Sunday, January 04, 2009

Good for a laugh

Thank you all SO MUCH for the kind and encouraging words. We're hanging in there. Our trip to California was amazing and I am so, so grateful for the time we got to spend with family and friends. Then this morning we were back at our church in downtown Denver and it felt good. I think it's feeling like home now. This week we might get to celebrate Ethiopian Christmas with sweet friends. Both of my moms groups are starting back up soon. Lots going on, and of course we're re-orienting ourselves to life now without the anticipation of a new baby coming this summer. I can have caffeine and alcohol again and I'm not peeing all the time and I guess I just really miss being pregnant. It's hard. BUT, life is still full. Grief is strange, especially when the loss is kind of intangible. It comes and goes, and as time passes it will get a little easier. It's kinda like the children's story We're Going On a Bear Hunt. We can't go over it, we can't go under it, we've got to go through it.

Anyway, I'm still laughing over something that happened earlier and I just had to share.

Today after church we stopped at Whole Foods for some groceries. As I was paying, the man bagging my food said, and I quote:

One of your cutie's is squashed.

WHAT?! For the life of me I could NOT figure out WHAT he was talking about (and started wondering if I should be offended! Ha!) THEN it occurred to me he was talking about my clementine orange thingies I was buying, otherwise known as cuties. Whew. He really had me wondering for a minute!

Hope you have a great rest of the weekend!


Joanie said...

Glad to hear an update and that you're laughing - and eating delicious clementines - most likely from beautiful Bakersfield, CA. Still keeping you in prayer.

Angela said...

Hello Brianna. I am saddened by your family's recent loss. At the same time though, I am renewed with a sense of hope. While something like this could rock the faith of a lot of people, your faith is helping you through this. It won't be easy, but the Lord will guide you, Kevin, Anna, Yosef, Biniam, Kaitlyn and all those touched by this. He will be your rock and I am sure that you will all lean on each other. I have been thinking about your little one a lot since you announced that you were expecting and I have been thinking a lot about him or her since the news of his/her passing. If we allow ourselves to see the silver lining in all of this, we can take joy of sorts in that your little one who passed on 4 years ago, and the little one of Mike's and Rachel's who passed on before Ainsley came into this world are now comforting and caring for your baby who just passed on. I know that this will still be very tough for all of you, but maybe this thought will help in some small way. It is so hard to understand God's plans and reasoning sometimes, but I trust (as I am sure that you and Kevin do) that the Lord has a reason for all He does. I am glad that your baby was able to bless you for as long as he was alive and I am sure that s/he will welcome you and the rest of your family when it is time for each to enter Heaven. I am confident that his or her life will continue to touch you always. S/he will always be a blessing to you. The H family from Las Vegas loves you guys (as does the Lord) and we will always pray for all of you. God Bless!

Angela H.

Angela said...

Too funny about the clementines. I have had some strange experiences at stores lately. On Christmas Eve, I ran into one store for just a couple of minutes and parked normally. Well, some other shopper decided not to park normally and parked a Hummer right behind my car in the lot! There were tons of other spots available, but I guess the driver did not like those. I was completely blocked in and had no way of getting out. I had no choice but to get security and have the car towed. Unfortunately, a common problem in this town is that people generally do not care about one another and they treat each other quite disrespectfully. Of course, that is not true of all people here, but it is the case with so many of them. A few days before that, I was at the grocery store and the dairy guy stopped me and asked what I was doing there (in what seemed like a friendly way). At first I thought he thought I was someone else, but he didn't. He said that I normally shop at X time on Y day (which he was right on) and that I had not yet gotten some item that I normally get. I got out of that aisle quickly, but about a dozen times in different parts of the store, he was right behind me pretending to do things on shelves nearby. It was creepy. Oh well. At least your story was funny. Mine was bizarre. Enjoy your "cuties". That one definitely had me laughing. I am probably going to think of that for a long time when I see clementines.

Angela H.

Anonymous said...

Brianna, I'm so sorry for your loss. I love that you have these precious children waiting for you in Heaven- my mom had a number of miscarriages in the years between my brother and me, so I guess that means I'll be meeting a bunch of brothers and sisters when I get there, too!
Take care, praying for you,

Brianna Heldt said...

Angela we actually just drove through Vegas on our way home (totally thought of you!) and ate at the In N Out there near the strip. Only at the Vegas In N Out are there multiple stretch limos and taxis in the parking lot, and people consuming large amounts of beer out of cans! :)

Angela said...

Yeah, Vegas has some "uniqueness" with things like that. Did you at least get to enjoy your food without the beer drinkers getting out of hand? I hope so! That is sweet that you thought of me while here. I have to tell you that I have greatly enjoyed getting to know your family virtually over the past few years. I consider it a privilege. Thanks for writing. Maybe one of these days we can meet up in Vegas, Denver or somewhere else. We really enjoyed Denver when we were there for my husband's work trip in the summer and hope to head back sometime within the next few months. I know he's got another conference there coming up, but he is not sure when it is yet. He thinks it will be in the springtime, but we'll see. If it is in the spring, I probably can't go along because my stepsons have school and I will need to stay home with them, but if it is in the summer, we'll all probably get to go.

I hope that you are doing as well as you can right now. Please know that we are praying for you and your family. Feel free to contact me if you want to talk (phone or e-mail, anytime).


joy said...

Hi, Brianna. It was SO SO great to see you when you were here. Dinner was a special time. Just got back from vacation and read your sad news. I am so sorry. I'm sending you hugs and cookies (both virtually). After my miscarriage, somebody bought me some cookie dough and I have to say, it was quite tasty. Anyway, your perspective is very encouraging (as always). someone else said something similar, but I like to think that my mom (who is in heaven) is rocking our dear little baby. so, when friends have miscarriages, I like to think of her as rocking the other babies as well. So much to look forward to!--Two heldts in heaven--we just love the ones here so much that it is fun to imagine meeting the waiting ones one day in God's time. Love you much.

Luke said...

That is a very funny story. Keep laughing and resting in the goodness of God.


Brianna Heldt said...

Oh Joy I had such a wonderful time with you at dinner too!!! SO glad for the time we got to spend together. Thanks so much for the encouraging words--I'm so glad your mom is there looking after your baby and mine too! And virtual cookies sound fabulous! :) Love to you!

Lara said...

I totally laughed outloud. Too funny. I miss you already!! Thanks for making so much time for us while you were here.
Big Hugs!!


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