Thursday, January 13, 2011

Is this an adoption blog?

There are SO MANY adoption bloggers out there.

Half the time, that's why people START a blog.

It's why I started mine five and a half years ago.  To keep track of our process.  And I hoped it could be a source of information about Ethiopian adoption for others.  (Hard to believe, but back then, there were hardly ANY people blogging about adopting from Ethiopia.)

Of course once the adoption is final, and the children are home, there isn't really any more process to blog about.  Even though adoption remains part of your life. 

Anyhow, it's odd, being in-process again and having a blog.  Because it occurs to me that I don't really post about adoption all that often these days.  Maybe I got out of the habit after our boys came home.  Maybe I just plain have nothing to say (no, THAT can't be it.  :)  )  Honestly I don't know why. 

The thing is, adoption is COMPLICATED and HUGE.  Multi-faceted.  I have assorted (strong) feelings and opinions on the matter but it takes effort to delve into them.  I know there are people reading my blog with questions about adoption, who are thinking about taking the plunge and all that.  So I want to post about it more, I think.

And I'll start by answering a question that I get asked a LOT: 

Is the adoption process hard?

My answer is usually, as you could probably guess because you know I am a hopelessly diplomatic people-pleaser, yes and no.  Yes because it involves paperwork, notarizations, visits with a social worker, a physical, and potentially lots of waiting.  Things that make a mom-to-five-small-children want to pull her hair out.  But my answer is also no, because we work WAY harder at tons of other things that have a MUCH smaller payoff and MUCH less significance.  We invest more time and money in recreation, entertainment, cars, Starbucks, smart phones, the list goes on.  Yet we shake our heads and say the adoption process is too hard and expensive.

Well, yes, it IS hard.  And it IS (gulp) expensive.  But so are lots of other things that we don't think twice about doing or owning or...going into debt for.  The thing is, with those other things, there is an opportunity cost (just like with adoption), but it doesn't FEEL like a sacrifice.  Because we want the stuff.  But using money on an adoption that would otherwise be used to spruce up your hideous, shame-inducing yard DOES feel like a sacrifice.  Go figure.

But I think the best things in life (marriage, children, relationships, love) take time and work.  The things that come easiest rarely satisfy.  So yes the process may be difficult for any number of reasons, but it is WORTH IT.  All the way.  And, if I can navigate my way through it all with five kids racing around my hideous, shame-inducing yard, so can you.  Truly.

So yes, this is an adoption blog.  Our family has been touched by adoption, so inevitably it is part of who we are.  And we are in the midst of another adoption, so I want to share about that too.  I don't know how exactly I would categorize this random little piece of the blogosphere, but I do hope that adoption is always a part of my blathering voice! 


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