I just wanted to let my dear friends who didn't know yet, and everyone that's been praying for us, know that we lost our baby on Wednesday morning. Sigh. We are processing through it all still and of course are devastated. Thanks to all who prayed for us and who are continuing to do so. We just got home from California late last night.
While it is incredibly sad and I have shed many tears over this loss, I know our baby is with Jesus. He or she will never know pain, loneliness, heartache, or suffering. Just the joy of being in the presence of the Lord!!! And we now have two babies to meet when we get to Heaven. (I also miscarried four years ago.) I hate that I have to wait, but what a blessing that we can put our hope in Jesus and be confident that in His timing everything will be made perfect and right.
I feel like in all of this God is really challenging me. If I profess to believe that each and every child is a gift from the Lord, that means EVERY child, no matter how long they are here on earth. Miscarriage, as you know if you've gone through it, is HORrible. Yet I feel in my heart that this baby was a gift. Not something I can wish never existed because the outcome wasn't what I wanted, or because now I have to endure grief.
Anyway, these are some thoughts swirling around in my head. If you think of us, please continue praying for healing etc. As awful as it was, God has been so incredibly merciful through it all. Physically the miscarriage was very easy, not painful, and I didn't end up needing to go to the hospital. I was surrounded by my wonderful husband, four precious children, and my loving parents. Sweet friends were praying. My life is so full, and I am so blessed. I have some dear friends pregnant right now, and I am so excited about these precious babies on the way! That is a definite encouragement to me.
So God is good, even when I don't understand, and I am clinging to that today. I just keep thinking how amazing it is to have the hope we have in the Lord. In the midst of the emptiness and sadness I now feel, Jesus is right there with me. And He's caring for my babies right now. What a blessing!!!!