Monday, April 13, 2009

So good to be "out"

Thanks so much for all the well-wishes! We're super excited about Kid #5. And it's SO NICE to be out with the news. I felt SO STUPID keeping it from people for so long because truly, it became rather obvious.

I'm sure it seems weird to some people that we'd keep it a secret. When we first found out I was pregnant, back in January, we were THRILLED. And a little shocked. Excited, but worried. (I'd just miscarried, afterall.) So we decided to wait out the first trimester before saying anything. Because for us it's really stressful having to go back and share sad news with people...and hope everyone gets the memo. Over a month after my first miscarriage (four years ago), someone came up to me at church and happily congratulated me...and I had to tell them I'd lost my baby over a month ago...and it was awkward. Plus, being the introverts that we are, we're pretty private people anyway (I know, why on earth do I have a blog?), so we're not really busting at the seams to make a big announcement. Mostly because half the time you end up having to defend your decision to have another child once you have more than about 3 kids. That gets old pretty fast.


I DON'T want to give the impression that I somehow think it's less of a baby or something until it makes it to the second trimester. That couldn't be farther from the truth. We've prayed so hard for this baby ever since we found out we were expecting. I'm in love with this little one and I was in love with the last little one even though he/she didn't make it.

Kevin thinks it's fun having a secret just between us. I do too until my shirts stop fitting and I have to come up with dumb excuses to turn down alcohol at friends' houses. I remember we told people pretty much right away when we found out we were expecting Anna. I miss that, but for us, this just works better for now.

And if anyone is wondering if we're "done" after this, I hope not! :) Most likely we'll adopt again in the next few years and I'm sure there will at some point be another pregnancy in our future. We don't really ever see ourselves taking permanent measures to prevent pregnancy and we also don't see ourselves reaching a point where we'll say, "we're for sure never adopting again". There are SO MANY children waiting for families. And children are a blessing. Motherhood is a gift. God put medical-needs adoption on our hearts when we adopted the first time and that desire has really only grown. I don't know what the "right" number of kids for us is, but God does, so I don't have to. :)

All of that to say, I really am so glad that people know now! It's much easier to be excited, and now I won't be self-conscious about my disproportionately puffy stomach. :)

12 comments:

Amber said...

I am soo happy for you. And, I completely get the explaining after about 3. But who cares???? Your belly is soo cute and there is a little precious baby coming soon it doesn't get much better. Yay!!!!

Joanie said...

So beautifully put. Such a loving and inspiring example.

I love hearing your plans for expanding the team, and just feel led to cheer you on!!!

The Fearnsides said...

Congratulations!!!

Your posts are always so encouraging and inspiring.

Why is it that after three kids people think it necessary to make sure you aren't going to have anymore (and then are shocked when you say you might)?!

I am so excited for you and your family. Can't wait to hear more about him/her. You have the cutest belly ever!

Monica

Brianna Heldt said...

Yeah Monica I'm not sure! 3 is the magic number I think. My hunch is that people with fewer than 3 are probably hassled about when are they going to have another one, but once you get to 3, I think you're supposed to stay there!

paige said...

You are an awesome person! Why only parent three children when you have so much love to offer?? I wish I would have been as wise as you when I was your age. :)

Paige

Amber said...

I'm so excited for you and Kevin, and I must say that it's also great you are going to adopt sometime in the futre. I was just watching Oprah with some dad's who have adopted and I think it is such a wonderful/selfless thing to do.

Since you are the only person I 'know' who has a adopted, I always think of your family when I hear about other adoptions. :-)

Angela said...

Yay again! I'll be praying for you and that sweet little bump of love!

Meg said...

I think it is horrible when a person has to defend their decision- whether it is one or ten.......I'll never understand peoples need to get involved with things that are not their concern......good for you- and congratulations!
Meg

Wendy said...

I get it. After loosing an adoption 72 hours before we were to get on a plane to bring the child (who we had already met), I get it. With adoption #2, we did not tell anyone until we were through court. With adoption #3, we didn't tell anyone until after referral. It did take away some of the joy.

Sharla said...

Congratulations on baby #5! I think big families are such a blessing! We always said that we'd be done at 6 but now are on the road to adopting #6 and #7 and don't know if we'll stop there. We're just leaving it up to God, I guess. I hope the rest of your pregnancy is great and look forward to hearing what you're having.

Sharla said...

Congratulations on baby #5! I think big families are such a blessing! We always said that we'd be done at 6 but now are on the road to adopting #6 and #7 and don't know if we'll stop there. We're just leaving it up to God, I guess. I hope the rest of your pregnancy is great and look forward to hearing what you're having.

Dawn said...

SO so so Happy for you! Each new sweet face is such a treasure!

 

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