Saturday, January 03, 2009

Some sad news

I just wanted to let my dear friends who didn't know yet, and everyone that's been praying for us, know that we lost our baby on Wednesday morning. Sigh. We are processing through it all still and of course are devastated. Thanks to all who prayed for us and who are continuing to do so. We just got home from California late last night.

While it is incredibly sad and I have shed many tears over this loss, I know our baby is with Jesus. He or she will never know pain, loneliness, heartache, or suffering. Just the joy of being in the presence of the Lord!!! And we now have two babies to meet when we get to Heaven. (I also miscarried four years ago.) I hate that I have to wait, but what a blessing that we can put our hope in Jesus and be confident that in His timing everything will be made perfect and right.

I feel like in all of this God is really challenging me. If I profess to believe that each and every child is a gift from the Lord, that means EVERY child, no matter how long they are here on earth. Miscarriage, as you know if you've gone through it, is HORrible. Yet I feel in my heart that this baby was a gift. Not something I can wish never existed because the outcome wasn't what I wanted, or because now I have to endure grief.

Anyway, these are some thoughts swirling around in my head. If you think of us, please continue praying for healing etc. As awful as it was, God has been so incredibly merciful through it all. Physically the miscarriage was very easy, not painful, and I didn't end up needing to go to the hospital. I was surrounded by my wonderful husband, four precious children, and my loving parents. Sweet friends were praying. My life is so full, and I am so blessed. I have some dear friends pregnant right now, and I am so excited about these precious babies on the way! That is a definite encouragement to me.

So God is good, even when I don't understand, and I am clinging to that today. I just keep thinking how amazing it is to have the hope we have in the Lord. In the midst of the emptiness and sadness I now feel, Jesus is right there with me. And He's caring for my babies right now. What a blessing!!!!

35 comments:

mayhem said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. You're right, your baby is a blessing regardless of the outcome of the pregnancy. But I imagine it must be very difficult, regardless.

tricia said...

I'm sorry for your loss...I recently went through a miscarriage also, my thoughts are with you and your family.

Rob Robertson said...

A little more than a year ago I would not have had any idea of the pain you may be feeling from the loss of a child. Children change everything! How great it is that we can put our faith in Christ knowing that he is in control and taking care of our children. How Great the Fathers love for us! You and your family are in our prayers.

I am Katy, said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. We'll be praying for you.

MoonDog said...

I am so sorry. I too lost a baby. with time the pain eases. sending happy thoughts and a brighter new year for you.

andy gibson said...

I'm sorry Heldts. What a bummer here on earth, but your p-nut is in good hands with the Lord.

Audrey said...

I'm so sorry Brianna. You are absolutely right - that precious little one is dancing with Jesus. I will keep you and your family in prayer for healing from this terrible loss.

Eos said...

I'm so sorry...i know what it's like first hand. Moments like these I wish I had the kind of faith you have to lean into (I'm an Agnostic) as it seems to give you comfort. Hugs to you and your family.

Shonni said...

I am so sorry...we will be praying for your family

Jeannett Gibson said...

Oh Brianna. I am so sad to hear about this. I won't pretend to know what to say in a situation like this, but I'll just stick to letting you know that I'll be praying for healing and peace. Love you guys.

expectingamiracle said...

I am so sorry. I know that it's just so tough and heartbreaking. :(

But you are right, children are a gift, no matter how long they are here with us.

shell said...

I am so sorry Brianna. Know you are loved and prayed for!

Paige said...

Oh Brianna we are so sorry to hear of your loss. You guys continue to be in our thoughts and prayers.

Amber said...

I am so sorry to hear the sad news. Your positive attitude is an inspiration and I know it will help you get through this hard time. My thoughts are with you and your family!

Mama Mote said...

I was sorry I didn't get a chance to see you while you were here and now this. Obviously, no words can be said that you haven't heard before. We love you guys and pray that you are comforted and cared for by our Lord. I don't know what you're going through and won't pretend to, but I am thankful that He is in control and that your trust is in Him AND that you will meet your darlings in the future. God bless.

Jenna said...

Brianna, I am so sorry and wish I had better words to say. It is amazing to me the outlook you have on this and your faith truly is an inspiration to so many!

Crystal said...

I am so sorry Brianna--I am praying for you and your heart to be comforted and held by Jesus!!!! Hugs to you my dear friend hugs to you!!! :)

I had four miscarriages in the span of two years --I know how this feels but you are so right they are with Jesus and we will meet them some day!!! :) You are amazing :)

Kate said...

oh, brianna. i am so sorry. its so hard, even though we know god has a perfect and loving plan. i am thinking of you and praying for you and wishing i could give you a big big hug. tears are being shed alongside you all the way from california. hang in there.

Kristen Borland said...

brianna, i am so very sorry. i know this pain too well. i'm so, so sorry. i will be praying for you. you have a beautiful perspective, and what a welcoming party you'll have in heaven. yes, it's so hard to wait! i'm so glad this one has been physically easier than the first one. i'm sorry you had to travel during the midst of it. keep leaning on God.

Angela said...

I love you sweet friend. I am so sorry for you and for Kev, and your sweeties. I can't wait to see you and HUG you. We are praying...and loving you. I'm tearing up again as I type this. My heart hurts for you guys.
Soon, my friend. Soon.

Joanie said...

Brianna, Kevin, Anna, Yosef, Biniam, Kaitlyn,
We love you so much. Aching for you over the contrast of excitedly leaving for a holiday reunion, then having to walk back in the door totally changed. So sorry. We will pray.

Brenda Williams said...

So sorry for your loss! I'll be praying for you!

darci said...

so sorry. praying for you today.

Anonymous said...

I just wanted to add my condolences to the many already here. I am so Sorry for your loss and our family will keep you in our thoughts and prayers.

Katie

Owlhaven said...

I'm so sorry, Brianna!

Mary

Shana said...

Brianna,

I am so sorry to hear this. I, too, have babies in heaven, and I rejoice with you that we will hold them one day. Please know that we are praying for you all.

Shana and family

Lesley said...

I am so sorry
Lesley

Rachel Slagle said...

i am so, so sorry to hear about your loss. having just gone through a miscarriage a few weeks ago, your words really struck a chord with me. they described what i have been feeling to a t.

Luke said...

Lord, I ask for peace and comfort in a way that only You can provide. Amen.

I wish I could say more.

~Luke

Type (little) a said...

I usually lurk, but I wanted to offer my condolences to you. I had a miscarriage in November. It hurts. What makes it worse is that people just say things like "it's for the best".

Sorry you lost your baby. You have such a wonderful attitude about it, I'm sure you'll be fine. :-0

Hauswife said...

Sad, sad news, Brianna... Through the grief, though, you're absolutely right that each baby is a gift from God. Praise the Lord for the Day of Resurrection when you'll get to see your little ones face to face. I look forward to hugging the two babies that I never got to hold and kiss, too. Blessings and prayers, Brianna.

Meagan Brown said...

So sad to read this news today and will be praying for God's complete healing.

~ meagan

Leah said...

I have been reading your blog for quite some time. I am so sorry for you loss. May God give you the comfort and strength you need.

Amy Jo said...

As others have said, I am so sorry for your loss. Your post, and more importantly, your faith, are beautiful. Praying that the Lord holds you especially close during this time and bringing healing to your heart.

Lisa Leonard said...

Just catching up and I am so sorry to hear your news. Love you guys!

 

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