid and other stuff too.  If everything comes back negative, he'll order a sweat test to rule out Cystic Fibrosis.  (For which she literally has no other symptoms.  Goodness, I hope it's nothing serious.)

Being a mom is so hard sometimes.  We love our little ones so incredibly much and waiting on test results is grueling.

ALL of that being said, Mary is one sweet baby, babbles lots now and loves lifting both of her arms up over her head in the air.  So very cute.  (And of course it goes without saying that she's crawling all over the place and getting into all manner of stuff she shouldn't be.)

For now, I've reattached her little bag and am waiting for her to pee.  (And hoping the bag actually catches the urine this time.  It was an epic fail yesterday.)  Then it's back to the hospital with said bag.

Isn't it funny how in middle-class America you (well, I do anyway) develop this false sense of security with your little ones?  They're not supposed to be sick, or have medical issues, or learning delays, or whatever.  But when else does life work that way?  I just keep thinking about how much I love my sweet baby girl, regardless of any issues she may have been born with.  I know so.very.many. mamas who have sweet children dealing with major medical stuff.  It's apparently part of life.  Some people may escape with a pretty ho-hum, "happy" existence but difficulty is bound to touch some aspect of our time here on earth.  It just is.

In summary: Mary will be okay, we'll be okay, mostly I hate the waiting and wondering, and I'm really, REALLY hoping that she pees soon so we can get that sample to the hospital and be done with the tests (for now, anyway)!  And I'm oh-so-thankful for such great family and friends who pray for us and remain a constant source of encouragement that I can count on.  Not to mention, when you have a baby who grins at you like she is in that photo, who can feel sad or anxious for too long??!!

I'll keep you all updated on whether her bag actually catches the urine what we find out.  Yay for Friday!


Monica said...

Oh Brianna! I am praying for you and your sweet baby girl.

We have been through similar experiences with Lukey. From birth he had lung and weight issues. He's been tested for CF, allergies, and a host of other issues. God has been so faithful to watch over him. It is so hard, as the mommy, to sit back and not know how to make it better, to let lots of tests be run.

Praying they find the cause soon.


Rachel said...

I'm so sorry that you are having to go through all of this. Praying that it is nothing serious and that she starts putting on the pounds soon.

Katie said...

Praying for your little girl! We had to go through several tests with our first because of weight issues. I know it can be frustrating. I hope all is ok!

excitedtobeafamily said...

I am so sorry! We are praying for you! Don't feel bad about trying to catch pee with those dang bags! We had to do it with my first born and it is tough! I hope they find answers soon!

jenny said...

So sorry, Brianna. No fun. :-(

Jeannett said...

so sorry! yucky!

as for the urine, we went through FIVE...yes, five bags. caught nothing. zip. zilch. nada. i was so defeated, i called the lab crying asking if there was any way we could get the results from a blood draw. nope. finally, my sweet sister literally sat on the floor...jill on her bottoms...just the bag...and watched...and watched...and when she started going, my sister secured the bag and caught it all! i thought i was going to sob with joy! i literally jumped around squealing! so, um, yeah...good luck and you might have to do a similar routine. :(

good luck!

JaneeNoel said...

I totally understand where you're at! It was so stressful when we dealt with this with Noelle. . . and then all of the sudden she started growing and now at age 3 she's on the charts and growing fine. We'll never know if there was actually anything wrong or not, but all of that testing and seeing one specialist after another sure gets stressful. I hope you get some answers soon.

Kate said...

oh brianna. i'm so sorry. waiting is so hard. i'll be praying for you all. yikes, no fun. hang in there. love you.

this is us said...

we love you little Mary Lu and we're praying for you AND your mama!


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